Christianity..

[Krystal]

When I was younger I was brought up in an Evangelical Church ( I think ) Anyway we spent a lot of time there, services, Christmas, Sunday school. I was dedicated when I was younger. Basically the church I went to didn't believe you should choose your childs religion so you could get them dedicated but it was up to them to get Christened when they got older.

So I am going to be Godmother for my Auntie's baby girl. The Church she is getting Christened at requires you to be Christened to be a Godparent so me and my cousin went to the Church today for the service and to speak to the reverend about getting done.

Anyway onto my point.. I love Church and always feel at home and peaceful when there. I kind of consider myself a Christian but then in another way I don't because I have done many things in my life that don't hold many Christian values. I've been thinking seriously about it. I want Jack to be brought up with a connection to the Church, I think it's good for children and helps teach them right from wrong. I'm not sure if it's 'my thing' though. I'm just a bit confused with what I want for me and what I want for Jack.

I'm not sure if anyone can even help give me advice cos i'm not sure what i'm asking. LOL.

 

[zebrastripes]

For what it's worth,
Some of the best christians I know hardly go into a church. They believe that ... wait until i get this right.. that their faith, and God's love,should mainly be shown by actions and not by words. So they would go to church maybe once a month, but they would,instead,volunteer for a charity or something.
I don't think you necessarily need a church to bring up your child with basic values... however I think it really depends on your kind of church. For instance my dad is a huge atheist who hasn't been in a church since he was about 12 (save funereals and weddings) yet he has fond memories of going to sunday school, talking to the eccentric vicar, getting whacked by the flower arranger or whatever. It was COE so i suppose it was relatively non invasive.

On the other hand, my maternal family go to really hardcore evangelical churches which try to control every single thing you do in your life, from the people you marry to where you live. it's awful.

So i suppose it depends on what level of religious input you want for Jack
I can see where you are coming from- myself, I love churches- I eman proper,old ones, not the hideous new type- i love the chapel near where i live, the graveyard, the yew trees etc. and I find it very peaceful being in a church.
However I can't be bothered with the negative connotations.

You should have some church involvement by all means: as a community based social space especially they are invaluable. But I do think you need to have a good think about what exactly it is you want out of a church, and make a well thought out choice accordingly

 

[Krystal]

Thanks Zebs, yeah I guess i've always thought you shouldn't have to go to church to be a 'proper' christian. I know you don't need church to tech kids those values btw, i guess i just associate being brought up that way with the church. I'm probably feeling a little nostalgic about church tbh.

I'm going to have a proper think about things but actually I love your idea of helping out in the community, perhaps with some elderly people or something. Instead of concentrating on what it is to be a good 'christian' i should concentrate on what it is that makes you a good human

 

[zebrastripes]

Thanks Zebs, yeah I guess i've always thought you shouldn't have to go to church to be a 'proper' christian. I know you don't need church to tech kids those values btw, i guess i just associate being brought up that way with the church. I'm probably feeling a little nostalgic about church tbh.

I'm going to have a proper think about things but actually I love your idea of helping out in the community, perhaps with some elderly people or something. Instead of concentrating on what it is to be a good 'christian' i should concentrate on what it is that makes you a good human

Yeah, it's always something I really admire about the people I know.
One of the women, for instance, gives up her Saturday night almost every week, to go round the city in a wee van giving homeless people and really drunk people cups of tea and soup.. she saved a girl from being raped once
and her friend spends most sundays helping out at a geriatric centre, she does loads of the cleaning and cooking for some of the old people during the week too, completely for free,

Makes me feel guilty tbh

 

[Lou]

You don't need religion to teach Jack right from wrong hun, you're a clever girl and you'll teach him to be a good boy

Theres also nothing wrong with enjoying the church and taking comfort from it if thats what you would like to do

 

[Krystal]

Aww isn't that lovely. I guess I think thats one thing missing from communities today. Not enough people like that.

