Fed up

[Sunflower1]

Another month and my temp has dropped right down to AF levels on day 28 so Iguess I'm about to get AF. I'm starting to lose hope. I'm 42 this year and have been trying at this for years (although I've only just got anywhere in the range of a healthy BMI). I'm too old for NHS fertility treatment and we can't afford private. The basic blood tests were all fine and my cycle is fine. Am trying to encourage my OH to lose weight but it's not easy.

Each month it gets more disappointing. How do you long timers cope?

 

[DeeDeeAbi]

Ah, sorry Sunflower. Have you looked into acupuncture? Xx

 

[twinkle_toes]

I second the acupuncture. It worked the first time I fell pregnant. I am giving it a go again xx


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[lillith112]

I started ttc at 42, I'm 45 this August, one mc last September. I have to say that I have just about had enough, today I decided no more vitamins, no opks. I am sick to death of the disappointment every single month. I'm done with it all x

 

[Salley]

I'm not a terribly long timer in the grand scheme of things, 11months of actively trying and going on 3 years just dtd whenever. It definitely gets tough, I've been going through a "dry spell" with my OH. It's extremely disheartening and leaves me with thoughts of "will this ever happen?". Just have to keep your head up and keep trying because you'll never have an answer to that question if you don't try.

Best of luck, sweetheart. Stay strong.

 

[candymycandy]

I'd also recommend looking into Mayan massage. And I second acupuncture, it helped one of my friends x

 

[MoominGirl]

Also not a really long timer in the grand scheme of things, no contraception for over 2 years, 'officially' trying for just under a year. But yes, it seems to get more disheartening with every month. It's difficult to hold on to the hope that your time will come when it seems to come easily to everyone else.

I'm also reducing the amount of monitoring I'm doing. It just doesn't seem to add anything other than something else to remember. All basic tests are fine so I know I'm ovulating so I'm just going to carry on with the OPKs to help me pinpoint when just so I know we're covering the most important days. I'm not saying the monitoring wasn't useful for a short time just to get to know my cycle better but now I don't think there's any real benefit.

Me and OH have now declared a 'date' night every month. I think we're very lucky that our relationship still feels strong as it's so easy for TTC to tear couples apart. Hopefully this will help keep it that way and set aside time just for us as it's so easy just to get caught up in life. I also try and book things to look forward to (days out, weekend away).

I've been having reflexology which I've been enjoying. Again, it gives me something to look forward to and a chance to chill out and relax. My reflexologist specialises in fertility so hopefully it will help but I'm enjoying the relaxation benefits if nothing else! I'm also looking into acupuncture a bit more.

Hope it all works out for you.

 

[Sunflower1]

Thanks for the recommendations. I think I might try accupuncture at some point. The mayan massage sounds interesting.

Lillith, it's so hard. Sorry you are fed up with it too. So sorry about your miscarriage too. Hugs.

Salley, I can relate. We went through a dry spell for much of the last 6 months due to my OH's health problems, and we still struggle to manage once during the fertile window. It does make it even more difficult. After a while it can turn into a chore too...it's hard to relax and just enjoy it!

Moomingirl, I do so much monitoring and have also been thinking about dialling it back. Once you know your cycle it's not really necessary. That's good that your relationship is still strong. It can put so much stress on couples. I love reflexology. Didn't know you could have it for fertility. It is sooo relaxing.

Thanks all for the support. Feeling more positive today...still have half a stone to lose before my BMI is 'normal' so hopefully I will get more fertile every month. xx