Depression??

[bute69]

Not been on here for ages, but need to talk to you guys as maybe you can advise! Our happy, lovely little boy James is a year old tomorrow and me and his Dad love him dearly. Before he was born I was self employed and doing pretty well. I had high blood pressure and felt pretty ill through most of the pregnancy, so had to stop my buisiness all together. Had hoped to start again after having James, but it never really got going again. My fiance is a chef and is only working 3 or 4 evenings a Week at the moment and we are always strapped for cash. I feel so low and stuck in a rut. I'm actually in tears writing this! We are car sharing at the moment as mine is having major repairs at the garage. I have my horses at my parents Farm about 6 miles away, so I go there every morning to see to them. I then come back home. This means when Michael leaves for work at 2pm and doesn't get home until 11pm I'm confined to the house. We live in the middle of nowhere, which I love as I'm a country person. It's just that all my days are the same. I desperately want an evening out with Michael, just to go and watch a film or something, but we have no baby sitter. Michael goes off to his mates a few evenings a week which I resent so much as I feel he's getting out and I'm not. He's just told me he wants me to drop him off at his mates house on Sunday, so I have the car to go to the horses, then his mate will bring him home Sunday night. That's really set me off! It's his day off, yet he's going off with his mate all day and half the night. He doesn't seem to realise that the majority of the time I'm looking after James. Also as it's his 1st Birthday on Saturday and he'll be leaving for work at 2pm, and then won't get back until after he's gone to bed thought he might like to spend Sunday with him instead, but no, he'd rather go to his mates all day. Am I being selfish? Why do I feel so emotional and so bloody unhappy all the time. Am I depressed or just genuinely stuck in a rut?

 

[PeaPod]

First of all, big hugs, sounds like you have a lot of stress and worry in your life at the moment! I think it sounds like if you are a bit depressed it is due to circumstances rather than being clinical depression. Could you possibley tell your OH how you are feeling and explain that you would appreciate some of his time? Maybe havea date night at home, or could one of his friends babysit while you popped out for a meal. I never realised how much having a baby can put strain on a relationship until i had my son and it is tough. If you cant talk to OH maybe go see you GP as someone to talk to and for advice? X

 

[bute69]

Thanks PeaPod Can't really speak to OH about the way I feel, as he has PTSD as he's ex Army. He's on depression pills, which adds to my upset! Just got to get on with it I suppose.