I've just discussed this with my OH and he's suggested going to the local church and speaking to them about maybe helping out with an elderly person in the area. Whether it be helping them with shopping or going to chat to them once a week. Something like that anyway. Then I can be involved but in a way i think i'd feel more comfortable with

 

[Suzie and Faith]

FWIW I consider myself a proper Christian and the last time I went to church was my wedding! I too believe it is about being a good and kind person and the idea of helping out people is really lovely xxxx

 

[jills10uk]

FWIW I consider myself a proper Christian and the last time I went to church was my wedding! I too believe it is about being a good and kind person and the idea of helping out people is really lovely xxxx

ditto, i totally agree - i hate hate people who "wear their church suits" (ie go every week but are the most unchristian people ever) and tut at me when i go in jeans or i bring my baby and he (god forbid) might cry, they'd tut if i didn't bring him and they tut if i do, the most imp thing is that it is not our job to judge others, it is gods job so i don't give a fiddler frig what other people in church think of me if i don't attend regularly. i believe that i don't have to go to church to pray, fingers crossed god listens to me anywhere and anytime i want a moan!!

 

[Lou]

Sweetcheeks make sure you don't commit yourself before you've really thought about this. You already have Jack to look after so you really need to be able to dedicate time if you are going to take on the responsibility of getting someones shopping or going over to help them out. I often walk around Tesco's and think 'I should have knocked next door to see if they needed anything picking up' But tbh it would be diferent if I'd commited myself to doing it on a certain day of the week. Especially days like today when I absolutely do not want to leave the house!

I'm not putting a downer on it hun, just be carefull you don't bite off more than you can chew so to speak

 

[melissa5317]

I'm what many would call a 'proper Christian' if there was such a thing - I go to church every month (I would go every sunday but I'm a particular synod of Lutheran and we have to have our pastor fly over from Germany once a month to do our services in London), I do bible studies, I pray a LOT, etc etc etc. The most important thing when choosing a church, I think, is to know what it is that you believe and then find a church that fits that description. My beliefs are very conservative so I've found it hard to find a church locally that fits what I believe, which is why I choose to go only once a month to a church that I 'fit' into, if that makes sense.

Don't worry about feeling like you're not a Christian if you do things that you feel make you behave like a non-Christian. First of all, we're all sinners, but that's why Christ died for us. Second of all, goodness knows I do my fair share of things that I'd never tell my mother, let alone my pastor, about! But I know that there's always forgiveness waiting for me on the other side of a prayer. Being good all the time isn't what makes you a Christian.

Maybe you could start by reading him some of your favourite stories out of the Bible? You might find that that piques both of your interest and gives you some stuff to think about when choosing a church. I hope you find what you need, hon!

 

[laetitia85]

I am a christian and I go to church every sunday, because I found the right church, one that I can call my home church. I go there for teaching and fellowship. Our pastor gives great teaching that applies to everyday life and it's a great place for worship.

Having said that, I do pray at home with my husband and we do bible study at home as well sometimes during the week. I could stay at home on sundays and just pray and worship at home instead of going to church, but I feel like I would miss out on fundamental teachings from our pastor because as a young christian I need help to understand certain aspects of the Bible.
However I strongly believe that church begins in the heart. It's a personal choice hun

 

[Krystal]

Thank you all for your replies

I have been giving this much thought and I am continuing to do so. I guess i'm trying to find out what I actually do believe in my heart. A bit of soul searching going on here lol.

 

[Noor~ul~Usman]

I just wanted to wish you luck huni
Obviously I can't really give any advice - as much as I'd love too! because it would probably be a bit inappropraite with some of the differences in belief - but I just wanted to say that you should do what feels right in your heart at the end of the day and I agree that finding a place of worship that fits your beliefs is important because tohers wise you might find you clash too much with the other followers and the (organisation's) expectations.

At the end of the day once children are old enough (probably teens lol ) they can start making up their own minds about the world because they'll understand it more. I see no problem mixing religion with sounds morals (at the end of the day the 3 main religions all support tight knit families and communities anyway). You don't have to 'brain wash' children to still give them a sense of religious zest
My direct family are all NON religious but that never stopped me from believing in God

Nice idea about the shopping trips etc...I tried that too but the little old lady next door (a nice christain lady) was still fit as a fiddle no matter how tiny she looked and politely advised she liked the fresh air