Can anyone relate ?
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tinytoes
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Maybe I should elaborate more ? To the detriment of relationships , friendships , children and life in general . Is there an underlying issue ? He fails to be able to separate work /gaming /socialising . He is trying now because I threatened to leave him but he's so strange with me now . Not affectionate and struggles to make conversation ita like spending time with the kids and I is a chore ?
Hope81
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Sorry i don't but I didn't want to r&r.
I know from med school that gambling is a serious addiction though that most of the times needs psychological professional help to brake so dont feel hurt if he just can't stop doing it. It Dosent necessary mean that he Dosent care for you or the kids.
I know from med school that gambling is a serious addiction though that most of the times needs psychological professional help to brake so dont feel hurt if he just can't stop doing it. It Dosent necessary mean that he Dosent care for you or the kids.
tinytoes
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I asked his friend for advice as he said himself he had noticed that he was being very strange . He says that before we met he would spent up to fourteen or fifteen hours airing in the dark playing games (similar to now) and that he seems to be depressed . I've asked him to see a doctor an he won't 
his attempts to try baffle me . For example watching two hours of tv and then without saying a word going back to his office or waking me up when he comes to bed for sex but not understanding that im tired and up early and he gets to stay in bed
his attempts to try baffle me . For example watching two hours of tv and then without saying a word going back to his office or waking me up when he comes to bed for sex but not understanding that im tired and up early and he gets to stay in bed
Hope81
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I suppose getting him to admit that there is a problem and he needs help will not be so easy 
After all you can't force an adult to seek medical help
Did you discuss it with him? Or sent him an email. Maybe when he sees how hurt you feel it will be enough for him to admit there is a problem?
I am so sorry you are going through all these
After all you can't force an adult to seek medical help
Did you discuss it with him? Or sent him an email. Maybe when he sees how hurt you feel it will be enough for him to admit there is a problem?
I am so sorry you are going through all these
tinytoes
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I've discussed it over and over to the point where he tells me to leave him alone . I try to be affectionate and I feel like i am pawing at him because he doesn't reciprocate like he used to , I bring him tea and bake cakes in a silly effort to be sweet I suggest walks and trips to the park and he's not interested . He's trying but its soul destroying having to beg for his attention.
I suggest walks and trips to the park and he's not interested . He's trying but its soul destroying having to beg for his attention.
Hope81
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Awww
It looks like it may be more than just gambling?
Maybe he is stressed about Lilly? Or because of your brothers living with you?
Is it sth recent or it's going on for long time?
Do you think maybe a weekend away would help?
Though I suppose no way to get child care for the kiddies.
It looks like it may be more than just gambling?
Maybe he is stressed about Lilly? Or because of your brothers living with you?
Is it sth recent or it's going on for long time?
Do you think maybe a weekend away would help?
Though I suppose no way to get child care for the kiddies.
tinytoes
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I do think there has to be an element of stress I mean how could anyone not be stressed in this situation :shrug: but this is going on since Aoibheann was born and apparently after his mother passed away too until he moved here and we met . I understand depression and stress and I have my fair share of it what makes me so crazy angry is his refusal to face it iykwim ? I'm afraid that shocking him by walking away would make it worse at the moment he won't shower or eat unless I remind him what would happen if I left ? I jut don't know how to force him to get help
Hope81
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I suppose you can't speak to a psychologist or maybe the social worker that helps you with your brothers to maybe advice you how to approach the subject.
I know because faced one million times before with patients that you can't force an adult to seek medical or psychiatric help unless he wants it or judge order
I am afraid that most of them they only seek help when they hit the bottom
I don't know if walking away would help. It's risky but sth has to be done??
I know because faced one million times before with patients that you can't force an adult to seek medical or psychiatric help unless he wants it or judge order
I am afraid that most of them they only seek help when they hit the bottom
I don't know if walking away would help. It's risky but sth has to be done??
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My o/h enjoys online gaming, but it's only a couple hours. He is however addicted to MY bloody iPad. However not to the extreme you are describing. It sounds like you're making a great effort and particularly because of all the other stresses you have in your life.
