Feeling guilty with J playing alone

[moss]

J was getting upset with me holding him, and his father couldn't help him either, so we decided to put him in the baby nest to see if that would help. He cried for maybe thirty seconds then accidentally hit the hanging monket and stopped. Now he is sitting in there kicking and gurgling, staring at a toy cat and his feet. He hasn't tolerated being on his own for more than 10 minutes or so, and is actually starting to get fussy now, but I still feel really guilty when he is sitting on his own. I know everyone says it is good for them, but he looks wrong sitting there all alone, even if I am just a few feet away. Does anyone else feel like this?

(He is already in the carrier with S again.)

 

[Bee]

If he is fine on his own then let him be imo. You will soon wish he plays on his own honest!

We've had to build it up as Finlay want attention contantly. Now he happily plays on his own which gives us some time and a bit of a break. When they become more demanding you will be bursting for him to play on is own

Don't feel guilty!

 

[bonny]

Make the most of it, it doesnt last. Soon they want you to play with them all the time once they start crawling they follow you everywhere. I cant even go to the toilet without the screeming fit. Honestly you would think id packed my bags and was ready to leave for good.

 

[moss]

To be honest, I feel conflicted about it. I want him to be able to be on his own so I can shower. I can't go to the toilet either without him screaming. But every once in a while he will sit for up to ten minutes (usually half that, though). You would think I might be relieved, but I never am! I just feel sad seeing him sit there! Jacob doesn't even sleep without being held, so maybe I just need to adjust to it.

 

[Bee]

He's fine honest. He should be getting more indepandant as he gets older anyway

 

[Sherlock]

I think you'll get used to it soon enough. TBH babies being able to entertain themselves for a little while isn't a bad thing. Its supposed to be good that a baby can sit and play with things without you actually being involved or saying anything, just being present to help reassure them. So as he gets older him doing his own thing for a bit every now and again is a good thing.

I've had Galen able to amuse himself since he was small. He used to be able to spend up to an hour at a time in his basket with his mobile and just looking round. I left him to it. As he got older he of course needed to be sat or put elsewhere but he will still get on and do stuff without needing me right there. He is focused on what he is doing and is happy. Its all learning for him and you can see him really enjoying playing with the utensils in his tub.

He gets loads of face to face and interaction time with us also. I never carried him as I wasn't able to and for a while it bugged me but seeing him now I know he is a happy baby and progressing really well. That he is able to amuse himself for periods of time is great as it gives me a break from his other demands.

I'd just try to relax about things with him. It isn't easy but if he is happy for 10 minutes sat in his nest then go enjoy your shower and don't feel guilty or think he is lonely.

 

[purplebluered]

I used to feel guilty - I'd feel that I wasn't being the best I could be to him by leaving him to play by himself...dunno why, but that was how I felt! Now I can leave him on his playmat for up to 30 mins, when he's in the right frame of mind. Thankfully, that right frame of mind is very usually right after his first feed of the day, so I usually go and have a shower then. Its very useful, and I can get on with bits and bobs throughout the day if I can leave him for 10 mins here and 10 mins there. I just think of it as - I wouldn't want someone in my face ALL day playing with me and overstimulating me - babies need their quiet times too. tbh it was only in the last month we've been able to do it like this now he is focusing a lot more on things and able to hold things, etc. And I hope it continues when he's older...I like my showers!

 

[Tadpole]

I used to feel guilty - I'd feel that I wasn't being the best I could be to him by leaving him to play by himself...dunno why, but that was how I felt! Now I can leave him on his playmat for up to 30 mins, when he's in the right frame of mind. Thankfully, that right frame of mind is very usually right after his first feed of the day, so I usually go and have a shower then. Its very useful, and I can get on with bits and bobs throughout the day if I can leave him for 10 mins here and 10 mins there. I just think of it as - I wouldn't want someone in my face ALL day playing with me and overstimulating me - babies need their quiet times too. tbh it was only in the last month we've been able to do it like this now he is focusing a lot more on things and able to hold things, etc. And I hope it continues when he's older...I like my showers!

This is the same with Olivia - mornings are the only time I know I can get stuff done. She has a feed, then is quite happy playing by herself for a bit while I have a shower and a run round the flat tidying up. Then she is usually ready for a quick top-up feed then has a nap while I have 'quiet time' to myself. The rest of the day we are either out or if we are in she wants my constant attention anyway.

 

[Squiglet]

Psssf...mummy's get boring or so lil miss leads me to believe He won't play alone for long and you don't exactly flash lights and play tunes when he hits you... Don't worry children that play alone for some part of the day apparently have better imaginations than children that have been constantly occupied.

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

I used to feel guilty - I'd feel that I wasn't being the best I could be to him by leaving him to play by himself...dunno why, but that was how I felt! Now I can leave him on his playmat for up to 30 mins, when he's in the right frame of mind. Thankfully, that right frame of mind is very usually right after his first feed of the day, so I usually go and have a shower then. Its very useful, and I can get on with bits and bobs throughout the day if I can leave him for 10 mins here and 10 mins there. I just think of it as - I wouldn't want someone in my face ALL day playing with me and overstimulating me - babies need their quiet times too. tbh it was only in the last month we've been able to do it like this now he is focusing a lot more on things and able to hold things, etc. And I hope it continues when he's older...I like my showers!

This is the same with Olivia - mornings are the only time I know I can get stuff done. She has a feed, then is quite happy playing by herself for a bit while I have a shower and a run round the flat tidying up. Then she is usually ready for a quick top-up feed then has a nap while I have 'quiet time' to myself. The rest of the day we are either out or if we are in she wants my constant attention anyway.

Same with me Collier can entertain him self ok in the morning so i can have breakfast but as the day progresses not a chance he need constant attention stimulation he gets bored sooooooo easily

dont feel guilty i used to feel this way but sometimes we just have to leave them to play we have to do things like make food and eat