EPU today....

[valentine]

Thinking of you uknitty and good luck for the future.

Take care of yourself

Valentine Xxx

 

[Serendipity_]

I'm so sorry, how very brave you are. xxxx

 

[KikoDinoGirl]

Gosh I am so sorry to hear your news... I don't know what to say apart from hugs xx

 

[bumblebee87]

im so sorry your pregnancy didnt work out

i also want to say well done for standing your ground about the surgery, the option you have taken sounds a lot better, and i suppose waiting 6 months to TTC again is better than having your insides mauled with goodness knows what effect, so well done be strong, and keep believing your day will come x

 

[Snuggle]

I'm so sorry about your loss hun

 

[san]

sorry to near your news uknitty take care
x

 

[uknitty]

Just had the result of my 48 hour blood test. hCG has gone up 30 %. Apparently sometimes this happens in ectopics, hCG goes up and down and quite frankly all over the place following no particular pattern. I really hope I don't have to have a second jab, as I will have to hold off TTC even longer.

I'm feeling truly lousy today. OH is acting as if nothing has happened. If I start to cry or get a bit sniffy he tells me to stop it. He does't mean to be horrid, I think it is his way of telling me to keep my chin up. Quite frankly right now I don't want to keep my chin up. I want to kick things and scream and shout and be wholly unreasonable. The whole situation hurts on so many different levels.

When in hospital I happened to see my medical records. In them the midwife had commented I am "unpleasant" as well as some other remarks that I feel are inappropriate. I just can't stop thinking about this.

I feel so flipping gutted, not only no baby this time around coupled with all the worry about the ectopic, but also one of the people who I am supposed to trust with my health, and to help guide me through this upsetting process are making accusations about my personality in my medical records.

I know its probably not true - and lots of women go through this after miscarriage, but I am completely overwhelmed by feelings of failure and plagued by doubts that I am in some way a bad nasty person. The fact that a medical professional has gone so far as to comment I am "unpleasant" really does not help with this.

Thanks for listening chaps. I just needed to get those thoughts out before they start to multiply out of proportion.

xxx

 

[Jaded Diamond]

I felt the same after our first miscarriage, they'd left my hospital notes on the table at the end of the bed, so whilst waiting to go to theatre I sat and read them, and there were some not nice things in there too. Which just added to that horrible feeling of failure and just anger at my own body.
And my oh went into robot mode, he just shutdown emotionally and it drove me crazy. We ended up going through miscarriage counselling which just about kept us married.
I also have an online diary that i keep private on opendiary.com and whenever i can't talk to him about stuff I sit and type it all out, most of it doesn't make sense but if it doesn't get out of my head then i'll explode.
I'm so sorry you've had to go through this.
xx

 

[reallyoldmum]

Oh I'm so sorry to have missed this thread until now - I went through a very similar experience last Sept - December, which eventually concluded with them finding my ectopic in my stomach cavity - in our case they just didnt believe I hadnt miscarried in September (I kept on going back as I was bleeding every 10 days or so and always very strange blood loss). I have to say that when they did eventuallly deem to give me a scan, albeit after much arguing and only then a pelvic scan in the main part of the hospital as they said I wasnt pregnant - their treatment of me did change - in hindsight I realise they were probably worried that I may take legal action.

I am not sure if I am really supposed to post this on here but it was recommended that I join a support group called the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust - they have a website and forum - their moderators are all experts in ectopic pregnancies and I found them invaluable as they were always at the end of a phone or email when I was going through my darkest moments. This and the support of other ladies who had been through similar experiences really helped me, especially when everyone kept on telling me to "just get on with it".

Please feel free to PM me if you want any further information - we were very lucky and after 6 months we did get another BFP and our baby boy is due sometime in the next 4 weeks but I have to say it was a worrying time at the beginning of this pregnancy after what we had been through before.

Jane x

 

[uknitty]

...

 

[Tasha20]

Oh I have just seen this, hun I am so sorry

I hope it went ok at the hospital and you managed to get there.

So sorry you are having to go through this

 

[KikoDinoGirl]

Just had the result of my 48 hour blood test. hCG has gone up 30 %. Apparently sometimes this happens in ectopics, hCG goes up and down and quite frankly all over the place following no particular pattern. I really hope I don't have to have a second jab, as I will have to hold off TTC even longer.

I'm feeling truly lousy today. OH is acting as if nothing has happened. If I start to cry or get a bit sniffy he tells me to stop it. He does't mean to be horrid, I think it is his way of telling me to keep my chin up. Quite frankly right now I don't want to keep my chin up. I want to kick things and scream and shout and be wholly unreasonable. The whole situation hurts on so many different levels.

When in hospital I happened to see my medical records. In them the midwife had commented I am "unpleasant" as well as some other remarks that I feel are inappropriate. I just can't stop thinking about this.

I feel so flipping gutted, not only no baby this time around coupled with all the worry about the ectopic, but also one of the people who I am supposed to trust with my health, and to help guide me through this upsetting process are making accusations about my personality in my medical records.

I know its probably not true - and lots of women go through this after miscarriage, but I am completely overwhelmed by feelings of failure and plagued by doubts that I am in some way a bad nasty person. The fact that a medical professional has gone so far as to comment I am "unpleasant" really does not help with this.

Thanks for listening chaps. I just needed to get those thoughts out before they start to multiply out of proportion.

xxx

Man... I read this...and although part of me doesn't know what to say the other part of me is really angry for you. How dare the midwife write. I am disgusted and shocked. But the most important thing is how you are coping with all this and how you are getting support. Getting angry with the woman (at the moment) won't help. Maybe get angry later and complain. Perhaps talk to the Patients Liaison Service to get some support in this difficult time?

For now...maybe talk to your partner, and say you just want to talk this through and you just want to be held. Maybe you don't even want to talk, but just to be with someone you love.

Gosh, I am sorry you are going through this xxx

 

[babyblonde]

Just had the result of my 48 hour blood test. hCG has gone up 30 %. Apparently sometimes this happens in ectopics, hCG goes up and down and quite frankly all over the place following no particular pattern. I really hope I don't have to have a second jab, as I will have to hold off TTC even longer.

I'm feeling truly lousy today. OH is acting as if nothing has happened. If I start to cry or get a bit sniffy he tells me to stop it. He does't mean to be horrid, I think it is his way of telling me to keep my chin up. Quite frankly right now I don't want to keep my chin up. I want to kick things and scream and shout and be wholly unreasonable. The whole situation hurts on so many different levels.

When in hospital I happened to see my medical records. In them the midwife had commented I am "unpleasant" as well as some other remarks that I feel are inappropriate. I just can't stop thinking about this.

I feel so flipping gutted, not only no baby this time around coupled with all the worry about the ectopic, but also one of the people who I am supposed to trust with my health, and to help guide me through this upsetting process are making accusations about my personality in my medical records.

I know its probably not true - and lots of women go through this after miscarriage, but I am completely overwhelmed by feelings of failure and plagued by doubts that I am in some way a bad nasty person. The fact that a medical professional has gone so far as to comment I am "unpleasant" really does not help with this.

Thanks for listening chaps. I just needed to get those thoughts out before they start to multiply out of proportion.

xxx

You should complain to PALS about what is written in your notes hun - that is completely unprofessional and is lesson 1 of clinical note writing; you never write subjective or potentially offensive things about people in their notes. I am so angry on your behalf!!!!


You've been through enough without being made to feel you are an unpleasant person at the same time. What they mean is 'dared to vaguely disagree with what we said' which in their view is not what they want. Screw them babe - make sure you complain as that is bang out of order