Ever feel like giving up?

[Kezzipea]

2 and half years, 5 Mcs, and now i cant even conceive......

Have any of u ever been at ur lowest and been close to giving up and giving up to the fact it may never happen?
If so how did u get back out of that hole?

I really wanna get positive bout everything agen but finding it so hard.
Feel like being left behind.
I understand the world cant stop just cuz IM goin thru something but feels so lonely after a while.

Sometimes i feel like my family and friends (who have actually been AMAZING) r starting to, not give up on me, but maybe believe i wont ever have a baby.
And i SO wanna prove everyone wrong....
But every cycle tht goes passed i just get more and more angry with myself.
That i cant do it.
And even if i get preg....will the baba stay?

Im starting to wonder if i shud just give up trying myself now.....
Arghhhhh just finding it hard to stay poz at the mo.

Any advice?

xxxxx

Mucho love n thanx in advance.

 

[Poppy1987]

Hi hun, no advise as I have only been trying a year but I know the whole thing is stressful, I get upset a lot and think it's never going to happen but it will one day for us. Big hugs x

 

[LouiseB]

Aw Kizzi, sorry that you're having a hard time

Yeah, I've felt like giving up. Sometimes it's hard to see what the point is in putting your life on hold and exposing yourself to so much hurt and sadness when it never seems to end.

On your death bed would you regret trying to force something to happen that was out of your control and letting it take over 40 years of your life, or would you regret not passing on your DNA?

I think that you just have to exhaust all avenues, but be realistic about your limitations. Try and detach yourself emotionally from what is going on and prepare yourself for the worse case scenario.

Right now I feel done. We have a rare and unexplained situation that has no hope of getting better by itself or with conventional methods of assisted reproduction. If we don't get an improvement after this next cycle then we are there. End of the road. No more ttc.

All that is keeping me going is knowing we are trying something different and have a chance.

That is what keep my head above water, reading about it and asking consultants about it and trying out for myself. I suggest that you do the same. There is a reason for your miscarriages and if the doctors can't find it, you need to find it yourself xx

 

[laurat]

Hey hon, yes is the straightforward answer I do at times feel like giving it all up. It gets you down. Im 3 years trying in July and 1 mc and now faced with a body that doesnt ovulate at all. But and this is the thing that keeps me going there is still a chance and as long as theres still a chance then Im going to try my damdest to get my BFP. Although Im now more thinking ok what if my 3 chances of IUI and 2 IVF fail then Ive resigned myself a bit more to adoption. I want to have a child and I can adopt if its my only option!

I get good days and bad days and even good hours and bad hours. I find making a plan of action helps. Outline your next steps. Whats yours? Is it treatment or investigations or what?

 

[ScotchEgg]

I find it easier to cope with if I have next steps clear in my mind. We will take all the ivf help available to us on the nhs, then if that fails we'll take a few months out and then pursue adoption. Failing that we'll get a cottage and a dog and chickens. It's less scary if I can see some good in the alternatives and strangely helps me keep going.

 

[hayes]

Im the same as scotch egg i like to have a plan in place all the time. So that i always no wats coming up nxt!!

Michelle. x

 

[Kezzipea]

Me and my OH have had various blood tests done and ive been scanned for PCOs and fibroids but so far nothing in those results.
But everything just taking so long. Our hosp is crapn keeps putting bk appointments and seems no urgency cuz im 'young'.
Originally i cudnt get help cuz i hadnt had 3 'proper' MCs (apparantly chemicalMCs dont count???) So i had to wait for two further missed MCs to come and go before they even started testing me a little.
Which hurt. I had to keep pushing them all the time cuz they just seemed to fob me off saying 'its just one of those things, at least u can conceive'.
Now its been over a yr since i last concieved...... still not really taking me seriously.
Meanwhile girls i know r gettin rushed thru and two have just had ivf. After TTC for a yr.
Feel let down and left behind and really giving up hope.
Every month is a let down.
Im sure uve all felt the same i know im not a 'special case' i just feel exhausted with it all really.

xxxxxx

PS: Thanku for all ur lovely replies.
Sorry for moaning..... xxx

 

[blondy13]

Having a plan and knowing my next steps is what gets me through the sad times also.
And as fOr the family and friends part, I know how you feel, but I think sometimes people do not ask because they simply don't know what to say to us. I have a couple of friends who talked about it loads when we were first having troubles, now they never mention it unless I do.
Hope you are feeling better now and all the girls on here are great at cheering us up xxx

 

[Drummers_wife]

Something in the water today???!!!

