Dad troubles.

[BubbleOne]

I had a rocky relationship with my Dad as I was growing up. I was very independant and didn't always take his advice (he thinks he is always right and what he says is best etc).
I didn't see him much really and we never spent any 'family time' together.
He has always got on with my older sister though and they still have a strong bond although finally at the age of 25 she is beginning to see his faults!!!

He hurt me plenty of times as a child. Making me promises he didn't keep etc and just fighting against my sister for attention was hard. When I was 19 I left home to go to University (was with my OH and he moved away with me) I made the choice to end contact with my Dad.

It's been over 4yrs now and to be honest I haven't really thought about it very much. I certainly don't regret my decision as he can no longer hurt me directly. He still does things like buy my sister a car and he gave her £4000 for a holiday this year knowing that me and OH could really do with those things to (not that I expect them from a Dad I don't talk to)

But seeing how fantastic OH is with Phoebe has really started to upset me and make me think about what I missed out on not having a Dad.

I'm preying that Phoebe will be a daddys girl because I want them to have that strong, unbreakable bond that I never had.

Anyone else feel like this?

I know Mums who get jealous when their child seems to think the Dad is great when they're the ones who spend all day with them etc but I am utterly chuffed Phoebe thinks her Dad is wonderful

 

[lauramumof2]

but all your sister has is a dad who puts his hand in his pocket, when push comes to shove will he really be of any use. You sound okay as you are and its great your oh is so fab.

 

[beanie]

I want Seren to be a daddy's girl. I was one and was so close to him and still miss him terribly. Seren's face lights up when she sees her daddy, its great

 

[Em78]

i feel this way but about alex having two fab grandads. my dads dad died before my parents were married and my mums dad died about 7 years ago but had a bad drink problem and was never a grandad to us.

now i see alex's face light up when he sees his grandads and i'm so happy that, god willing, he will grow up with two grandads who adore him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Layla]

i can understand but from the other way round..

my mum dumped me and my sisters when we was little, beofre she did that i had to bring my 2 younger sisters up and do housework etc, my mum would get up in the morning when my dad went to work, then get a bottle of vidka and go back to bed, i had to stay off school and look after my sisters, the yougest being 1 year old, then about 30 mins before my dad was due home, she would get up and pretend she did it all, i was always told not to say anything or i would get in trouble.

it all came out when she dumped us, went to the shop to get ciggys and never came back... so i told my dad when he got home from work what happend.
she came bac and tried to get contact, the odd weekend here and there, but she always let us down so in the end i cut contact.

i havent spoken to her in 16 years and i dont regret it, i had a little blip when i foun dout she has MS and is in a bad way, but then i realised it was probably karma.

I dot know her, i was a child when she left, so i dont see her as my mum.

the one thing i am greatful to her for tho is that i will now never let my children be anything else other than children, i want them to have fun, make mistakes, learn and grow as themselfs, and we have a very close bond which is all down to how she treated me coz i swore i wouldnt be the same.

so i dont blame you at all for wanting a close bond between your OH and your LO, im sure they will have one

xx

 

[BubbleOne]

And as if by magic she got up this morning and the first thing she said was Dad Da!!!

First time and it's her first word!! She's been saying it all day!!

OH cried

 

[futuremum]

Thomas said dada for father 's day lol He is a right daddy's boy too I just could watch the two of them play for hours. thomas'face just lights up every time he sees his dad and all his dad has to do to make him laugh is to be in the room. I am so pleased to see them so close because i did not have a good relationship with my dad either. i could not stay in the same room than him until i was 18. I really want Thomas to have parents he loves but time will tell

 

[Cat&Noah]

I had a similar situation with my dad, He never particularly wanted kids and you could tell! He wasnt abusive or anything, just never made the effort, and just moaned at us all the time. When I was 17 we found out he had been having an affair for nearly a year, so my mum kicked him out. I made the effort to stay in touch with him at first, but my brother (2 years older) had nothing to do with him. Anyway after a few months I to decided to have noting to do with him to, as he used to just lie to me when I saw him and moan about stuff, and not even listen to me when I talked to him. When my brother became a dad a few years ago, he decided to get back in touch with him, as if becoming a dad had awoken some feelings in him, and he is such a good dad. All they do is occasionally write, like once a year of something, but I still choose to have nothing to do with him.

OH is a brilliant dad, and we are a very happy family together. I know people say that he is my dad and I should make the effort, flesh and blood and all that, but I dont see the point. If your happy with your family unit, dont change it is what I say! At least we can learn from our parents mistakes.

 

[violet-glow]

Im not very close to my dad, when I go over the house we hardly talk. Its not because we dont like each other, its just I have nothing to say. With my mum its easy ill talk about everything with her... bore her to death sometimes talking about random things and my life lol

But with my dad I dont know what it is. My dad is more of a provider, he goes to work everyday, has done since before us kids were born. I know he'll always be there when we need him, but he just doesnt talk much. If he wants to know something about me he will talk to my mum and ask her. Wish I had a strong bond with him.

Thats why im hoping that baby and zack with have a strong bond with my OH. I dont want them to be daddys children tho I want them to be mummys children lol.. but I dont want OH to be there for them and support them, which I think he'll do because he wants to be everything his dad isnt (his dads a git lol)

 

[Lou]

I havent got on very well with my parents since I was pregnant. I'm not close to any of my family ie grandparents, aunties etc. I'm only close to my sisters. I feel closer to Jarrods family than my own. Does bother me sometimes but I'm an adult now and have my own family to worry about. Isaac can make up his own mind on my family and hopefully he will be close to them but god knows how because we never see them?!

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

oph bubble thats great so glad she said dad da for u

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

I see where your coming from , Me on the other hand want her to be a mommy girl cuz my mom wasnt around and i want us to have the bond we never had so were the oposite.
Katrina

 

[Strangeness]

Me and my dad haven't spoken to each other for over 2 years now and I will never speak to him again. I should have got him out of my life years before that but he had chance after chance to be a dad to us and he wasn't. Alcoholics shouldn't be parents.

 

[Layla]

Alcoholics shouldn't be parents.

couldn't agree more hun

xx