Breastfeeding now compared to years ago..

[nori]

Hi All,

This is really more of a discussion than a question. Ive spoken with a fair few people recently about breastfeeding including the older generation as im keen to give it a go.

Maybe the older mums i have spoken to have just been lucky, but it seems that they didnt have half as many problems with breastfeeding compared to the mums that are having babies today. They just seem to say they just did it and didnt have a problem "just got on with it".. yet so many people today have problems with technique etc..

Just wondering why you think that is? Do you think its cos they throw you out of hospital so soon and you dont get the help? Do you think its the fact that there is a lot of pressure on breastfeeding and the mums now arent as relaxed? or do you think that the older mums are just lying? lol

It just doesnt make sense...

Claire x

 

[beanie]

I think that because we have become a society where bottle feeding is seen as the norm and that we don't have the extended family support we used to, the techniques have been lost. Before women grew up seeing babies being breastfed and would know a few woman who had done so who would help them. Also today women are expected to get back to "normal" asap, including being discharged from hospital quicker, and not having the bedding in period other societies seem to have. We also have to return to work which can cause problems with breastfeeding.

 

[charlie84]

Well my mum had difficulties with breastfeeding me to start with she had an awful midwife who literally got my head and squished it into my mums boob then decided that it was no good i was to have a bottle.
Well to cut a long story short she sought help from her own mother who gave her sound advice and i was breastfed from then on in. So were my brother and sister. My mum cant remember if she had many problems with the whole breastfeeding thing.
So really i dont know whether it was easier back then or not, i think we have more outlets in which we can ask for advice which may seem like there are more issues nowadays than back then, but i think its just more of a case that people talk about it. Before it was kept in the family. If you know what i mean.

 

[LisaJ1986]

I wasn't breastfed. So i have no one to discuss this with. Therefore no full support with what i'm doing either as my sisters bottlefeed.

I found it fairly easy in the early days. I had no latching problems, it was just very tiring. You do have some obstacles along the way even if it is easy in the beginning!

I found the mw's on the ward won't help if you don't ask. I had a bit of extra help due to Angel having a temp problem so they wanted me to do it the best way to keep her warm. And as i had to ring the bell every time she woke for a feed they would swiftly ask if i needed any help. I only found the first 24 hours hard as i wasn't allowed to hold her without ringing for someone first, and that was only done when i needed to feed her.

You just basically need to ask whenever you need it. Don't expect to just get on with it as it doesn't really work like that.

 

[daftscotslass]

Just wondering why you think that is? Do you think its cos they throw you out of hospital so soon and you dont get the help? Do you think its the fact that there is a lot of pressure on breastfeeding and the mums now arent as relaxed? or do you think that the older mums are just lying?

In the area I come from there is a lot of pressure to breastfeed, especially as the hospital I was at is all for the UNICEF baby friendly initiative (though I believe for the "ticking the good hospital box" factor rather than actually giving a toss about mothers and babies). I also got a lot of pressure to breastfeed from other angles, including my mother and grandmother, both of whom formula fed their babies. All through my pregnancy (bar what I read on here) I was bombarded with the idea that not only was it the best for baby, it was something that happened naturally and, bar getting the latch correct, it would be something straightforward. It was what I wanted to do at the time so I didn't really consider the pressure then as I do now, having had no choice but to bottlefeed for medical reasons.

When it came to the crunch following the birth there was still the pressure but not the support. Not from the medical profession (though I asked repeatedly when I was flat on my back unable to move let alone pick up my daughter) nor my family.

 

[heles7]

I haven't yet met a breastfeeding mummy who hasn't said that the first few weeks were difficulty and painful. Other mums I've spoken too who have breastfed within the last year in one case, and about eight years in another case both told me 'it shouldn't hurt' which put so much pressure on me and worry that i was doing it all wrong. I wish at the start somebody had just said 'yes - it will hurt for three week and after that there will be no problems!'

I think for the older generation who have that many more years since the experience, they have forgotten the painful bits since it's generally short lived and followed by many happy pain free feeds.

Thats what I like to think anyway!!!

 

[Suzie and Faith]

Hmm, I don't know really... My mum had 5 kids, her first when she was 18 and the fifth when she was 40 and it was only the 5th that she successfully breastfed (my brother). She thinks that it took her that long to learn what to do! And she says she was given very little support when she tried with her first and no one asked her what she wanted to do with the 2nd baby so she never even tried with that one!

I think a lot of it depends on the care.

No one told me I had flat nipples! I just thought that nipples came in different shapes and sizes and hadn't realised that mine would cause me problems. I may have been more determined if I had known that straight away!
Then again it wouldn't have mattered as Fi needs soya so I wouldn't have been able to breastfeed.



I think bottle feeding is more socially acceptable than in the past - in the way that it is seen as normal...

 

[BabyMagic]

My mum mixed fed us up to three months. She had c-section with both of us under general anastetics, and we were taken away for a night so that she could sleep. Meanwhile we were given formula. Needless to say she struggled to feed us.

My honoury granny breastfed for a few days only as her babies were apparently so hungry that they drew blood on her. They must have done that because babies weren't latched properly.

