Feeling down - how much have you spent? UPDATED WITH LIST!!

[pigletpoo]

Hey, How much money have you spent so far on your baby?
And how much do you reckon all the bits will cost all together?

I have lost count of the amount I have spent so far, and when I asked for some money off OH because I needed some more stuff, he gave me £100 and said "Some change would be nice"

What planet is he on? When I told him I had spent the £100 yesterday and needed more, he wanted to know exactly what i had spent it on!

I'm going to make a list today and add up everything I have bought so far to show him tonight, but whats the matter with him? I'm doing my best to get bargains off ebay, but I have spent hundreds.

Piglet xx

 

[Nic'n'Keeley]

Aw hun

Make the list of stuff you have brought already
then make another one of stuff you stil need

That mite help him... he wil have to realise baby's aren't cheap.. just wait til the baby gets here that's even more money on nappies and milk every week.

Are you entitled to anythin...from the goverment which could help?

 

[Snuggle]

We have spent a fortune so far...at the very least £2000! Will add it all up later and see

 

[OopsyDaisy]

So far, I haven't bought a single baby item yet! And I'm almost in the 3rd trimester!
I've been meaning to, but then I worry that I haven't done enough research or compared enough between all the different brands, so put it off.
This weekend gone, I've written out a list of all the things I need to buy, and now I need to write down which brand and from store to buy it from. Feel so unprepared!

 

[Josephine_Beth]

Maybe he is just watching the pennies, he may feel that you are spending too much too quick or not involving him and he feels a little left out?

Maybe, before buying, show him what it is e.g. ‘honey, I think this would be ideal for us and the baby, it’s a bargain at £…………, what do you think?’

He may lay off questioning you then.

So far, I have spent nothing! Well, £1.25 on the appointments and £3.00 on Lactalins but so far, we’re holding off buying until 2 months before. I’m really worried, you see, it’s a lot more expensive out here in Cyprus than in the UK for baby things

 

[topbird]

We have probably spent about £1500 in total and almost have all the essential big stuff.

but you don't need to spend that much. NCT nearly new sales, ebay and car boot sales are great places to pick up bargains!

 

[X5OT]

So far, all we have spent is deposit for bugaboo (they were throwing in the car seat for free at the baby show last week, so seemed like a no-brainer and the deposit is 100% refundable if needed), money for the nuchal screening, and about £200 on maternity clothes. The next bits will probably be more clothes for me, and the 3D 4D scan at 27 weeks. Then we'll start buying other stuff for the baby about week 30/32 I guess.

It's an expensive business!

 

[kimmumof2]

i havent spent too much so far and only got a few things left to buy but im lucky as i have a lot leftr over from reanna so only got to get up to date things like bought a new pram and buying a new cot and things like clothes and a steriliser but i remember the first time round it was soooo expensive but i also had a lot of help from family who all insisted on buying a big item each which i was thankful of.

xxxxxxx

 

[Anna B]

We have probably spent about £40!!!!

We have only gotten a few bits of baby clothes so far. My Mum treated me to my maternity clothes a month or so back now, so that was one expense spared. Our cot will be coming from Mum too, as she has a lovely one in the attic, all turned, dark wood (will go very well with our other furniture) and we are looking for a travel system on ebay. We are on quite a tight budget really, so trying to get as many bargains as possible!

 

[pigletpoo]

I have tried involving him, I have tried talking to him, but he says it's a womans place to buy the baby things and he is not interested!

He is on day 9 without cigarettes, so maybe thats making him worse. As a non smoker I find it hard to see how someone can get so grumpy through that tho.

When I add it all up later I'll let you know how much so far...

Piglet xx

 

[Snuggle]

A womans place to buy baby things? Give him a slap He is obviously struggling with stopping smoking, it is really hard to do I must admit. I tried several times before eventually succeeding and everyone who crossed my path in the first week or so got screamed at Just try be patient with him and when he starts to feel better about not having a fag he will stop being grumpy

 

[Josephine_Beth]

I gave up smoking when I found out I was pregnant put I was put off by cigs, so no biggy for me. Nicotine is like an addictive drug but it’s all in the mind really but he should be grumpy with you.
If he complains again when you ask, just say to him politely;

Honey, this baby is ‘ours’, you have previously said before that it’s a woman’s thing to buy what is needed, why do you complain when I ask?

Mind you I am very forward and my fella has quickly learnt not to cross a pregnant woman lol

Good luck though xx

Basically put it to him..........you made your bed,lie in it!

 

[Keely]

I spent about £900 on ellis myself and df and MIL bought the buggy £150.

