Could anyone give advice on adopting please?

[nickilubs]

After having Ivy me and Anthony absolutely love being a parents. Now we are not thinking about doing this till Ivy is a bit older but I would like to look into adoption but I have no idea how it works. I feel we both have so much to offer to another child but to be honest I really did not enjoy pregnancy and I don't think I would choose to do it again but I would love more children because I think we could offer them so much in the way of love and teaching them. So just wondering what things I should read up on and if there is a criteria that you have to meet to be allowed to adopt.

 

[1sttimemum]

I cant offer any advice but i hope you are accepted when your time comes.

 

[nickilubs]

I cant offer any advice but i hope you are accepted when your time comes.

Aw thank you its some thing we have both always said we wanted to do even before Ivy but since having her its made us really realize that we love being parents and we both love children.

 

[sarafet]

http://www.baaf.org.uk/

good luck when the time come sweetie

 

[sarafet]

p.s - that's a really admirable thing to do btw

 

[mummykay]

u can adopt me nicki!!!

nah seriously, top thing to do and hope ur succesful when u apply

 

[Serendipity_]

I think they are strict too. They turned down someones application recently because the man was too fat. He was 22 stone but about 10 foot

My Dad is adopted and his adoption was private........ Basically, just handed to someone else and a piece of paper was signed

Good luck Nicki, its very admirable and lovely thing to do.

 

[nickilubs]

I think the only problem we will have is that Anthony has aspergers, that is the only thing that worries me. But I think his aspergers is a real advantage because he gets treated differently so he has a real understanding to people that might usually be misunderstood and to me to be able to understand and have incredible patients is a massive advantage not something that should be seen as a bad thing but I don't know how it would be viewed by others .

Thank you for that site link, some of the stats they show are shocking cant believe how low the adoption rates are I had never realized it was that low

 

[SarahH]

My aunt and uncle do fostering... they actually adopted one of them, Mark who is the same age as me.

I dont know all the ins and outs, but I remember me and my sister were interviewed by the social services as to how we enjoyed going to their house when we were little, etc...

I know they are quite strict and I think you have to have a good background... ie no criminal record of any sort, good income etc

I could certainly ask my Auntie for some info if you want?!?!

 

[Magic Monkey]

I don't know a huge amount about it, but I have friends who are thinking of starting the process now as it can take years if you want a baby, if you are happy to have older children I think it is a bit easier as they are so much harder to place.

 

[LisaJ1986]

I don't know much about it but my auntie and late uncle adopted 2 boys. They were 2 and 3 at the time, been in and out of foster care in that time too. My uncle had a heart problem but still adopted.

 

[aramintalovegrove]

Nicki, Ant having Aspergers will be a fab fab fab thing for a child to grow up and understand so I agree with your thinking about it being an advantage. When matching parents, local authorities look for potential parents that can offer individual circumstances to the children so if you were to consider a child with Autism/aspergers Ant would be a fab positive role model, hell Im sure he would be even if they were neurotypical

We had plans but fate got in the way, we were looking into fostering when I fell pregnant with DS, I was going to be a surrogate when I fell pregnant with DD and we have always said when DS was older we would look at adoption.

Although the media portrays the fact that the authorities are being more picky, in actual fact they are getting better, hell only a few years ago single, gay and people with HIV would not have been considered AT ALL, but now it is the norm 8) .

My Hubby does befriending which is such a fab thing to do. He used to specialise in assisting parents of children on the autistic spectrum to manage severe challanging behaviour and from there got into befriending some of the kids he met. The way that works is either DH on his own or us as a family (DS included) would have a set time and day to take a child out and let them be who they want to be so if they had an obsession with trains we would go sit on a train station platform for the day or go to a park with a ball or going to the local youth group. Mainly it was so the kids and parents go a break. I really enjoyed doing this but we had to stop when I got poorley in pregnancy, DH still does it with a couple of kids on his own and really loves it. We have some fantastic friends now from doing this and my childminder is a good friend we met via doing this (DH would get her son up everydayy for school for a year). You get paid for your time and expenses (not that that is what you do it for) and I think if you get benefits the money doesnt get taken into account as is not an income as such. At one point 2 years ago DH didnt have a 'proper job' just lots of regular contacts with kids and it was a really rewarding time for him and us (although I was jelous he got paid to play and have fun all day!!).

Good luck with it Hun you will be fab at it!!

 

[nickilubs]

I have no idea what age we would go for, probably the same kind of age as Ivy would be at the time that we got accepted. Thank you for the reply's.

 

[Laur_250]

You will both be great at it and its a lovely thing to do I'm sure you wont have any problems getting accepted xx

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I think we too would consider it. Depending on our circumstances further on in life. I think it's a great thing to do.

Araminta - the befriending sounds so worthwhile!

 

[sarah2807]

That's a really lovely and worthwhile thing to do. I hope you get accepted when the time comes.

 

[Summer]

I do not know anything about it but just felt compelled to say what a wonderful thing to consider. I wish you all the best.