Hi all! I’m 35 weeks now and on the fence about what’s best for me and baby girl. I will be talking to the obgyn next week but just wanted some opinions here… My first baby in 2014 was an unplanned cesarean. Had an epidural, didn’t get past 9.5 cm in 16 hours, and then they let me decide to have a cesarean because I was exhausted and they weren’t sure I could even push him out. He was 8 lb 3 oz. Being a young mom, first timer, I was absolutely devastated and went through a lot mentally because of this. Second baby in 2016 was a VBAC. I progressed fine and was ready to push just 10 hours after my water broke at home. Had an epidural. The hospital screwed up and allowed me to push for 8 hours (yes 8). I was on my back the entire time. Afterwards I was paralyzed from my thighs down, spent 2 weeks in inpatient rehab, catheter for 9 weeks, physical therapy until 12 weeks. But even worse my son was born not breathing and no heartbeat with bleeding on the brain. He had a 2 week NICU stay. Thankfully he’s not had any lasting issues and is healthy. He was also 8 lb 3 oz. I have a new obgyn now. From the beginning of my pregnancy she’s said “I would just do a planned csection and not put you through all of that again”. It’s scheduled for April 5, at 39 weeks. Part of me still wants to try to deliver vaginally. I’m terrified of the surgery. I don’t want to die. Knowing my history, and being more educated, I would do things differently than my vbac. If I don’t get an epidural and can labor in different positions, instead of on my back, and my obgyn doesn’t allow me to push more than a few hours… is it worth a try? I know it might not work, and would understand that csection is a possibility. But I still want to try. Is that selfish of me after my last birth experience? (This baby has a different father, so could be smaller than my sons).