Feeling Deflated over baby nane

[BecciBooo]

I'm 28 weeks with my first and expecting a baby boy.

Tristan has always been my favorite boys name and I was over the moon when my partner also loved it, we both wanted a name that wasn't very common. We have settled on Tristan David (my grandad is called David).

We decided to tell people our choice of name but we have mostly had a negative reaction; my mum really doesn't like it and keeps saying I can still change my mind. I'm starting to get quite upset by some of the things people say, I love the name and I have been calling my bump Tristan since we found out we were having a boy.

 

[babyscotcher]

Both sets of parents didn't like our name. He is now nearly 3 years old and everyone loves his name and cannot think of him being anything else.

Go with what you and your partner want and everyone else will either get used to it or they will find their own nickname to call him by.

 

[GBLiz]

this is why its best not to tell people until after the birth....they always have an opinion!!! I have mentioned our possible choice to a few friends to check it out but not to any family members......

I think Tristan is a fine name- not that common- but still a 'proper' name - i only know one Tristan.....they will just have to get used to it! Although i'm not sure why its getting a negative reaction ?

 

[Loveandpeace]

Im expecting my first any day now and Ive learned that next time round I wont be running by any names to anyone!
We are team yellow so dont know the gender but we like Maverick for a boys name (we love the meaning plus my Grandfathers name Eric is in there) and a lot of peoples reactions are as if we are joking!
Yes people will always have opinions and may or may not hide them so its always best to just go with a name YOU love and not give a toss about what anyone thinks. Not every single person will like your name choice but people generally always come round to liking it!

I think Tristan is a fine,strong name btw!

 

[Shepherdess]

don't let people get you down. I haven't told people out name choice as I know people would give opinions and it would annoy me. my mum is desperate for me to name DD2 after her but I'm not. I have told her that but she keeps annoying me by whispering to my daughter that we should name the baby after her. DD1 does know our name choice but thankfully hasn't told anyone yet. just ignore anyone being negative and be firm that you've made your mind up

 

[CARNAT22]

My family, pretty much all of them, didn't like our name choice for 3rd baby.

I adore her name, and don't give a monkeys what everyone else thinks.

Stand your ground.

X

 

[Shanivy]

Same with me. With my daughter we knew we wanted Ivy and it really pissed me off when certain family gave negative reactions. Which by the way is super rude, I'd never tell someone I didn't like their name, even if I didn't! With this one nobody knows her name.

When this baby gets here they'll need to use it whether they like it or not. Tristan is a lovely name so go for it, who cares what the family think. It's your little baby and tough shit for them xx

 

[claire_louise9]

That's why I didn't and haven't this time around told any family members the names . As long as you like them who cares what the rest thinks. As soon as they see the baby they won't be thinking about the name that you have given.

I'm also 28 weeks why don't you come over and join the may mummies thread , more the merrier x

 

[Donna88]

I think the name Tristan is lovely (not that it matters what I think it's what you and your partner think that's important)

Easier said than done, but don't let other people bother you. If I were you'd I'd either stop using the name in front of them or just keep saying it - either way don't get into any discussions about the name as you've chosen it and that's that.


People didn't like my little boys name when I was pregnant either and now he's here people just say what a lovely name it is. I think people have an idea of what kind of name you may choose and when it doesn't fit their idea and you haven't had the baby yet it seems okay to them to say they don't like it - which I never understand I'd never tell someone I didn't like their name choice :/ but people aren't quite as vocal once the baby is here.

When we have another we will either keep the name to ourselves until little one is here, or just be prepared for the rude comments and be ready to ignore them. Don't let this ruin the special time you are going through right now

 

[KHTW]

Tristan is a lovely name! Don't pay attention to what others say, your baby=your choice x

 

[Jamie.d]

When you finally decide on a name you both like, it just sort of clicks and you're both grinning ear to ear because you love it! It's the best feeling ever! it makes it so exciting and gives the little person in your belly their identity almost! it isn't nice when people ruin that excitement

Tell them how much you both love the name and how happy you were to finally have chosen one and that they're sucking the fun out of one of the best bits for you, I'm sure they'll understand! People are sometimes pushy and don't realize how they hurt feelings x

We had the same but we stuck to it and basically told them they had no choice and they now apparently all love it! we know they don't but no one else matters! They won't be doing the night feeds an endless nappy changes! picking the name is a privilege that comes with being the parents!

 

[MissKW]

I think unfortunately this is the case a lot of the time.
Myself and hubby found it really difficult to come up with a name, when we finally did and people asked us what it was the look of disappointment on their face was completely unexpected and I also started to doubt our choice.
All family on my side hate it, MIL and her family hate it also. They are forever telling us we might change our minds, ask if we have thought of any others yet etc (I'm 37weeks!). The only people who seem to like it are my hubbys dad and grandad.
We wanted an uncommon English name that didn't sound too old, there are lots we like but most over used, the one we chose we don't know of anybody with the name, and we both like it. Every time we go to see my MIL she tells me she has seen that its welsh or that it sounds irish etc. From research all I can find is that its English and that's good enough for me. She also tries telling us to name our son after family members on her side that we don't even know...
On the other hand, all the names these family members suggest we hate and even sound silly to us, peoples opinions differ greatly but I don't understand why they cant just be happy with our choice.
I personally love Tristan as a name, the first time I heard it was when I first came across the film Stardust and I loved it from then on. It was one of the top names on list but hubby didn't like it lol.
Just ignore people, they should keep opinions to themselves and be more supportive. I couldn't imagine ever telling somebody I disliked their choice of name and I think people are selfish for trying to talk their own name ideas onto you rather than accepting what you like.