Both my mum and honoury granny say that they didn't get that much support, and were soon encouraged to feed formula.

When as I didn't have problems with BF:ing. I wanted to have a natural approach to pregnancy, birth and bringing up an infant. Maybe this attitude helped but I am one of these rare mums that I honestly cannot remember having any trouble even in the first weeks - apart from pretty painful contractions when LO fed in the early days. Having said that maybe I just can't remember or maybe I just took it all as part of experience???

I didn't get any support in hospital (not that I asked for it). The only thing the midwife said that I had 'perfect' nipples for breastfeeding, and asking me to check that LO's lower lip wasn't sucked into her mouth when feeding. I was lucky to be able to have loads of skin to skin with my baby and that I was pretty much left on my own so that I could just let my mother's insticts working.

My greatest support has been my OH as he agrees with how I have been bringing up our child up to date. I feel very lucky to have a partner like him.

I think it's just one of those things that everyone's experience is different.

Good luck for you - I hope you will have a beautiful breastfeeding experience. It truly is possible

 

[beanie]

My greatest support has been my OH as he agrees with how I have been bringing up our child up to date. I feel very lucky to have a partner like him.

aww that is fab. My OH is the same, he tells me how proud he is that I have breastfed both the girls. a supportive partner is the best support ever.

My OH's gran tells me that when she had her third child (she was in her mid 30s) she was told by the Dr she was too old to breastfeed which really upset her. She is always telling me about breastfeeding her children when I feed Cally when we are there. His grandad is even better, I remember going into the kitchen to feed Seren when she was teeny and I was shy, and he asked where I was, when he found out I had gone to breastfeed he said I should stay in the living room with the family, and that it is only a tit (he is Polish and very literal lol). Having a breastfeeding friendly family is very helpful.

 

[sparky]

my mum said that people just 'got on with it' too. She also said that she was in hospital for 10 days (two weeks if you already had children at home) and they used to take the babies away at night and feed them with communal breastmilk that they used to collect via a wee cup on the booby not being used during feeding...so i wonder if getting a full nights sleep after having a baby for a good week helped? She was horrified that her daughters were all chucked out of hospital so soon

I think a lot of it is to do with the fact that woman are no longer just mothers and wives and liberation has had its hand in it all. A lot of people felt trapped by bf'ing as back then there really was'nt anywhere for them to go and feed, which is why most stopped after the first few months.

I think that most women back then were tougher beings than we are now, or perhaps their expectations of what they wanted out of motherhood/life were different.

She knows quite a lot about the current advice/cultural differences etc surrounding bf'ing etc, as my sister is expecting also, she said that she would be held in high esteem now, what with bfing 4 babies within 4 years of each other and using cloth nappies etc...as disposables were only for the rich!

Interestingly tho, she said that she felt releived that i couldnt breastfeed as she didnt enjoy it much, although she felt proud that i gave it a good shot, it was more because i was following my instincts of what was best for my child and myself.

I have two sisters, one never bf the other who is pregnant for number 4 bfed them all to a year, but she never did this for any medical or social benefits, just as it was cheaper and she found it easier!

God this has turned into an essay, but what i am trying to say is that there is more information now, more pressure, but also woman have changed as beings over the past 50 years dramatically...and for the better i might add.

I always thank God that we are in a position to have a choice these days!

 

[abcd1234]

I know my mums mum couldn't breastfeed at least one of her children, my mum thinks it weas due to mal-nutrition as they were really poor, apparently she use to feed mt auntie formula if she could afford it and watered down condensed milk the rest of the time, she's probably the fittest outta the 4 of them now lol.

my mum only managed 6 weeks with me, less with my brother as he was too hungry for her and my sister would not latcgh on due to a thyroid problem.

i think it's harder now for mums as there's so much pressure to get back to normal and do so much that sitting with a baby on your boob 24/7 just isnt practical anymore, sometime getting the latch right can take a long time and people arnt given that, or the support.

Because i have nothing to do most days i have the time to sit and BF her whenever she wants it, but now she's getting bigger even for me it's getting difficult. I really respect those whp do it with a job or other kids as well

 

[NickyB]

My MIL breastfed, she found it difficult and painful at first too, but in those days you were kept in hospital for about five days. I think that leaving 24 hours after birth, even if you wanted to like me, has a lot to answer for.

 

[Squiglet]

My mum breastfed me... she said back in her day it was completely not the done thing... people were used to bottle feeding. But she'd had had 4 miscarriages and a still born before me and said she would do anything to give me the best. She eventually gave up though when they went on holiday with me when I was 7 months, because they were staying in a hotel and she wasn't sure how people would react to her feeding a big baby.

My mum prepared me for the worst things, breast pain, bleeding nipples, mastitis , but yer.... she just got on with it... My mum was in hospital for a few days after she had me (7 months before though she was in hospital and was desperate to get home)... she only left for 2 hours the day after to get all the baby things... cot, clothes...etc.. she was so scared she'd loose me, that she didn't buy anything for me .She said she left some boob juice and after that I never left her sight.

When I had Tia it was very much the same mentality... breast is best, but no help at all and I just got on with breastfeeding Tia. You have to really want to do it, in order to succeed though.