winnie89
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- Mar 25, 2011
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well today was the day of my blood tests, got my pregnancy test result back from doctors whilst i was there, was in and out off the doctors in 5 minutes. pregnancy test result was negative (but i already knew that) and i should know by friday my blood test results.
i'm really worried about what might be wrong with me- havent been well this week feel like i'm slipping back into depression, me and mark are constantly arguing. i feel like i have to hold my tongue around all ofmy family because they keep telling me how to live my life, i'm just thinking that i'm never going to have a family because i can't even do anything right.
i feel like i can't even have an opinion any more i feel like i have to take an interest with hanna because she is pregnant but i couldn't even tell my own family when i miscarried because i wasn't allowed to talk about having a family, because i was told i was to immature, but hanna is 19 hasn't got a job and is still living with mark's mom and dad, me and mark were told we had to move out by 20, but matthew is still living at home and he's 21 in january, i always felt like me and mark were second best in his mom's eyes because they always get put before us.
i know i winge alot about my sister in law and her pregnancy but it's so unfair, i've done everything so far to increase my chances of getting pregnant and here i am still just me, matt and hanna haven't done anything and they're pregnant she hasn't had to loose weight or change her eating habits, i came from a very violent relationship before i met my husband, i thought i was worthless i thought i could never have a happy life, but i met mark who showed me how to live again.
i just feel so unhappy at the moment i feel like just giving up and not trying again, i've TTC for 2 and a half years and i'm still no closer to my dream.
i'm really worried about what might be wrong with me- havent been well this week feel like i'm slipping back into depression, me and mark are constantly arguing. i feel like i have to hold my tongue around all ofmy family because they keep telling me how to live my life, i'm just thinking that i'm never going to have a family because i can't even do anything right.
i feel like i can't even have an opinion any more i feel like i have to take an interest with hanna because she is pregnant but i couldn't even tell my own family when i miscarried because i wasn't allowed to talk about having a family, because i was told i was to immature, but hanna is 19 hasn't got a job and is still living with mark's mom and dad, me and mark were told we had to move out by 20, but matthew is still living at home and he's 21 in january, i always felt like me and mark were second best in his mom's eyes because they always get put before us.
i know i winge alot about my sister in law and her pregnancy but it's so unfair, i've done everything so far to increase my chances of getting pregnant and here i am still just me, matt and hanna haven't done anything and they're pregnant she hasn't had to loose weight or change her eating habits, i came from a very violent relationship before i met my husband, i thought i was worthless i thought i could never have a happy life, but i met mark who showed me how to live again.
i just feel so unhappy at the moment i feel like just giving up and not trying again, i've TTC for 2 and a half years and i'm still no closer to my dream.