Down in the dumps :-(

[debecca]

Hello everyone, I hope you are all OK and so are your LOs.

Now before I rant, I don't expect any replies, I'm just letting off steam here and I know I should be grateful that I have a healthy and happy little girl BUT I am really down tonight

It's this bl**dy breastfeeding issue again. I've just leaked all over my Hello Kitty pyjamas (fresh from the wash) and have been leaking for 4 weeks now despite not ever having breastfed. I mainly leak when she's bottlefeeding which is weird. I am SO upset at the way things have turned out - I was told I wouldn't be able to breastfeed so never tried and by the time it became obvious I could have done I felt it was too late (I hadn't attended any classes, I didn't have a clue what to do or any of the equipment or breastpump or anything and Flod was well established on bottlefeeding)... I am SO upset about it and keep feeling I've done everything wrong.

And because my breasts are still leaking (even though they've now deflated and are something approaching normal size) I keep being reminded of it. It makes me feel like crap.

Can someone tell me when I will stop leaking? I haven't touched my breasts so I can't understand why they're still doing it

 

[lisa&alex]

im curious on how you were told you would never breastfeed? you dont need to attend classes or have equipment.. and if your still leaking your milk is still there. - so if you wanted to try attatching your baby then its possible you could breastfeed and if you wanted to i would suggest calling your healthvisitor and asking for help and support. you might have an infant feeding specialist in your area.

now.. in regards to the leaking thing.. your breasts will leak if your baby cries and when they feed as its natural hormone release that produces the milk.it could take a while to dry up if you dont try feeding. put breastpads on.. its natural so dont let it get you down xx

 

[daftscotslass]

Not sure on the leaking thing hun... do you have a 6 week check with your GP you could ask at?

You've done nothing wrong at all, I know exactly how it feels to struggle with this. You did what you'd been advised to do which was the right thing to do. There's no denying it's hard being around people who have managed successfully to feed their LOs - this gets me upset every single day too. All I can say is that you're not alone in how you feel so if you need a rant about it just to let off steam then you know where I am so feel free to PM me any time.

You said it yourself - just look at your healthy, happy little Connie and know that she's absolutely thriving. In hindsight you might have done things differently (try not to dwell on it) but you did what was right at the time for your little 'un - you know that she is doing great regardless!

 

[DebbieM]

Bex, would you never consider just giving it a go and seeing what happens? I know you said about being in a routine in a previous post but it sounds like it is something that you really want to do still. It might work, it might not....

Worth a try? xxxxxxx

Either way, don't beat yourself up about it hun, you're doing a fab job with little Connie!

 

[GBLiz]

debecca...as debbie says, why not give it a go?

You have all the equipment you need believe me! You dont need classes and pumps to breastfeed


If your LO doesnt take to it, well she's obviously more than happy how she is!

 

[kellysomer]

I agree with all the other girls that if she is happy and healthy then the bottles are fine. IF however you are still upset and feeling bad (god i completely know that feeling from my first baby) then can you use breast cups to catch the milk and then put it in a bottle for her, sounds like you have a great milk supply so why not use it, it doesnt mean you need to breastfeed her. Just collect the milk in breast cups and then add it to her formula, it wont do any harm!

Might be a happy little compromise! I know how hard the whole bottlefeeding thing is and feel for you. I gave up with DD and felt awful, with DS i am still BF'ing but the really is no difference in their health at the same ages so dont worry whatever you do!

 

[Magic Monkey]

I breastfed for just 3 days and my milk dried up totally by about 7 weeks I think. I found that my right boob leaked a lot more as I lay on that side in bed! Therefore I was squeezing milk out so it kept producing it.

 

[muppetmummy]

I felt awful when I had to put James on formula when he was in scubu. my books leaked for weeks after too so i sort of know how you feel

why dont you ask your HV about relactation? Even if you cant exclusively breastfeed (though it is sometimes possible) you might be able to swap some formula feeds for breast. you could ask your HV if she could weigh connie regularly during to check she's not losing weight.
Id never heard of it when i had james otherwise i would have given it a go.

If thats not what you want could you ask the doctor for tablets to dry up your milk, you might feel better without the constant reminder.

I hope you're feeling better soon

 

[debecca]

Thank you everyone for your advice. I know a lot of you are seriously pro-breastfeeding but relactation wouldn't work for me and Flod now. My milk has all but dried up (I am not leaking huge amounts now and my breasts are back to normal size) and I think I've missed the boat so to speak.

Realistically I know I've made the wrong decision way back in April / early May and I'm just feeling really crap about it - and sort of blaming the medical professionals too because they should have let me try

I am going to try and forget about it now. Thanks to Sass for the info - hopefully I will dry up completely soon!

 

[Bloom]

Just seen this Bex have lots of

Hope you dry up soon as it sounds like your getting really down.

Your doing a fab job with Connie, you should feel proud of yourself, stop beating yourself up over the feeding issue as Connie is happy and thats whats matters.

 

[DebbieM]

Bex, don't be hard on yourself. Connie is happy and healthy and all she needs is a happy and healthy Mummy too. She is obviously thriving so wait for your milk to dry up and forget about it. There's always next time

Loads a hugs for you xxxxxxx

 

[GBLiz]

debecca- i think your anger at the health professionals is justifiable...you didnt make a bad decision - you were told there was no option!

i guess just move on and try to take comfort in that your LO is healthy and it wasnt your fault