It actually sounds like he might need help as it does nearly sound like an addiction. I'm sorry I have nothing helpful to say but wanted to give you some hugs xx
It actually sounds like he might need help as it does nearly sound like an addiction. I'm sorry I have nothing helpful to say but wanted to give you some hugs xx
tinytoes
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Thank you both 
quiet honestly if it wasn't for the kids i think I'd have given up . I spend half the time wondering is it something about me that makes him feel the need to absorb himself in a fantasy world ? he used to be so hands on and affectionate now he just points out all if the things I do wrong . The cups arent washed right , the washing machine is leaking again , the girls are being loud , nobody has clean clothes because I can't keep up with the washing ect ect
quiet honestly if it wasn't for the kids i think I'd have given up . I spend half the time wondering is it something about me that makes him feel the need to absorb himself in a fantasy world ? he used to be so hands on and affectionate now he just points out all if the things I do wrong . The cups arent washed right , the washing machine is leaking again , the girls are being loud , nobody has clean clothes because I can't keep up with the washing ect ect
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Omg I'm shocked! You are like wonder woman! The amount that you have to deal with and are so selfless you deserve a medal. He should be supporting you and telling you how fabulous you are! Maybe all the stress of the last few months is what he trying to escape from rather than you personally? Your wee family have been thru a lot xx
DaisyPurple
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Oh Sinead, I wish that I could sprinkle some magic over your life right now, you have so much to deal with, as for your OH, I know its hard to deal with, but I do think that he needs to talk to somebody, men.don't deal with things the same way as we do, it sounds like he is suffering with stress you mentioned he lost his mum, it can.take years to come to terms with losing a parent, but the effects of grief can be quite traumatic to the sufferer and those left to pick up the pieces, I'm always here if you need to talk, just send me a pm and it will let.me know to look via my phone . God bless x
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Lolly85x
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Not my personal experience, but a very close friend of mine had an awful time with her now ex boyfriend over online gaming. He was addicted to that warcraft stuff... In the end that's why they split up.
His whole life ended up becoming revolved round about it.
Certain times he 'had' to be online.
The amount of hours he played it.
He would play untill the early hours in the morning, and then go to work.
It was really hard for her, he never admitted he had a problem.
Then things blew up massively with them and I remember he took his computer to his mums house, to see if it was the problem and he got extremely agitated and basically withdrawal symptoms from playing,..
Unfortunately things didn't work out between them, he wouldn't admit he had a problem.
Sorry this isn't of any help to you, but just to show you it is a real addiction, that people need help over coming, like drugs, cigarets etc...xxx
His whole life ended up becoming revolved round about it.
Certain times he 'had' to be online.
The amount of hours he played it.
He would play untill the early hours in the morning, and then go to work.
It was really hard for her, he never admitted he had a problem.
Then things blew up massively with them and I remember he took his computer to his mums house, to see if it was the problem and he got extremely agitated and basically withdrawal symptoms from playing,..
Unfortunately things didn't work out between them, he wouldn't admit he had a problem.
Sorry this isn't of any help to you, but just to show you it is a real addiction, that people need help over coming, like drugs, cigarets etc...xxx
DaisyPurple
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Lol sweetie I'm.glad you read it before I edited xx
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I had indeed was just too flustered to actually reply 
Hope81
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I just reread this thread ! I honestly thought its about gambling with money not gaming. Sorry for that!
Online gaming is usually for fun, need to control the situation and escape from every day life.
What game is he playing?
What I would do is to play the game with him a couple of h per week and see how that will go.
I did that at the beginning of our relationship with my oh. It actually worked and he stopped playing for h on weekends. He was looking forward on playing with me a couple of h and eventually we didn't play at all or very very rarely as we are both busy doctors after all.
What he loved in the game is the relaxation that was getting. He soon found out that we can relax doing things together and soon after that that we do t have to be in front of a pc to relax.
Nowadays we still play the odd night maybe once per 2-3 months and he gets all excited making popcorn and getting a drink lol...
Sometimes you have to approach them like little babies!!!!
Online gaming is usually for fun, need to control the situation and escape from every day life.
What game is he playing?
What I would do is to play the game with him a couple of h per week and see how that will go.
I did that at the beginning of our relationship with my oh. It actually worked and he stopped playing for h on weekends. He was looking forward on playing with me a couple of h and eventually we didn't play at all or very very rarely as we are both busy doctors after all.
What he loved in the game is the relaxation that was getting. He soon found out that we can relax doing things together and soon after that that we do t have to be in front of a pc to relax.
Nowadays we still play the odd night maybe once per 2-3 months and he gets all excited making popcorn and getting a drink lol...
Sometimes you have to approach them like little babies!!!!
