I come from a vary small family, just me, mum, dad and 1 grandparent. My OH has a huge family! I love them all and get on really well with them, or I did until last week.
It's complicated you see. He's the oldest of 4, and his folks split up when the youngest was just starting school, when dad left mum for mums best mate. Because of this dad seems to be the 'bad guy' and the family has had very little to do with him or his new family untl the last couple of years (when grandchildren started to be born). Although, in my MIL-to-be's deffence he had been a right git with her some years earlier and she does have a right to not want to see him herself (horrible story that not many people know about). What no one talks about much though, is that the youngest isn't actually dads son. He's the son of the man mum later married, and has now also left. So dad's the bad guy for running off with mum's best mate (which is rotton) but mum had already had a child with someone else at this point and dad was raising him as his own. The whole situation was bad!
With our own wedding coming up, and our TTC, we desided to get in touch with his dad. This was prompted by his mum who - having had a drink and in her own words: a moment of sentimentality - called their dad to tell him about the wedding and invite him on the grounds that his new wife and kids didn't come. She then called me and told me. So we had a long chat about it and the conclusion was that it was OK with her if he came.
My OH was out at the time, but when he came back I told him about this, and on the next trip over to his mum's we called in on his dad and gave him an invite for them all (can't invite him and not the others, and his mum had said she's cope if she had too, plus the wedding is a week day and the kids would be at school, and as he hasn't had any contact with his dad for so many years they might not come anyway).
She has since, it seems, forgotten these conversations with me and her ex-hubby, and has hit the roof with my OH for seeing his dad and inviting him and, more so, her and the kids, and not told her he was going to do it. It was a spur of the moment visit though, and if we had planned it (which we hadn't) there would have been little point in broadcasting it.
We're going to pay another visit today for the night and I'm a wee bit stressed about the whole thing!
Can anyone offer anything reasuring? I love his mum and don't want to fall out with her over this, but he is my OHs dad!
It's complicated you see. He's the oldest of 4, and his folks split up when the youngest was just starting school, when dad left mum for mums best mate. Because of this dad seems to be the 'bad guy' and the family has had very little to do with him or his new family untl the last couple of years (when grandchildren started to be born). Although, in my MIL-to-be's deffence he had been a right git with her some years earlier and she does have a right to not want to see him herself (horrible story that not many people know about). What no one talks about much though, is that the youngest isn't actually dads son. He's the son of the man mum later married, and has now also left. So dad's the bad guy for running off with mum's best mate (which is rotton) but mum had already had a child with someone else at this point and dad was raising him as his own. The whole situation was bad!
With our own wedding coming up, and our TTC, we desided to get in touch with his dad. This was prompted by his mum who - having had a drink and in her own words: a moment of sentimentality - called their dad to tell him about the wedding and invite him on the grounds that his new wife and kids didn't come. She then called me and told me. So we had a long chat about it and the conclusion was that it was OK with her if he came.
My OH was out at the time, but when he came back I told him about this, and on the next trip over to his mum's we called in on his dad and gave him an invite for them all (can't invite him and not the others, and his mum had said she's cope if she had too, plus the wedding is a week day and the kids would be at school, and as he hasn't had any contact with his dad for so many years they might not come anyway).
She has since, it seems, forgotten these conversations with me and her ex-hubby, and has hit the roof with my OH for seeing his dad and inviting him and, more so, her and the kids, and not told her he was going to do it. It was a spur of the moment visit though, and if we had planned it (which we hadn't) there would have been little point in broadcasting it.
We're going to pay another visit today for the night and I'm a wee bit stressed about the whole thing!
Can anyone offer anything reasuring? I love his mum and don't want to fall out with her over this, but he is my OHs dad!
