littlesmoosh
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- Nov 8, 2011
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hey guys! just feeling a little bit blue just now. thought id vent on here!
im so happy and excited about becoming a mum so please dont think im not, but theres just so much stress right now!
ive had a really back backache the last few days (think its just a trapped nerve, but its so sore!) so ive not been sleeping very well so thats been making me really grumpy.
we live on the top floor of a flat and i just cant handle the stairs anymore, its just so tiring. almost everytime i walk up them i have to stop halfway for a little while, and im only 23 weeks gone! cant help thinking what im gunna be like at 40 weeks!!!
our landlord came by to complain that our neighbour thinks we make too much noise! which i think is rediculas, its just me and my otherhalf in the house, and i really dont think we're loud at all! we play music, but its never blaring! cant help but think that my neighbour is gunna have a fit when the screaming baby comes!!!
that brings me onto my flat situation. we moved in in december but its only a 6 month lease. didnt mention back then that i was pregnant but now starting to think we'll have to ask landlord if thats okay or not before we renew the lease. the lease ends on the 31st of june.. im due on the 1st of july! the flat is lovely but its small we hardly have space for our own things let alone the babies! so it looks like the best option might be to move.. again! so starting to stress about that!
euan (my otherhalf) and me are as strong as ever. he is nothing but supportive of both me and the baby. he really is a godsend! but i cant help but think im gunna lose him. we've always had a really passionate relationship but now our sex life has really calmed down due to how much effort it is to do it!! the bumps getting bigger.. and im tired.. and im so dry downstairs (sorry for the overshare). i just feel like less of a woman. i couldnt want him more as well, feels like he just gets better looking by the day and i just become more repulsive!! he says thats not the case obviously, but you know what its like girls, once you get something in your head its hard to shake the thought!
also feeling like i have a bit of cabin fever, ive not been visiting friends as much as i should be, and our flats not in the centre of town anymore, so no one really comes up to see me. i work in a nightclub and i see so many people i know out having a good time and even though im not missing drinking or partying and things like that, i am missing company. i feel like such a bore! but im just so tired all the time that i dont make the effort i should! its like a vicious circle!
and then of course there is the never-ending money worries!!! euan still hasnt found a job, he got offered one at halifax but couldnt take it cause its fulltime and hes at uni! so money is tight.
just feel like ive lost alot of confidence in myself. when i first found out i was pregnant i thought i could handle it. ive always been a strong person. but its alot harder than i imagined it would be. sometimes i think if i cant cope with pregnancy then how will i ever cope with parenthood?!
i want to be a good mum and a good partner to euan, but cant help but get myself worked up alot these days.
sorry for the long one girls, just needed to get it off my chest. euan knows all my worries, but sometimes i feel like i might be a bit too much for him. so il give him a wee rest and vent here instead!xx
im so happy and excited about becoming a mum so please dont think im not, but theres just so much stress right now!
ive had a really back backache the last few days (think its just a trapped nerve, but its so sore!) so ive not been sleeping very well so thats been making me really grumpy.
we live on the top floor of a flat and i just cant handle the stairs anymore, its just so tiring. almost everytime i walk up them i have to stop halfway for a little while, and im only 23 weeks gone! cant help thinking what im gunna be like at 40 weeks!!!
our landlord came by to complain that our neighbour thinks we make too much noise! which i think is rediculas, its just me and my otherhalf in the house, and i really dont think we're loud at all! we play music, but its never blaring! cant help but think that my neighbour is gunna have a fit when the screaming baby comes!!!
that brings me onto my flat situation. we moved in in december but its only a 6 month lease. didnt mention back then that i was pregnant but now starting to think we'll have to ask landlord if thats okay or not before we renew the lease. the lease ends on the 31st of june.. im due on the 1st of july! the flat is lovely but its small we hardly have space for our own things let alone the babies! so it looks like the best option might be to move.. again! so starting to stress about that!
euan (my otherhalf) and me are as strong as ever. he is nothing but supportive of both me and the baby. he really is a godsend! but i cant help but think im gunna lose him. we've always had a really passionate relationship but now our sex life has really calmed down due to how much effort it is to do it!! the bumps getting bigger.. and im tired.. and im so dry downstairs (sorry for the overshare). i just feel like less of a woman. i couldnt want him more as well, feels like he just gets better looking by the day and i just become more repulsive!! he says thats not the case obviously, but you know what its like girls, once you get something in your head its hard to shake the thought!
also feeling like i have a bit of cabin fever, ive not been visiting friends as much as i should be, and our flats not in the centre of town anymore, so no one really comes up to see me. i work in a nightclub and i see so many people i know out having a good time and even though im not missing drinking or partying and things like that, i am missing company. i feel like such a bore! but im just so tired all the time that i dont make the effort i should! its like a vicious circle!
and then of course there is the never-ending money worries!!! euan still hasnt found a job, he got offered one at halifax but couldnt take it cause its fulltime and hes at uni! so money is tight.
just feel like ive lost alot of confidence in myself. when i first found out i was pregnant i thought i could handle it. ive always been a strong person. but its alot harder than i imagined it would be. sometimes i think if i cant cope with pregnancy then how will i ever cope with parenthood?!
i want to be a good mum and a good partner to euan, but cant help but get myself worked up alot these days.
sorry for the long one girls, just needed to get it off my chest. euan knows all my worries, but sometimes i feel like i might be a bit too much for him. so il give him a wee rest and vent here instead!xx
