do you sometimes hate your OH?

[CatBana]

HI everyone, just as I posted that I'll be testing on the 19 august my other half comes in and starts acting like a total knob end. I desperately want another baby for myself and my dd, I sometimes sincerely wish it wasn't with him though. At heart he is a good man but he is inconsiderate to the point of neglect. He loves trying to tell me what to do and it makes me so enraged. I'm 26, hardly old but I could weep buckets when I think how he stole my youth. I should have been out socialising but havent since i was 22 and had dd. And i have no career. I fucking hate having no freedom - social or financial. Life is so difficult, but being with someone wonderful makes up for it. I sometimes look at him and think are you worth this?? You are inconsiderate at least once every single day?? Plus he moans each time we're not pregnant but has no fucking libido. I want someone who wants to ravish me while I'm young enough to feel vibrant and attractive. I'm nothing special but I honestly feel wasted on him.
Does anyone else ever feel like this????

 

[Annie050408]

Oh dear hon - it sounds like you have answered your own question. Life is too short to stay with someone you don't really want to be with and if you are having doubts about him now then it's probably not a good idea to be trying to have a baby with him. Life is not perfect for any of us but it shouldn't be as hard as you have outlined.

Perhaps speak to him about your situation and see whether he is feeling the same or whether he even knows there is a problem?

 

[LouiseB]

I do occasionally feel like i hate my OH, sure.

I'm not sure your OH is as bad as all that though - I get the feeling your just really frustrated with the whole ttc thing and are losing sight of what is important which is the family that you already have.

Don't blame your OH and make him the bad guy because you're in this together and i'm sure if he says something nasty, it is him just feeling frustrated too.

You both need to work on your communication and give each other some tlc and you'll be back on track in no time

 

[xbeax]

Oh dear my OH annoys me occasionally but not to the point of hating him. i agree and think you should talk. X

 

[Geminiblue]

My OH irritates me at times but I know thats my intolerance not him BUT those are strong words my darlin and to feel that intensity there needs to be some serious thought about your relationship. There are people out there who will try to drag you down for their own reasons and insecurities so do you want to be living in that and have your child growing up around that? aybe some serious communication between the two of you and possibly some counselling there may be unlying issues around this ttc situation or other stuff. You have no need to be unhappy life is too short my darlin, you are still so young and to feel like you have wasted your life on him cant be right can it? Im 37 and you name it Ive dated it so believe me when I say, there is a better way. Dont react to him, keep you behaviour in check. THEN you will know what is his behaviour and what is ignited by yours and you get to see things a little clearer x big hug x

 

[Geminiblue]

how you doing today darlin? x

 

[flexilexi394]

Ah honey that's really sad. Well if I was you, I'd think to myself "do I really want to grow old with this person?" could you have s happier life without him? Your young like you said, you can still have a life. There's no harm in going to the pub a few times a week with pals, or whoever you'd like to socialise with. You're a lot younger than my mum (she's 48) butmy dadhas always made her unhappy as far as I can remember, but he decided to leave us last week, and my mum is quite happy about this because she's on the hint for a man thst doesn't always argue and put her down and someone that's interested in her hobbies, my dad just used to come in and sit his fat arse on the sofa every day!

Don't let your relationship get to the point where you like that, because you'll be unhappy. And ttc is all about making babies for you and a family.

Just a small word of advice honey. X

 

[clem]

LOL, hi Cat, I feel like that two days of every month when i am prementstrual! My husband says I threaten to leave him once every month at that time and he even has a mantra that he says out loud "Just remember it's not real!" He says it to himself over and over until i laugh (or occasionally throw something). I know it's a bit early for PMT for you, but do you think it could be hormones? It might even be pg hormones :-D

Do you know what i thought when i read that? I thought there's a girl who needs a job. I dont know what your situation is and maybe you can't, but it would give you all the things you feel you are lacking ... I'll say no more xx

 

[Geminiblue]

ok clem Im coming to you for answer now on, nice perspective !!!

 

[clem]

Big smile - thanks Geminiblue.

Cat? How you doing? xx

 

[CatBana]

Hi ladies, sorry for not wb sooner I don't get on here as much as I'd like.
Thanks to all for your replies, espcially Clem and Louise for admitting that you get frustrated with your ohs too, I'm surprised that some people have advised me to leave my husband though! I was asking if anyone else felt rage towards their husbands and honestly if I thought I ought to leave him I would! I am of the belief however that ours is a society that is too quick to be throwaway, even with something such as marriage. I'd like to think that I'd work things out with my husband apart from the cases of infidelity, emotional or physical abuse. I think if we're all honest with ourselves we all do lose it with our ohs. I just wanted spmeone to show they felt the same sometimes. xoxo

 

[Misstinkerbell]

I know where you are coming from Cat. My OH has been in a right mood for the past couple of weeks, especially today, i wouldnt care but we just made an appointment for the gyno today for next Monday. Hes doing my nut in so much today ive told him that i dont want to have a baby with him when hes like that and im going to cancel and all i got what "do whatever you want"!! ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! He's normally so caring and attentive, i have no idea whats gotten into him, when i ask he tells me theres nothing wrong. He's heading for a massive bitch slap i tell ya!!!
Bloody men.....all we need on top of everything else ey?!!
I know what you are going through so PM me if you want to rant some more OK!

Chin up!

Kim xx