I have been finding that as my pregnancy progresses, I have been getting more and more fearful. I have recently posted about irrational anxiety and was really thankful for the responses perhaps my feelings and fears are not so weird or abnormal!
My worst fears at the moment are that I will not be a good mum that I wont look at my baby and feel that huge rush of love that everyone keeps on telling me about (and they do....a lot!) or even worse, that my baby will not love or like me. I am worried that Ill not be able to breastfeed, which is something that I really want to do. Its made worse by my MILs view that those who say they cant breastfeed arent trying hard enough! I am concerned that when the baby is born, my partner (I am in a same sex relationship) will take over the parenting and leave me like an empty, shrivelled up prune and Ill lose the special connection that I have with the baby at the moment.
I guess a lot of this is bound up with my feelings of a loss of identity and even a loss of control I cant think of a way to get back to feeling more positive about myself, my partner and my pregnancy. Its starting to impact upon the joy that I feel about my baby and the experience of being pregnant. I have taken the last couple of days off work to try to re-connect with myself and my bump and I think its helpful just being able to write some of my feelings down, although Im still feeling pretty overwhelmed. I have been crying a lot, but not really being able to identify why as well as feeling cross and anxious a great deal of the time. I then get cross with myself for not being happy for the baby thinking that it must impact...arrrrggghhhhhhh!
Its been a long, complicated and emotional journey becoming pregnant as two women and I am desperate to get back to enjoying the last weeks of my pregnancy and being excited about the arrival of our long wanted and awaited baby. Any ideas or advice greatly appreciated, although being able to vent and rant has been helpful in itself.
Cheers, ladies.
My worst fears at the moment are that I will not be a good mum that I wont look at my baby and feel that huge rush of love that everyone keeps on telling me about (and they do....a lot!) or even worse, that my baby will not love or like me. I am worried that Ill not be able to breastfeed, which is something that I really want to do. Its made worse by my MILs view that those who say they cant breastfeed arent trying hard enough! I am concerned that when the baby is born, my partner (I am in a same sex relationship) will take over the parenting and leave me like an empty, shrivelled up prune and Ill lose the special connection that I have with the baby at the moment.
I guess a lot of this is bound up with my feelings of a loss of identity and even a loss of control I cant think of a way to get back to feeling more positive about myself, my partner and my pregnancy. Its starting to impact upon the joy that I feel about my baby and the experience of being pregnant. I have taken the last couple of days off work to try to re-connect with myself and my bump and I think its helpful just being able to write some of my feelings down, although Im still feeling pretty overwhelmed. I have been crying a lot, but not really being able to identify why as well as feeling cross and anxious a great deal of the time. I then get cross with myself for not being happy for the baby thinking that it must impact...arrrrggghhhhhhh!
Its been a long, complicated and emotional journey becoming pregnant as two women and I am desperate to get back to enjoying the last weeks of my pregnancy and being excited about the arrival of our long wanted and awaited baby. Any ideas or advice greatly appreciated, although being able to vent and rant has been helpful in itself.
Cheers, ladies.