confused and upset? HELP!

[jenna]

Im really really concerned about my cousin.

He told me a few days ago that hes really confused and thinks he likes boys. I told him its fine and he shouldnt worry but hes started to not eat and we talked on msn today and he sent this: 'idint kno what to do i was ashamed of myself and when i was on beach if i saw sumone who looked betta than me i wanted to be sick'
he said he thinks its because hes confused and upset but he doesnt know and he doesnt want me to tell any one. His mum has already asked me to try and find out whats up because he wont talk to her and shes worried and doesnt know what to do.
I told her i couldnt find anything out but hes really upset and worrying me, hes like a stick and hes even told me hes not happy with not eating but feels ashamed.
Should i take him to his GP or have a word with his mum? the only thing is im worried that if i tell any one he'll never forgive me and he wont have any one to talk to?

 

[libs]

Jen - I'd tell his mum you're concerned about him not eating and his low self image, but not that he may be gay. If he has a problem with his self image, then his sexuality may still be confused because of that.

 

[mary70]

how old is he Jenna, maybe he needs some sort of councelling, mabe taking him to a doctor would be a good idea is he would go but maybe just say you want to take him because you r worried about his eating not anything else

 

[jenna]

Hes 16.
Another thing is hes been accepted for a job and when he turned up on his 1st day they said they dont have the funding to employ him anymore so he was really devistated!

I had a chat with him and seems to think its because he thinks he has o hide who he is and hes confused about his sexuality, he said it feels right to like boys but when hes around family it feels wrong because he thinks his parents wont like it. He said he wanted to see some one because hes scared about how he feels and what hes doing.

I had a word with his mum and said that she shouldnt try and pressure him because hes recognised he has a problem which is the most important thing. I told her he wanted to see a doctor but it would probably be best if he saw the doctor on his own. I dont want the dr to put him on a diet or anything because he knows hes not eating right, he needs to talk about this to some one. Iv tried to make him feel better but im not qualified or anything so feel bad when he opens up to me and i dont know what to say.

He seems happy to see a dr though which is good.

 

[tracyM]

He's doing great by opening up to you about it. If you don't feel you can handle it, there are specialist GLB helplines that he might like to try, but remember, you don't need to be qualified to listen to him - there aren't any right / wrong answers to give him, it's just something he needs to work through.

 

[HappyAlice]

I'd have a heart-to-heart with him and explain to him that his mum is worried and asking you what's wrong and be honest and tell him that you think it'd be best if his mum knew - and then discuss some of the avenues he could go down like GP, counsellor.