Depressed and upset :o(

[lmarszall]

Hi all,

Sorry to be a grump but i am really struggling at the moment and don't feel like i have anyone to talk too who will understand.

Firstly i am 22 + 1 and still can't feel my baby move. I have really tried concetrating but can't. I have a doppler so i know he is ok. But i am getting really upset with people asking me if he is kicking alot.

Secondly i went away to Paris with my mum ans sis last weekend. It was fun but really depressed me. They spent ages shopping in posh designer shops and my sis bought some Jimmy Choos for about 500 quid! I only spent 60 the whole time i was there as saving for baby. But it made me think is it going to be like this forever now. Like my life is hold as baby comes first for everything. I can't even go and be frivolous onxce in a while. And even if i did buy some nice clothes or shoes i will never get to go out and wear them. I kind iof feel like my life has kind of stopped. if that makes sense.

I don;t feel like a person anymore just a baby maker. I feel really miserabkle. I have so much to sort and organise. Working out mine and DP's finances. What we need for the bnaby. Maternity leave. What i am doing after work etc. And all while i constanly feel sore, aching and tired. I just want a break from being pregnant. I want to be normal again for a week or so. Go out with my friends who i never see. Have a drink or two and stay out late.

And also i am getting really upset about work. I hate it loads i really dislike my job. But the money is good considering how 'easy' it generally is. But it stresses me out and i really can't wait to finsh. But because of how skint we are i have to work as late as possible to save up for the baby arrives. Aswell as all the baby stuff we need to get a car before June.

I just feel like a mess and want to run away from it all.

Sorry i just dont know who to talk too.



Lau & Peanut
22 weeks and 1 day
xx

 

[Riley's Mommy]

hi. i just write a reply but my dog turned the computer off

im sorry your not feeling too good atm.

i know how it feels. it seems you cnt do anything anymore (i went to orlando n couldnt go on anything)

things will get better tho. they have to right?

maby arrange a girly night for after the baby is born to catch up and have a few drinks?

 

[*glow*]

Hey!

I have days like this too, but its all good. I think sometimes the reality of the grown up world is horrible! And I think to worry a bit about how your life will change shows you are taking it all seriously...

Keep your chin up, be grateful for the non kicking allowing you sleep!!

Not long til you have your gorgeous baby - and give yourself a break - periods like this are ok and will pass

Lots of

 

[Hellokitty]

I sympathise with how you feel. I am also tired and achy most of the time at the moment, and yes there is alot to think about!

I love my job and even I'm sick of it!

No doubt most of us will miss being pregnant when its all over!

 

[tuck]

Dont feel guilty for wanting to feel like yourself, after all you are still a person, not just a 'mum to be', I think it's perfectly normal to feel like you do, everybody expects us to go round with a big boomimg smile all the time and you just cant do that, dosnt mean that you dont want your baby, it's just normal feelings. I know that I do sometimes and it's all part and parcel of it, personally I think it's a fear, fear the unknown, after all we cant see what's going on inside, we dont know wots gonna happen at the birth or afterwards. I am 23 wks and have only just felt what I think is the baby but it's not all the time.

If you're feeling really bad speak to your doctor or midwife, there is pre-natal depression as well as post-natal.

just because you're pregnant dosnt mean you're not you any more,

 

[mamichuli]

Oh sweetie, I am sorry you feel so down. I know for a fact that it is no consolation, but we all go through patches.
See if I can cheer you up a little

As far as feeling the little one, don't worry, everyone is different, and If this is your first, it takes longer. The fact that you have a doppler at least tells you everything is Ok. Maybe your little angel is a quiet relaxed baby, my first was! My second was NOT!!!

Don't think you're just a baby maker! You are a lovely girl - stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself this! why not see your friends anyway, you cant drink alcohol, but there is nothing stopping you going out with them for an evening, just for a litltle while.


Lisa

 

[Dinski]

I know how you feel sweetie. It feels like you put your life on hold while you are pregnant but at the same time you have time to think about how your life will change when the baby is born.

I think the important point to get across is that probably once your baby is born some material things will become less significant like having new clothes for yourself and after a while you won't miss that stuff anymore. Until the baby arrives you feel like you are in limbo between your 'old' self and your new 'mummy' self. This is a weird place to be.

I keep telling myself that at the end of hte day life is more than going shopping and having the latest stuff and at the end of my life I will have something real and concrete to look at and say "I made him".

Also, try and be positive. You could win the lottery tomorrow and everything could change. There is no point being miserable as it doesn't get you anywhere.

 

[lmarszall]

It's not that i regret being pregnant, or don't want my baby or anything.

Re-reading my message it sounds a bit like that. I love my baby and can't wait to meet him. Buit it all seems so far away and distant. And all the crap before hand seems to get in the way and you forget what you really are pregnant for.

