dont like christmas anymore

[her13]

does anyone else get like this? since my losses i just dread christmas and my stomach sinks when xmas adverts come on tv ( i used to love it). its just i would of expected to have a baby by then. i dont want to feel negative christmas just seems to feel really tough for me and i dont like these feelings xx

 

[Simoneh00]

I felt very much like that last year and I'm sure it will be worse this year as I've had another loss. I just remember having to shuffle off and have a cry a few times as I have to keep a brave face on for my kids. It doesn't stoo me feling like someone's missing though xx

 

[her13]

sorry hun i know your situation was way worse than me i saw a thread the other day cant imagine how you felt/feel sorry you had another loss too wish things like this just couldnt happen. i fink it mite be a teary xmas for me too , hope your kiddys cheer you up though xxx

 

[Simoneh00]

sorry hun i know your situation was way worse than me i saw a thread the other day cant imagine how you felt/feel sorry you had another loss too wish things like this just couldnt happen. i fink it mite be a teary xmas for me too , hope your kiddys cheer you up though xxx

Don't be silly! No loss is worse than another. In a way I had easier than you as I still got to hold my Luna. Think that's why I struggled so much with the mc, you get nothing.
Plenty of cuddles, chocolate and cheesey movies should cheer us up at xmas xx

 

[her13]

aww thank u i know what you mean by you get nothing. but i think you are very strong going through what you did. yes think il look forward to that espech cuddles wont have seen my oh for 8 weeks. just saw your thread in ttc massive good luck for retesting xxx

 

[Tinkerbell3]

I'm absolutely dreading Christmas this year and I normally love it but my hearts just not in it now.
A couple of weeks ago I was thinking about how exciting it was that it's finally the last Christmas just us 2 and how exciting it's going to be to looking forward to all the ones to come and I had it all planned in my head how to announce to my mum I was pregnant with a Christmas card and now all I can do is think how none of that's going to happen and I just want Christmas out of the way to get started on treatment again.

 

[her13]

awww hun i saw your post that youve been uve been trying for 3 years i know its so difficult when youve been trying for ages and then mc its just so cruel it took me a year to concieve both times, and now im upto a year again , i always say if i knew i could fall preg straight away afterwards it would make it a tiny bit easier to deal with but i just know it takes me forever to fall preg again its like youve got two things to deal with. i guess we just have to try and enjoy the day somehow its very emotional time though, hopeully get some positivity back by new year x x x i hate it when people say it to me but i know it is true really that at least you know you are able to get pregnant now ( i know it doesnt take away any pain)

 

[Simoneh00]

So sorry about your loss but you have to move on, disliking the season will not bring back your loss

That is extremely insensitive. You don't just move on from a baby!

 

[her13]

if you are just a normal person your probably better off keeping your advice to yourself cos its not helpful, but if you are trying to wind people up as ive seen you left alot of strange messages on this forum, then you are just sick, this is a loss section you dont come on here and tell people to move on

 

[stacesl3]

I totally sympathise with you, I've never been a massive xmas fan but was looking forward to it for same reasons as you, also NYE which I usually loathe. FX we all get our BFP's soon!!!! xx

As for that other person, he/she has been posting strange replies all over, i would just ignore! Some funny people out there (and i dont mean in the 'haha' sense!)

 

[Louandtwins]

Christmas is often the hardest time for people who have suffered loss or who are, for whatever reason, depressed. It offers such a stark contrast between how they think they 'should' feel at Xmas and how they feel inside.

I think you're amazingly brave and courageous and I'm sure you are doing your best. Your family must be so proud of you. And hey, if it goes tits up, they'll be other years when you may feel stronger. Just be kind to yourself xx

if you are just a normal person your probably better off keeping your advice to yourself cos its not helpful, but if you are trying to wind people up as ive seen you left alot of strange messages on this forum, then you are just sick, this is a loss section you dont come on here and tell people to move on

I have flagged this up because I was not impressed with this or other responses.

 

[Louandtwins]

Oh god, I mean I flagged up that insensitive comment not the nice one I quoted. My head is all over the place - sorry

 

[mistyblue]

I completely understand. I usually love Christmas, but I think it's hard because it's a time for family and reflection on the past year. My b'day is also in December and I am dreading it, because it just reminds me it's another year without a baby. My DH and I had a long conversation about it which helped a bit. It will be hard spending Christmas with all the family children and knowing mine (I would have been almost 7 months' pregnant) won't be joining them in years to come. I am just trying to concentrate on other things and hope that Christmas is not as painful as I think it will be. Sorry not much help, but I do understand how and why you feel the way you do. Hugs x x x

 

[BlondeMoment]

I hate Christmas too.
After losing my beloved Nan, and two uncles in one year (2010), finally I lost my cousin the week before Christmas.
The following year in 2011, I got pregnant and found out in December that I'd had a missed miscarriage at the 12 week scan. The day before Christmas eve I was in hospital having the ERPC
Last Christmas (2012) I fell apart with all the hurt that time of year brings. Now this December I'm in the process of miscarrying for the second time.
I've no idea what you've been through but I know how it feels to hate Christmas. Just makes me sad. I just keep telling myself it's just one day.

Hang in there love. Just a few weeks now x

 

[Lou1103]

Blonde moment so sorry for your losses

Just surround yourself with your good people, not those who expect you to fake being happy (that is one of the hardest things to do). If you wanna reminisce or a little cry, better to let it out xxxx

 

[BlondeMoment]

Blonde moment so sorry for your losses

Just surround yourself with your good people, not those who expect you to fake being happy (that is one of the hardest things to do). If you wanna reminisce or a little cry, better to let it out xxxx

Thank you Lou1103
I had a lot of counselling and CBT and I cope a lot better now.
But Christmas and new year is a hard time for so many people. I never understood how anyone could hate Christmas when it's such a jolly warm time. But you feel sort of emotionally shut out of it all and then feel bad for being so miserable. Which then makes it worse lol.
Yeah I'll be with family and my little niece will cheer me up as she'll be excited about all her presents. I'll just look forward to the meal and the wine lol.
I find it helps to take the p*** out of it all a bit.

 

[sunflower85]

Me too... I MC on saturday. We were to announce our pregnancy on Christmas day, so now I'm just wishing the month to be away. Ahhh