 

[BecciBooo]

I think unfortunately this is the case a lot of the time.
Myself and hubby found it really difficult to come up with a name, when we finally did and people asked us what it was the look of disappointment on their face was completely unexpected and I also started to doubt our choice.
All family on my side hate it, MIL and her family hate it also. They are forever telling us we might change our minds, ask if we have thought of any others yet etc (I'm 37weeks!). The only people who seem to like it are my hubbys dad and grandad.
We wanted an uncommon English name that didn't sound too old, there are lots we like but most over used, the one we chose we don't know of anybody with the name, and we both like it. Every time we go to see my MIL she tells me she has seen that its welsh or that it sounds irish etc. From research all I can find is that its English and that's good enough for me. She also tries telling us to name our son after family members on her side that we don't even know...
On the other hand, all the names these family members suggest we hate and even sound silly to us, peoples opinions differ greatly but I don't understand why they cant just be happy with our choice.
I personally love Tristan as a name, the first time I heard it was when I first came across the film Stardust and I loved it from then on. It was one of the top names on list but hubby didn't like it lol.
Just ignore people, they should keep opinions to themselves and be more supportive. I couldn't imagine ever telling somebody I disliked their choice of name and I think people are selfish for trying to talk their own name ideas onto you rather than accepting what you like.

I forgot it was the name of the guy in Stardust also I fell in love with it the first time I saw Legends of the Fall (very old Brad Pitt Film) but its also from Arthurian legend too as he was said to be one of the knights of the round table. I love it more though now because of Stardust, I love that film

 

[namegrams]

I like Tristan.

 

[BunnyN]

I think Tristan is lovely.

I found naming our three one of the hardest thing about having a baby. It's hard enough to come up with a name you both like but really that's what matters. You are never going to please everyone.

 

[Sunflower1]

The fact that you love it is all that really matters. Tristan is a lovely name.

 

[russellmuscle]

Just like arseholes, everyone has an opinion.

If you share your name, people will sometimes feel the need to share whether they like it or not and that is ok too? I don't like every name I like but then I also don't find the need to give my opinion on the name unless asked.

You aren't naming your child for the benefit of everyone else and their preferences - so tell them to mind their own business and if they have a ghastly name then point that out to them. Soon see a fair few shutting up.

I am an upfront honest person that would have a reply but then we didn't share the name until he was born - not because opinions, just due to the fact I didn't want anyone else using it and there was a fair few boys due at that time.

My parents haven't liked either of the boys names on first hearing them - but they couldn't imagine them being named anything else now.

Call your baby what you like and give everyone else the finger. It is easy to get sensitive about these things, hormones don't help but I genuinely don't think kids are gonna be caring what he is called and IMO that would be my main focus - if other kids etc would pick on him for his name and given Tristan isnt the most out there or worst then I don't think so. He wont be the first or last Tristan to have walked the world.

xxxx

 

[BabyWomble]

I have 3 girl names on my list with only 1 approved of by family and 1 boys name that my brother actually laughed at and asked if I was joking! I’ve decided not to tell them them until baby is born now as I find it quite insulting! Wouldn’t mind but their choice of names were unusual and I passed no comment when they told us!

 

[LuckyLaura]

Hey I totally get what u mean. Its hard when your family start insulting the name and pestering you constantly. And altho you can just be like screw it, it's our choice it's still hard to filter out their comments.

With this being our first we had been looking at names one day and my mum (who we are temporarily living with) walked in and asked what we were up to... Naively thinking what harm could it do we told her that we were looking at names and had a few options. Told her the options especially what our favourite one was which was Jasmine, and she has since then decided to hound me about how she doesn't like it, propose other names, say how it's "common", and just last night I got a text saying its "chavvy". (yes she texts me when we live in the same house it's ridiculous) She just won't leave it alone. Another option is coincidentally my aunts name, but we just like the name, but then my mum went ahead and told my aunt we might name the baby after her... Uuughhh haha. So now my aunt is super excited and tbh I don't think it's gonna be that name haha

We chose jasmine cuz we love it but also because my husband is Indian and its a name in his culture too. It was hard finding a name that translated well across 3 languages haha His family all love it but my family are making right annoyances of themselves.

As a result we have shut down all baby name conversations with my mum and if she asks if we have a name we just say not sure yet and dismiss it. She'll be told the baby name when they're slapping it on the birth certificate and if she doesn't like it she can lump it. Haha xx

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[Red_eric]

For what it’s worth, I think Jasmine is a really pretty name. I share your pain at having to find a name that crosses languages and cultures - my husband is from Barcelona and we want a name that his parents can pronounce but that will also work here.