Constant worry i will miscarry!

[Amy P]

Hey everyone,

I am now 8+1 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I had a scan at 6+1 and everything was fine and baby had a heartbeat. However I'm constantly worrying that I may miscarry.

I work in the maternity unit in a hospital so I unfortunately I constantly hear horror stories of miscarriages which makes it so hard to relax. I have had no miscarriage symptoms and strong morning sickness but cant shake the feeling something will go wrong.


Has anyone else been through this and how did you cope... My 12 week scan isn't for 4 weeks and its driving me crazy waiting.

 

[Abi88]

This might not be for everyone but I found the miscarriage odds reassurer to be helpful: https://datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer.php you can put in all the data and it gives you the odds, it's nice to watch the risk drop day by day. There is a 'reassure me' section that tells you how many times more. Likely it is you will have a baby rather than a mc and it's great to see that rise day by day too. When I got my positive I was 3x more likely to have a baby than mc, now it's 10x. Some might find it a bit morbid but it has helped me.

 

[Theosmama]

I know it’s difficult. In the early days you do feel like somethings going to go wrong all the time, but the feeling will soon diminish and before long you’ll be enjoying your pregnancy! The way you have to look at it, is that it’s completely out of your hands and if god forbid something does go wrong, unfortunately it’s out of your control, the best and most healthy thing you can do is try and enjoy being pregnant, give yourself something to look forward to so it keeps your mind busy! Xx

 

[Amy P]

Thank you.

I'm hopeful everything will be ok. I keep telling myself it will all be ok and if it goes wrong its out of my control.

I think the constant reminders at work are just keeping it on my mind something could go wrong even though its more likely it will be ok than not.

 

[night owl]

Hi Amy I feel exactly the same as you, I’m currently 17+5, had a fantastic 12 week scan but still can’t shake the fear off, the difference with me is that this is my third pregnancy my last two were miscarriages, one very early on and one at 10 weeks with a blighted ovum, I’ve had horrendous morning sickness this time around though which I do think is a strong sign everything is going well, didn’t get any sickness at all with my blighted ovum, I just find all the waiting to be really hard, the wait for the 12 week scan was torture, now I’m sat waiting for my 20 week scan which feels like torture again made worse by the fact that the midwife didn’t bother listening to baby’s heartbeat at my 16 week appointment, I always feel like there’s long periods of time with no reassurance, I don’t think I will relax for a while yet, the horror stories don’t help I’m my own worse enemy by reading the bad news stories online, I actually going the miscarriage odds thing helpful like someone else has said, and I found the horrible morning sickness which I’m still suffering to be reassuring to some extent as I didn’t have it with my last pregnancy which ended badly, I know I haven’t offered you any useful advice just wanted you to know your not alone, and the odds are hugely in your favour if you’ve had a scan and measured right and getting strong symptoms, all very good signs I would be so surprised if something went wrong for you xx

 

[MamaWannabe]

This might not be for everyone but I found the miscarriage odds reassurer to be helpful: https://datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer.php you can put in all the data and it gives you the odds, it's nice to watch the risk drop day by day. There is a 'reassure me' section that tells you how many times more. Likely it is you will have a baby rather than a mc and it's great to see that rise day by day too. When I got my positive I was 3x more likely to have a baby than mc, now it's 10x. Some might find it a bit morbid but it has helped me.

Thank you for sharing this, it really is reassuring!

 

[Amy P]

It’s nice to know I’m not the only one, I’m the same with the horror stories! At work I always hear about very rare patients who have problems and think that could happen to me! The midwife should definitely have listened to babies heart beat at the last appointment for you though to reassure you.

Does the hospital you are with have a walk in day centre? At mine once 16+ you can go in and listen to babies heartbeat or check out any concerns?

 

[WinterWolf]

I was the same because my mum had so many miscarriages. I used to look at the same site Abi suggested and it is reassuring if you're someone who takes comfort in statistics. I think before that 12 week scan I kind of had to view every day I was still pregnant as a little victory. I used to set myself a goal.. like "make it to 7 weeks" then 8, then 9 etc.

 

[Amy P]

Thats how I feel right now im just trying to see each week and a victory, but then I worry it could be a missed miscarriage which is a lot rarer but still does happen.

I think after the 12 week scan it will be a lot less of a worry but its waiting for it that's horrible.

 

[Abi88]

I think not telling people hasn't helped me either. I found that with only my boss knowing I felt like it wasn't really happening or at least only yhr negative possible outcomes could. I told 2 other friends today (family will still have to wait until Christmas) but they were so happy it made me feel like this is a positive.

 

[Amy P]

I think in a way im more worried It will happen because of work, I'm having my appointments in my place of work so basically everyone knows here through seeing me at the appointments and a midwife I know did my booking.

If something is to go wrong ill then have to tell people when it should be private... My partner is really excited and has told quite a few people even though I said its best to wait and everyone is so happy and excited so I feel like if something is to go wrong ill be letting everyone down.

 

[night owl]

It’s nice to know I’m not the only one, I’m the same with the horror stories! At work I always hear about very rare patients who have problems and think that could happen to me! The midwife should definitely have listened to babies heart beat at the last appointment for you though to reassure you.

Does the hospital you are with have a walk in day centre? At mine once 16+ you can go in and listen to babies heartbeat or check out any concerns?

Apparently it’s new guide lines now not to listen to heartbeat at 16 weeks, a few other ladies didn’t get it done either at 16 weeks but lots of others did, there’s a pregnancy assessment unit but you can’t go unless something is wrong like pain or bleeding, it’s so busy it takes days to get seen even when you’re in the middle of a miscarriage! I can only wait for my 20 week scan and just assume everything is going well in there

 

[Amy P]

aww that's a shame with mine you can come in with any concerns whether physically anythings happening or not but only from 16 weeks so I cant at the moment.

 

[MoominGirl]

We took a long time to conceive to the point we had given up on the idea of it happening naturally for us so the anxiety in the early weeks was difficult. I have been lucky throughout the whole pregnancy in terms of how well I've felt physically but that wasn't all that helpful in the early weeks when the most I felt was a bit more tired than usual. I'm a nurse myself so although I know nothing about maternity, I still automatically consider worst case scenarios!!

As has been said the fact you've had a scan and seen a heart an measured correctly for your dates is all very reassuring. We had a private scan at 8 weeks just to get us through those early weeks as it still felt very surreal at that point. It did help and I believe there's a lot more to see at 8 weeks compared to 6 weeks.

 

[Amy P]

I think that’s part of my worry aswell it took so long to actually conceive I feel like it’s too good to be true, it still doesn’t feel real to me.

 

[SmithyBaby]

I understand the worry. I am pregnant for the third time (first two ended in miscarriage) and have made it to 9 weeks and 2 days with no problems. I just keep my eyes on the 12 week scan and try to keep moving towards it best as I can. I have wobbles and worries every day but got to keep telling myself what everyone else has said, it's out of my hands and I have to go with whatever happens. Good luck to you and I hope it's a sticky bean xx