I've had a mini meltdown today AF turned up early so leaving my with a short 25 day cycle - 3rd cycle of clomid and now onto cycle 26 and 4th cycle of clomid and I feel numb - went to try see consultant but she's on annual leave for 2wks so I gotta wait 2wks but then I'm gona make her give me a proper plan cos that's what's driving me mad x x

Hubby and I have discussed it - well do all the nhs will give us - lucky in Wales it's 3 ivf but 12-18mnth waiting list from date of referral so I'll finish clomid in aug then be referred so aug 13 I would start by minimum
Then if that doesn't work that's it - hubby doesn't want to adopt as he has 2 children and doesn't want "a kid for the sake of it" his words not mine - it hurts me but that's his opinion and I respect that xx

Jus really hope when and if I get pg I won't have any other issues with holding onto it cos that would truly finish me off after all this heart ache xx

Group hugs girlies fx well get our dreams come true xxxxx

 

[Vickyxx]

Group hug ladies ...

 

[laurat]

Im in the hug girlies! Just dont know how to get the wee icons! Xxx

 

[LouiseB]

When in doubt, click quote on the post and it will show you what they typed to get the icon and you can copy it

DW - that's a horrible situation to find yourself in I did have a random 26 day cycle once, so it does happen sometimes

It's crap about the huge long waiting list! You'd think it would make more sense to increase the wait between treatemnt cycles rather than have a massive wait before getting any treatment!

If I ruled the world it would be much more efficient if nothing else

 

[ScotchEgg]

I often think we PF LTTTCers should take over the NHS...

 

[LouiseB]

I most certainly agree.

I tell you what my current annoyance, people involved in fertility issues that have never suffered infertility.

I know it's a bit unrealistic, but I think that if the people who made decisions about infertility had suffered infertility that it would be a whole lot better.

They should put it in their job requirement

I remember coming around from egg collection once and the nurse was there when I opened my eyes and she said something "reassuring" and I asked her if she'd had IVF and she immediately said no, and I remember blatantly frowning at her in my drugged stupor lol

 

[Drummers_wife]

I'd vote for you in government Lou xx need a strong minded woman to run the country none of these poncey assholes who know jack about fertility or nhs as a whole!! They keep taking money away from nhs and being a nurse it makes our job 200% harder to do same job x

I needed the tonight xx
Numb is all I am today fx tomorrow will be a better day xx

 

[nicky1987]

Oh DW xxxxxxxx

 

[laurat]

Gosh that would be great if infertility people would have been through the process as that would sure change the whole ridicolous waiting time!!

 

[itisbabytime]

have you had a hysteroscopy (camera in womb to look for defects/polyps/fibroids) or any blood work for immunity issues?

 

[VikkiR]

I empathise, I started to try and get pregnant in 1992 and gave up when my first husband left me in 2001, he'd got his mistress pregnant. I had a mc in 2008 on holiday abroad, I didn't know I was pregnant. I gave up hope of it ever happening but then I met an amazing man in 2010 got married 2011 and fell pregnant 3 months after the wedding. I was terrified all the way through the pregnancy and got all the nasties incl 5 months of sickness BUT I now have an amazing 3 month old baby girl. I tell myself she was waiting for the right daddy. Strangely my cycles started to regulate when I began to work in an all male environment in 2008. Be strong, don't be afraid of being afraid and do things to make you happy. Big hugs xx