Nothing on this baby, its living on hand me downs haha.

xxxxx

 

[Nicola]

Do you know we have spent thousands (I'm not kidding) on everything from kitting out the nursery (cotbed, matress, changing station, wardrobe, bookcase etc, etc, etc) to the hundreds spent in Mamas & Papas getting things like the curtains, bedding, wallpaper border, curtain tie backs, lightshade. Then things like a rug for the floor, a few books, toys and accessories, photo frames etc. I know I've spent hundreds on his clothing (spoiled I tell ya!) and then there are the nappies, wipes, creams etc we have started stocking up on, the sterilsing unit, breastpump, the moses basket and bedding, £500 went on the pram alone then the matching accessories (bag and parasol) were another £75, adding in the highchair, baby walker, the baby bath, bath support, saftey bits like the blanks you get for the plug sockets, the baby monitors etc, the car seat, outdoor play mats.......OMG my list goes on and on and on. We have seriously spent in the thousands...and he's not even here yet.

Tell your OH that he'd be lucky if he gets change out of £1000, let alone a measley £100, that wouldn't even by the cot matress if you go for a decent one that will last comfortably!! I'd hate to be questioned on what I've spent money on, least of all when I can never remember and that it's for the baby!!

 

[FeeFee]

Erm we're not doing too bad i don't think, DH certainly isn't stopping me from buying in fact he's a bloody nightmare when we go to asda or tesco he's always got to come away with something even if its a pair of booties

We also have to start from fresh as i don't have anything from DD except her first babygro as i never thought i would fall pregnant again,

Travel system £229
Crib £49.99
Isofix base £99
B/Fing set £49.99

I guess when you start adding up clothes, nappies and the personal killer for me bedding!!! it does start to add up but i do a few things every couple of weeks and it hasn't really hit us that hard....... yet

 

[pigletpoo]

Baby Items Itinerary

Pram £395.00
Cozy Toes £29.99
Car seat and base £100.00
Cot £70.00
Mattress £30.00
Bath £7.99
Top and tail bowl £2.99
Moses basket £23.00
Stand £12.50
Crib £28.00
Crib Mattress £10.00
Crib Bedding £24.99
Cot Bedding £17.99
Blankets £24.00
Sheets £11.00
Curtains £10.00
Steriliser £29.99
Baby Bottles £19.98
Bottle warmer £14.50
Towels £14.99
Clothes (up to 6 months) £263.65
Maternity Clothes £182.99
Bibs £16
Cot Mobile £20
Bouncy Chair £10
Vibrating Chair £5
Dummies £6
Changing mat £6.99
Nappy Bin £14.99
Nappies £9.99
Rattles/toys £18.00
Bath Support £7
Travel Cot £29.99
Baby Carrier £29.99
Cat Net £4.99
Toiletries £40.00
Changing Bag £15.00
Breast pads £4.99
Baby Monitor £50.00
Sun Shades £3.99
Pampers £7.00
Gender scan £75.00

Total £1698.47



And he gave me £100 and wanted change!! We had a huge row, and looks like it could be the end for us. But I've had enough now.

Piglet xx

 

[alfie]

Piglet poo, how's things? Really sorry to hear you've had a big row. I found that after i had our first child my husband got very down about money, it was all about being able to provide for us and all the responsibility that comes with that. He was ok with the second one but we were financially much better off by then.

I'm certainly not making excuses for him but maybe its the hunter gatherer thing! Of course he might feel like money is the only thing he has any control over at the mo.

Hope you make up!

Alfie

 

[Josephine_Beth]

I am sorry to hear that! But don’t give up easy; you seem to have gone on the cheap side. One of those cots that you can turn into a bed that last up til the child is 5yrs old is never under £350 here, that would put it to £400 GBP, that’s the really cheap plastic type ones. A Moses basic isn’t under £50.00 cyp, which is about £70 GBP here and those sterilizer bottle things won’t come under £50 Cyp, it’s hard to go on the cheap, if you do I reckon I’d spend more than a cheap shopping spree in the UK.

Have you both tried going to a councillor to discuss this further? Or having a 3rd person as a mediator to sound you both out? Money is stressful at the best of times but if he is not willing to compromise then it’s not fair to you. You’ve said you have tried involving him and he refused to join in and you have gone on the cheap and you are still arguing, you need to talk this out.

Good luck xx

 

[Nicola]

Do you know I think it's a great list and for just £1600 too!! Bargain, he's getting a good deal I can tell you that for nothing, I should sit and write the same list really, see what ours comes out to....mind you I think DH would be like if I showed him the total to date!!

Sorry your arguing over money, it's one of the biggest things couples tend to row over. I agree with Josephine that perhaps councilling might be a way forward for you? Bringing a baby into the world is hard, money issues only make it harder, perhaps try resolving one before the other arrives? I hope it all goes ok for you - don't let money put an end to your relationship!!

 

[Nicola]

Total £1698.47

Ok I've just been down your list and added up what I spent on everything you have and not added on any of the other things we have bought and it's coming out at £4508 (and some of that was deals like buying the whole steriliser kit with bottles etc so 1 puchase instead of 2 etc) so honestly tell your OH he's got a bloody good bargain with you doing the shopping....he'd have a nervous break down if he was paying for my lot!!