Bit of a moan about my friends :(

[pickled_onion]

Anyone else feeling a bit lacking in the friendship and support department at the mo? Bar one, none of my friends have children and I don't know whether I've turned into a baby bore or they just don't know how to relate to me at the moment but they've kinda gone quiet on me. Scarcely bothering since finding out I was pregnant. I dunno if this is a coincidence but I fear not. I dunno if folks think I'm going to change radically or what. I don't think I am. It's not like I saw some of these people all that regularly anyway as they don't live close by but we used to phone and message/email a lot and meet up when we could.

Seriously, you'd think I had the plague or something

I've heard people talking about friends dropping like flies after babies come along but mine seem to have scarpered in advance. I did try to raise the issue with some of them towards the end of last year but didn't get much in the way of response or reassurance.

It just makes me sad. Some of these people I've been close to for years and years. I guess after bubs arrives as well as adjusting to being a mummy and to life with a little one, I'll have to force myself to get out and meet new people. Bleh. I'm not the easiest person to get to know and I'm not particularly confident entering groups either but I think I'll go a bit mad if I don't

 

[mudgey]

I know exactly how you feel

None of my friends have actually dropped me yet but they dont seem interested in anything baby related and I feel like I have to almost pretend Im not pregnant sometimes when all I want to do is shout it from the rooftops! Thing is none of them have children but most are nannies like me so I guess I expected a bit more support really, maybe thats just my hormones making me touchy though.

I just get the distinct impression that they'll all visit when bubba arrives and brings presents etc but then it will tail off and I'll be little miss no mates sat at home I know how you feel about meeting new people too, its scary but then I just tell myself most of the people on here seem really friendly so Im sure most mums everywhere are the same And having bubba will be the perfect ice breaker too hopefully as he/she will be so gorgeous (Okay Im biased ) that people wont be able to resist talking to me

In a way Im actually looking forward to the groups, Im at them all the time as a nanny and I get the how old are yours questions, then when I say they're not mine I get blanked!! Hopefully as bubba will be mine people will actually want to talk to me!

Just try to look at it as a way to meet new people, even if you only meet one they will gradually introduce you to others Im sure And keep making the effort with your old friends, send a text occasionally and chatty e mails. Maybe they just dont know how to react when you talk baby as they havent been through it

 

[pickled_onion]

and I feel like I have to almost pretend Im not pregnant sometimes when all I want to do is shout it from the rooftops!

Exactly.

I suppose you can't totally get it (pregnancy, parenthood) until you've been there so maybe I am being a little unfair. And the hormones are no doubt making me feel a bit over-sensitive.

And having bubba will be the perfect ice breaker too hopefully as he/she will be so gorgeous (Okay Im biased ) that people wont be able to resist talking to me

Yeah, that's a good way to look at it. Thanks for replying mudgey I was sat here feeling a bit sorry for myself!

 

[mudgey]

Glad I helped a bit Maybe try and find someone nearby who is due around the same time before baby actually arrives if thats possible? Easier said than done but at least that way when you start groups you wont have the initial horror of walking in alone

And rest assured most groups are friendly so do make the effort to go, I know they're friendly to parents anyway, just not so nice if you're a nanny Im always said hello to when I first go anywhere new at work so if the children were mine Im sure they'd be chatty!

 

[pickled_onion]

Eek. After moaning about this, I messaged one of my mates and it turns out I have been reading way too much into his quietness lately. Self-obsessed onion! I guess I forget sometimes that other people have big stuff going on in their lives too. I'm so caught up in thinking about the baby.

I feel silly now.

 

[emman24]

Aww Roz . Sorry to hear you've been feeling a bit let down by your friends. Being pregnant is such a strange thing, I know its all I think about or want to talk about, which is why I come one here so much. My friends who have either been pregnant or who are interested in babies are great, the others aren't really interested.

Plus all the hormones do make things harder, its so hard to tell whether they are making things seem worse or if its genuine. No need to feel silly tho, everyone goes through it. And most people make allowances for pregnant woman, I know a lot of my friends got used me being grumpy

Anyway, just wanted to give you

 

[pickled_onion]

^ Thanks Emma

 

[Sugarhigh]

i just wanted to give everyone hugs lol

where in Scotland are you girls? we are all due around the same time so could possibly meet up along with the other ladies from round scotland too

 

[pickled_onion]

Hehe. Hugs are good.

I'd definitely be up for a Scotland meet at some stage. I'm up in Aberdeenshire but happy enough to travel.