edited! GLASGOW mini-meet - swimming...SOON! p2

[GBLiz]

i went to a baby and todler group...and i hated it!!!

Anjali seemed to enjoy it though

Virtually all of the other children were toddlers, so the mums sat round the edge of the room chatting to each other while their kids played....as Anjali can't crawl or walk I was the sole mum in the middle of the room sitting with her baby...

Everyone else seemed to have known each other for years , turning up in pairs or threes ,and i felt very awkward

If I'd known even one person there it probably would have been ok.....!

 

[Charlie:-)]

Aw thats a shame that no one made an effort to welcome you or talk to you. I know in my area there are lots of toddler groups but not so much for babies so I tend to travel a few miles around and about to some of teh groups I go to. Saying that surestart have just mailed me this morning to tell me about some new babies groups starting next week and all within walking distance to me

Maybe try and hunt a few groups out more suited to babies rather than toddlers. Do you have a baby cafe in your are, I find mine excellent, very friendly and welcoming with lots of expert support to use as and when you need it http://www.thebabycafe.co.uk/

 

[Minxy]

I've always found this with existing groups.

I'm always amazed how mums manage to sit off and chat TBH. Even now I do a lot of chasing Stanley round like a loon.

Do you know any other mums you coud go 'with' to a group?

 

[GBLiz]

I guess its to be expected if the others all know each other...

There is a group where I do know a mum, which i would love to go to, but its in the mornings , peak time, wheras its a lot easier for me to get out of the gym in the afternoon.

I tried to go on netmums but i cant work out what area network im supposed to join, im between 3 different areas.....

 

[Cixes]

Don't worry i never liked them either with my 3, i am quite shy and nobody ever spoke to me so i just gave up!

maybe you could try another one or go to a wacky or something. Surestart centres might be better too.

 

[Hazel]

I tried to go on netmums but i cant work out what area network im supposed to join, im between 3 different areas.....

Go to all 3 and see which group you prefer .

We have a local one and I read the thread and they all sound really friendly so I'm really going to make the effort to go as it hasn't been running long. Connie loves being around other kids when I take her to my friends but they're all toddlers and just want to tip juice on her head so it would be nice for her to have some little friends her own age.

 

[debecca]

The first one I went to sounds like yours, Liz. Connie was totally the wrong age for it and the mums already knew each other and were cliquey.

However I forced myself to try a few others and now I'm a complete Baby Group tart. I've been to every Baby Group in Lancaster and Kirkby Lonsdale and there are now 3 that I go to every week if I can. The best one is just £1 and you get homemade cake AND there about 25 babies there. There's also singing and dancing - and the HV runs it so if you have any questions you want to ask, you can. Woo.

So my point is, they may not all be like that. Ignore the stuck up cliquey bints and try somewhere else. Yay

 

[GBLiz]

have spent the last half hour trying to find my way around net mums!! found some local-ish groups but again theyre all in the morning. ..... to be honest i think i'd feel like an outsider wherever i went i think i need to make a friend first, not hope to make friends there!

 

[Hazel]

How about trying a group that has an activity? I want to take Connie to swimming classes (she's a bit of a handful when we go swimming at the moment ) so at least I will be doing something and not just sitting there trying to make small talk with someone and feeling like a plonker.

Our local library has something called rhyme time which you do all the singing then choose a book so even if you don't get talking to someone there is the distraction of looking at books.

 

[cherrybomb]

I don't enjoy them. My partner insists that I go, not just for James but for me to meet people, as I don't know anyone in my area. My problem is I'm quite shy and find it really difficult to make small talk.

 

[Strangeness]

I felt the same way when I took Aaron for the first time but the second time I went back people started talking to me because they recognised me from the week before and it was a lot nicer. I stopped going with Tamzin because she just used to sleep for 2 hours and it was a bit boring to be honest We'll go back when she's more active though!

 

[Urchin]

I know what you mean liz BUT I think its important you tell people you're new/on your own.