It just seems like i could do with a week off to be me again.

And it's not like i want to go out and spend stupid amounts of money on shoes. But i just know the back of my head that i can't do stuff like that anymore. I can do spontaneous or crazy things as i am no longer no.1.

And it's not the same for DP. Yes he will be helping as much as me and we will share the costs of everything and his money is my money and vice versa. But his life isn't going to change that much. He will still go to work everyday and earn the same money. He can go to work in the day and not feel like crap all the time and he doesn't have to constantly feel the stress of it all. He hasn't got a constant reminder in his belly!

He just gets a little baby in 4 months. Easy as piss. The worse thing he goes through is putting up with me.

I just feel like my life has been mapped out for me now and i have no say in it at all. I would love to quit work as soon as i can and not go back but i have no choice in anything anymore

Sorry to rant.

Laura
x

 

[topbird]

wow - you are having a down day aren't you?!

I think it is perfectly normal to feel this way, some of the time. What you class as an adventure now and what is exciting in 6 months/ 1 years time I think will be totally different.

Imagine - teaching your baby to say your name, or seeing it walk for the first time.... watching it ride a bike for the first time. How exciting is that!

Your life is by no means over, just starting a new chapter. You will still have the same friends and still have a social life etc... and if they are no longer your friends because you can not go out on the lash with them EVERY weekend then they prob are not true friends in the first place. (sorry if that is harsh but it is true... we have lost friends in the past few years because at 30yrs old we no longer want to go out and spend £££ getting hammered and they have nothing else going on in their lifes so I have not seen them since)

I think you may be under estimating the effect you having a baby has on your DH, it is not his fault that you have the right equipment to carry the baby and he doesn't, so don't be too hard on him. Have you talked to him about how you feel?

as for having no choices - you have options available to you, you just need to decide on what you are willing to compromise and what you are not. You do not have to go back to your current job, you have 6 months maternity leave to find another one! Or - look at your finances and decide whether you can afford to cut back anymore and stay at home ... you prob never will ever buy a pair of jimmy choo shoes again, but are they really the key to happiness anyway?

Hope you feel better soon.... you could just try a big bar of chocolate and a nice hot bath.... snaps me ot of my down days every time

 

[neeko_1]

I COULDN'T BETTER MYSELF.

 

[Sabrina]

It's really easy to read your post and just say "cheer up" or something equally positive. But I know, from my own experience, just how fed up you can feel at times during pregnancy. I truly believe it heightens all our emotions and our hormones are all over the place at the moment. I don't usually get very "down" but have had some really horrible times over the last 2 weeks. I cried every day for a week... really over nothing at times.

So, the thing to remember is, you aren't alone. We all have our ups and downs...some of us worse than others. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are having a little baby who will mean the world to you once he is born... and best of all.. you are still young enough to have a life as well.

I will bet you any money that when your son is a few months old you won't swap places with your sister for the World.

You WILL have a life again and you WILL be able to be "just you" when you are a mum too.

Make some time for yourself, catch up with your friends and do something you like every now and again. It's good for the soul.

(By the way, I totally agree about men having the easy ride through all this. I reckon after 9 months of carrying his son my OH owes me a night off every week for the next 16 years!).

Big hugs

Sabrina
x

 

[neeko_1]

hi hun, sorry i didn't say much in my last post

but i really don't know what to say... i mean it's not like you want to hear cheer up your having a bad day...

but maybe it's all becoming a bit of a shock that you are going to be a mother... and as your pregnancy is becoming more of a reassurance your starting to freak out.. i could be just chatting a load of shhhh but your baby will be hear soon and it's all getting to much, but i will tell you it's just a bad spell and when you see your baby you will forget about all things and start to enjoy the new chapter in your life... your family

hope i shed some light

 

[oldermum]

Wow girl, what rung of the ladder are you on today?

There's no kidding anyone that become a Mum is one of the hardest jobs you will ever do but it's the most rewarding too, it never ends.

I'm watching my 14 year old change from a girl into a woman at the mo and even though we argue like all teenage Mums and daughters no doubt i wouldn't swap it for anything.

I'm watching my 6 year old boy learn to swim and learn about life and the world we live in and i'm so proud.

Now i have this other little soul growing into a human being and wonder what he/she will be like, who they'll look like and can't wait to meet him/her.

I would rather have no money(which is about right) than never have these 3 people that i have made.

Your baba won't want to know how much dosh you have just how much love you have for them

Wait and see, all will be fine.

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Aww hun what your feeling is completely normal.
I went through the same thing while pregnant with Kiara and now this pregnancy i know how worth it, it is and i wouldnt change it for the wrold. I think at some point in time everyone feels the need to feel some what normal and there is no shame in that , we need some time out now and again.

Katrina