Im feeling really crappy about failing at bfing. Its my own fault and its got to me now as Im sure everyone thinks Im a bad mother for not doing it.
When she was first born I wanted to BF and did to start but a few days in she was crying all the time and not latching on at all, no matter how hard the midwife tried either to get her on she still got agitated and cried. But we persevered.
She did get milk but bcos of all the crying my health visitor suggested buying a pump and expressing so I did and this she loved, crying stopped completely and she gets enough to eat. The health visitor said my flow was slow and if I hadnt had done this she would hav lost weight. But from that day on shes totally refused my breast.
This was all going fine till about a week or two ago when for one reason or another Ive not been expressing enough and topped her up on formula. She takes it fine and is healthy but now my supply has dwindled and Im scared to even sit there and try to express bcos I feel so bad that ive let this happen- so I avoid the disappointment,which is like making it even worse and my supplys right down.
My OH has been going on about me not doing it and hinting that he's disappointed in me but I panic, even the though of expressing is panicking me no end because of the disappointment and guilt I feel- I cant explian well tho as I kno that by avoiding it, my milk will only decrease.
Im sure ull think Im being pathetic too, I feel it. I didnt mean to let this happen but being we've been having so many visitors Ive been entertaining and the housework and generally being knackered formula just became a welcome quick relief and now Im losing my milk and ppl think Scarlett is suffering.
If breast is best and I had it, what does this say about me and what Im feeding her? I wish I could have done things differently but ive got myself into such a state eveytime i feed her now I feel bad as tho the world is judging me for not giving her breast milk.
When she was first born I wanted to BF and did to start but a few days in she was crying all the time and not latching on at all, no matter how hard the midwife tried either to get her on she still got agitated and cried. But we persevered.
She did get milk but bcos of all the crying my health visitor suggested buying a pump and expressing so I did and this she loved, crying stopped completely and she gets enough to eat. The health visitor said my flow was slow and if I hadnt had done this she would hav lost weight. But from that day on shes totally refused my breast.
This was all going fine till about a week or two ago when for one reason or another Ive not been expressing enough and topped her up on formula. She takes it fine and is healthy but now my supply has dwindled and Im scared to even sit there and try to express bcos I feel so bad that ive let this happen- so I avoid the disappointment,which is like making it even worse and my supplys right down.
My OH has been going on about me not doing it and hinting that he's disappointed in me but I panic, even the though of expressing is panicking me no end because of the disappointment and guilt I feel- I cant explian well tho as I kno that by avoiding it, my milk will only decrease.
Im sure ull think Im being pathetic too, I feel it. I didnt mean to let this happen but being we've been having so many visitors Ive been entertaining and the housework and generally being knackered formula just became a welcome quick relief and now Im losing my milk and ppl think Scarlett is suffering.
If breast is best and I had it, what does this say about me and what Im feeding her? I wish I could have done things differently but ive got myself into such a state eveytime i feed her now I feel bad as tho the world is judging me for not giving her breast milk.