Explaining to children about disability/differences....

[Bonfire Bride]

My fear would be going to say hi or explain to the child there and then... to be greeted with a hostile / negative response

I really wouldn't know where to go from there x

I would think this would be very rare, and the chances of it happening would hopefully not put you off x

It actually happens a lot. My nan was in a wheelchair and if anybody asked them why she was in one my grandad would shoot them down and tell them it's none of their business and to clear off. She was much more understanding of people asking but he tended to overrule her once he became her carer as well, it's sad but sometime people don't want to accept that somebody does have different needs than someone else. My brother has Aspergers and shakes/flaps his hands a lot when he's excited or worried, he was so badly bullied at school that they threatened him with a knife and eventually he was hospitalised with an eating disorder. All because nobody would explain to these stupid boys that he was no less of a person just for having Aspergers, if anybody tries to talk about his autism now he declines even having it (including family members) before getting really upset and angry and disappearing to his room for hours or days.
For some people, both the patient and/or the relatives, it can be really hard to talk openly about their disability no matter how delicately you approach the subject. It's sad that some people feel that way but everybody has different ways of coping and different tolerance levels. I personally never ask about people's conditions, I'll always smile and treat them like I would every one else but I do understand people's fears about approaching people and bringing up such a personal and possibly distressing subject in a public area. Xxx

I agree....

However, it's about assessing the context. If the carer/mum/dad appears approachable then that should encourage you to smile/chat etc.

I was in a River Island queue at Christmas when a concerned young girl asked her mother what was wrong with a young boy in a wheelchair (who appeared to be getting quite distressed). Before the mother could even reply...the mum swung around and rudely replied...TO THE CHILD "There's bloody nothing wrong with him thank you very much!" Dropped her shopping on the floor and walked out.

 

[Louise2013]

My fear would be going to say hi or explain to the child there and then... to be greeted with a hostile / negative response

I really wouldn't know where to go from there x

I would think this would be very rare, and the chances of it happening would hopefully not put you off x

It actually happens a lot. My nan was in a wheelchair and if anybody asked them why she was in one my grandad would shoot them down and tell them it's none of their business and to clear off. She was much more understanding of people asking but he tended to overrule her once he became her carer as well, it's sad but sometime people don't want to accept that somebody does have different needs than someone else. My brother has Aspergers and shakes/flaps his hands a lot when he's excited or worried, he was so badly bullied at school that they threatened him with a knife and eventually he was hospitalised with an eating disorder. All because nobody would explain to these stupid boys that he was no less of a person just for having Aspergers, if anybody tries to talk about his autism now he declines even having it (including family members) before getting really upset and angry and disappearing to his room for hours or days.
For some people, both the patient and/or the relatives, it can be really hard to talk openly about their disability no matter how delicately you approach the subject. It's sad that some people feel that way but everybody has different ways of coping and different tolerance levels. I personally never ask about people's conditions, I'll always smile and treat them like I would every one else but I do understand people's fears about approaching people and bringing up such a personal and possibly distressing subject in a public area. Xxx

I guess it's all down to personal experiences really; I don't personally know anyone in these circumstances who would be upset or offended by an innocent question (we spend an enormous amount of time with a large number of other families with disabilities etc. be it through Sam's daycare centre, old schoolfriends of Sams, other families from the chromosome disorder support groups, our Mencap group etc etc.); rudeness/bullying is of course a different matter and I think everyone in these positons have their own ways of dealing with that (I know I do! ) I do understand however that some families might find it difficult and hard to discuss, but I do personally, and I appreciate that this is only my opinion, but I do personally think those reactions are very rare when faced with merely an innocent question from an inquisitive child/adult with child etc. xxxx

 

[Louise2013]

My fear would be going to say hi or explain to the child there and then... to be greeted with a hostile / negative response

I really wouldn't know where to go from there x

I would think this would be very rare, and the chances of it happening would hopefully not put you off x

It actually happens a lot. My nan was in a wheelchair and if anybody asked them why she was in one my grandad would shoot them down and tell them it's none of their business and to clear off. She was much more understanding of people asking but he tended to overrule her once he became her carer as well, it's sad but sometime people don't want to accept that somebody does have different needs than someone else. My brother has Aspergers and shakes/flaps his hands a lot when he's excited or worried, he was so badly bullied at school that they threatened him with a knife and eventually he was hospitalised with an eating disorder. All because nobody would explain to these stupid boys that he was no less of a person just for having Aspergers, if anybody tries to talk about his autism now he declines even having it (including family members) before getting really upset and angry and disappearing to his room for hours or days.
For some people, both the patient and/or the relatives, it can be really hard to talk openly about their disability no matter how delicately you approach the subject. It's sad that some people feel that way but everybody has different ways of coping and different tolerance levels. I personally never ask about people's conditions, I'll always smile and treat them like I would every one else but I do understand people's fears about approaching people and bringing up such a personal and possibly distressing subject in a public area. Xxx

I agree....

However, it's about assessing the context. If the carer/mum/dad appears approachable then that should encourage you to smile/chat etc.

I was in a River Island queue at Christmas when a concerned young girl asked her mother what was wrong with a young boy in a wheelchair (who appeared to be getting quite distressed). Before the mother could even reply...the mum swung around and rudely replied...TO THE CHILD "There's bloody nothing wrong with him thank you very much!" Dropped her shopping on the floor and walked out.

You're absolutely right on context; I bet that Mum felt pretty awful once she'd left the shop and left behind the stress of snapping in the heat of the moment...... I hope the little girl who asked the question got a calmer answer from her Mum, bless her xxxxxx

 

[MrsS143]

I think aswell there's a difference being born with a disability and someone developing something later in life
I dunno what it is... but there's definitely a different mindset x

 

[Louise2013]

I think aswell there's a difference being born with a disability and someone developing something later in life
I dunno what it is... but there's definitely a different mindset x

I thnk that's very true, growing up with something makes it just, well, 'normal', but then again, I am totally biased! xxxx