Feel a bit down now...

[jarjar7]

Just got back from the docs...got to have a blood test and a scan. I know in a way its a good thing but now I just feel really down, even cried a bit on my way back, must have looked like a right weirdo!
She seemed really nice and said the usual things, bd more, look out for signs of ov, take folic acid etc but she wants to do the scan and blood test cos of the pains I get really low down, where my ovaries are. The reason I feel so down is because I went through all that last year, had to have a laparoscopy and a hysteroscopy and I was told everything was perfect. But now I have to go through tests again and I dont know if I've got it in me to deal with it all. I know its only been 5 months TTC and there are people in far worse situations than me so I feel really bad being down and moaning about it but why is it that when you want something so much you dont end up getting it or have to go through so much crap to get it?! It also puts me in a bad situation at work cos I dont know how they'll be if they know I'm TTC and after all the time off I had to have last year with the ops it wont be good if I have to have more off this year.
I dont know, just why can't it be easy? I wish my OH was more supportive and wanted this as much as I do but he just goes with the flow so I feel like I'm going through it all on my own...
Sorry for the long post, just got so much on my mind...
xxxxx

 

[SmallPurpleCat]

Sorry you're feeling down

It's crap that you have to go through all the tests but hopefully it will help in the long run.

SPC xx

 

[peachypam]

Try to look at it as a positive thing. know its hard.We have been ttc for over a year and I am making a docs appointment this week so will probably have to go throught the same thing as you.I know what you mean about your OH.Mine is very supportive but fails to see the urgency (I am 35 and he is 41).He just keeps saying it will happen if I calm down!Good luck doll and keep your chin up.Tell yourself you are a healthy young woman and there is no reason you cannot have the baby you want so much.I am trying to adopt this attitude as I have read it really helps!
As for your work...I'm sure there are other people going through similar problems...it's just that people don't talk about it.Just go with the flow and try not to worry what people may say.

 

[Mrs_B]

Try not to feel too upset hun. I know it will be hard having the tests again. But look at it from a positive perspective. You have a doctor that listens and is helping you. I hope the outcome is good and puts you on track for a bfp.

 

[PinkPunch]

jarjar i really feel it for your hun. sometimes all this ttc gets on top of us doesnt it

 

[xXxBonnyxXx]

Aw hun I had the blood test and scan last year and they came back ok,
You don't have to tell people at work that you are TTC - just tell them that you have appointments - they do not need to know what it is for, I didn't tell my boss what it was for - I just told him that I have to go to a doctors appointment.

Can you maybe sit down with OH and explain to him that you would like a bit more support with things?

 

[karenandbump]

Hon, so sorry u r feeling like this - the tests are a good thing - and most likely put your mind at rest - really good that your doctor wasn't just dismissive. Keep going - it will be worth it in the end xxx

 

[jarjar7]

Thanks Ladies, you all are really helpful. I'm starting to feel a bit better cos as I said in my original post, its just the thought of having to go through it all again. I am definitely trying to think positively and take things as they come but its so painful, wanting a child/family so much and with every month that passes feeling like its never going to happen.
I would try and talk to my OH but I know exactly what he'd say, 'it will happen for us, calm down, dont get upset'...either that or he'll just clam up and we'll end up rowing...I dont think he thought it would actually take 'work' to get PG and he just wants to have sex and get me pregnant...obviously it isn't going to happen like that for us...
xxxxx

 

[fairydust1984]

hope you feel better soon at least the doctors are prepared to do tests they won't even consider near me until you have been trying for a year xx

 

[jarjar7]

I think to be honest Fairydust she is only doing them cos I'm still getting the pain, my periods have changed for no apparent reason and they dont have any records of last years op etc cos I'm new to the surgery and it was done privately through my work so they want some stuff for their records. She did say to me that they wouldn't do actual fertility testing until we had been trying for at least a year.
xxxx

 

[PinkPunch]

I think to be honest Fairydust she is only doing them cos I'm still getting the pain, my periods have changed for no apparent reason and they dont have any records of last years op etc cos I'm new to the surgery and it was done privately through my work so they want some stuff for their records. She did say to me that they wouldn't do actual fertility testing until we had been trying for at least a year.
xxxx

well hopefully once they find out whats causing the pain you will get that sorted and wont need any fertility treatment anyway x

 

[fairydust1984]

at least if they sort the pain out the ttc might come right as well good luck xx

 

[bidsy]

Hi hun sorry your down, im having tests done on the 11th n think i will have to have a laparoscopy but if it helps us then im happy to have them done. It must be hard having them done again but it will help in the long run im sure. My OH is so laid back too he said I was obsessed and should forget about it cause it will happen n not to worry, im not optimistic but sometimes I wish I was mor like him.
Good luck xxx

 

[jarjar7]

Bidsy, my OH is a nightmare if I'm being honest. Well, no, he's not a nightmare but he's just like yours, keeps saying 'it'll happen, dont worry, you're obsessed' etc...I just dont think he realises how TTC makes me feel. Its something I've wanted for so long and seems constantly just out of reach.
I agree ladies, hopefully it will sort everything out but its just so frustrating that I dont know when I'm OV exactly and he has this low sex drive so its not like we will be bding all the time to cover all bases. We have agreed to wait til June til we start doing OPK's etc so I'm trying to stay positive and optimistic but it always feels like its just one thing after the other, all resulting in the same thing, no baby for me.
xxxxx

 

[kellie0215]

I got some fertility test from amazon
I know they arnt 100% but give me hope!
good luck
fx

 

[jarjar7]

Good luck hun! Hope its your month!!
xxx