With my groups I don't always make the effort with people I don't recognise, purely cos I don't realise they are new. If someone says its heir first time, I always have a chat.
Its so easy to start a convo at a baby group, compliment someone's baby's outfit, or ask how old their child is. People love talking about their kids

try again and let us know how you get on

 

[poppy160]

I think you should try and give it another go, and maybe just try and talk a little. I went to a new baby group this morning and didn't know anyone..I kinda just plonked myself next to another girl on her own and just started chatting But it worked, it made me feel more relaxed

There maybe somebody else who's new next time who you could chat to?

 

[Iggle20]

I didn't like my local toddler group the first time I went, same reasons you stated, the mum's chatting and me alone with baby in the middle of the room....I persevered with it and now LO is walking and running around he's clearly enjoying it more and I've 'just' started to fit in with the other group mum's and I've been going about 15 months now. I still miss the odd week if I can't be bothered but one Mum there imparticular is quiet like me, our LO's are the same age and heading to the same school etc so we've found common ground and have even spoken (once) about getting together outside of toddler group. It's taken time but LO loves the group, I go for him, not me, I'd happily live in th house a complete hermit if I could, but for LO I can't do that and do lots of other things like swimming and toddler activities so there is something going on it's not LO with a toy and me feeling like a lemon just watching etc. Hope you go back (or try another one). Once you start to get settled they really are fun.

 

[Iggle20]

I didn't like my local toddler group the first time I went, same reasons you stated, the mum's chatting and me alone with baby in the middle of the room....I persevered with it and now LO is walking and running around he's clearly enjoying it more and I've 'just' started to fit in with the other group mum's and I've been going about 15 months now. I still miss the odd week if I can't be bothered but one Mum there imparticular is quiet like me, our LO's are the same age and heading to the same school etc so we've found common ground and have even spoken (once) about getting together outside of toddler group. It's taken time but LO loves the group, I go for him, not me, I'd happily live in th house a complete hermit if I could, but for LO I can't do that and do lots of other things like swimming and toddler activities so there is something going on it's not LO with a toy and me feeling like a lemon just watching etc. Hope you go back (or try another one). Once you start to get settled they really are fun.

 

[Bee]

Liz - where about in Glasgow are you? I am in Glasgow too and am more than happy to meet up with you

We could take the tiny ones swimming

 

[kazzie-bo]

try again next week and the week after, it will get easier. i hate going to new groups but if you persevere a few times then people will start to recognise you and hopefully you will be able to make friends, also someone else suggested it (sorry can't be bothered to go back and read through) but if you find groups that are an activity ie tumble tots, swimming classes or music groups then you are occupied the whole time so it doesn't matter if no-one talks to you

one last thought we go to the childrens centre/sure start centre and the have an under ones club and that is always in the afternoon 1-3 on various different days......we could go to one every day if we move around the different centres.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

I know what you mean liz BUT I think its important you tell people you're new/on your own.

With my groups I don't always make the effort with people I don't recognise, purely cos I don't realise they are new. If someone says its heir first time, I always have a chat.
Its so easy to start a convo at a baby group, compliment someone's baby's outfit, or ask how old their child is. People love talking about their kids

try again and let us know how you get on

I just cant - i feel that people see right through me for the shy bint i am, i just cant talk to people - im just so tongue tired!

I dare not go to one!

 

[louxlouxbellex]

Hi Liz

I'm really trying to get Charlie out & about too!

I go to mothers & toddlers in Bearsden, Glasgow, its mornings too though which is sometimes a rush. My friend is a childminder & she goes luckily I didn't have to go on my lonesome! You could come to that, I'd talk to you

Just checked and Hillhead Library do 'bounce & rhyme' at 2pm on a Friday. Not sure if its a bit far for you though I'm gonna try it if you fancy it.

 

[nori]

Hiya hun,

Sorry you had an awful time. I would really recommend Netmums. If you put a post on their meet a mums board (or even just look at the existing posts) and arrange to go to a class with one of them. I did this and went to a mother and toddler group. I met the netmums lady outside and went in with her. It was so much easier. I also went to another netmums meet today and they were all so friendly.

Try not to let it put you off too much. I went to an NCT meet and they were extremely unwelcoming and noone spoke to me much atall. I put it down to experience and wont be going again.

Good luck,

Claire x