Birthing plans

[nori]

Hi All,

I sometimes wonder if these are a good idea. My friend has had her little girl (yesterday) and she was breach and had to have a c -section. Both are fine and doing well so all is good.

I just feel that when you are made to think about the "ideal" birth it may give you more reason to feel gutted if it doesnt go to plan afterwards?

Im hoping to do this birth as naturally as possible but i realise that anything can happen as its out of my control to a certian extent. I would love to say i wont be a little gutted if i cant have the birth id like but i know that because i've had to think about every little detail i will be gutted.

I hope this doesnt sound negative as im still looking forward to the big day and all that matters is having a healthy baby, but sometimes wonder if the ignorance of not covering every detail maybe the best option?

Dunno...

Claire x

 

[Charmed]

I think the fact that your thinking that its 'possible' you may not have your perfect birth as planned is actually very healthy.

I'm trying to keep an open mind as far as my birth plan is concerned. I have put my preferences down but I'm also realistic enough to know that it may not go the way I want so hopefully I won't feel too gutted should that happen. I think the best way is to relax as much as possible about the birth, don't let yourself be bullied into something you don't want (unless its absolutely necessary) and make sure your partner knows exactly what you want so they can back you up when perhaps your not in the best frame of mind to stand up for yourself.

 

[daftscotslass]

I would have a plan but state quite clearly in it that you're flexible in terms of what happens. You can state what pain relief you'd prefer but obviously you won't truly know what you need until you're in labour. I found it especially useful because the midwives were very clear on things I had written down such as I wanted to be the one to tell the sex of the baby and that OH or I wanted to cut the cord. I found them quite pushy about offering diamorphine and it was the fact I had written down that I specifically did not want that form of pain relief that made them stop asking me.

It helps to get things semi-organised in your head. My birth was nowhere near what my plan said and I do sometimes still dwell on it but I don't feel that my being disappointed about the experience was anything to do with having written a birth plan. What will be will be etc!

 

[ninjawomble]

My birth plan is very laid back, my main priority is getting bubba out safely.
Ive done this as I know things change and as its me Im pretty much expecting it lol

Ive just written basics:- tens machine for latent labour, want to be as active as possible, dont want an epidural if possible.

 

[sparky]

just have the things that are important re finding out the sex, cutting the cord..then just take it how it comes..

i didnt have a birth plan...wasnt prepared and managed without any pain relief whatsoever (although that was because there was no time...otherwise i would of had stuff), i think its impossible to prepare or predict for it and setting yourself 'goals' might lead to disappointment

 

[rach]

its something ive never bothered with but then im quite vocal about what i want and dont want i think they are a great idea if your not very outspoken or are afraid that when in pain you wont be able to get your point across but much easier to just go with the flow
on my 1st child i was adamant i didnt want an epidural and got very stressed out about it all which didnt help and i ended up having an epidural anyway plus everything else i could get lol on my 2nd child i went with the flow they kept offering me pain relief but i just told them to leave me alone and i would soon ask for it should i need it and ended up coping a lot better and only having a bit of gas and air for the pushing stage last time was section and this time will be so cant comment on those just know in your own mind how you would like things to go but realise also that it might not go that way xxxxxxx

 

[EllieBelle]

Im going to write a birth plan, but then like you am very realistic that things might not go to plan........and I dont think it will bother me too much if things change - I just want to ensure my baby is ok.

One thing I am sure of is that I DO NOT want pethadine, or similar, as I dont react well to drugs that can cause sickness etc.......yes Ill take the epidural if I need it (hoping to go without).

Im hoping to stay totally open minded, yet have a few "must haves" where possible!

Saying that Im pretty outspoken, but my DH is something else and will certainly ensure I am not pressurised into anything.

 

[lea m]

Yeh as someone said already, it is best to have an open mind when thinking about labour!
My birth plan is I want Joe with me and I want an epidural! I trust the midwives to do whats best with me and I know they will only do things like give you the drip, and episiotomy etc if you really need one! I was the same with all my others (well different pain relief lol but you know what I mean) I didnt want to see the birth as going one way then be disappointed or upset if it went a different way!

 

[Sherlock]

I never saw writing my birth plan as my 'ideal' for birth. Just my way of getting clear how I hoped certain things could be done, conditions permitting. And if not, then there were certain things I wanted to cover in case of emergency (personal wishes etc) that may not be heard if not written down so OH can speak up.

I never had a picture in my head that my birth experience would go just so. I was open minded, prepared for all eventualities and wrote a homebirth plan and a hospital emergency one that covered a few things. Its all well and good saying Doctors know best, but I will never ever have blind faith in anyone and allow them to do something without at least knowing my POV or wishes.

Simple things such as hoping to remain active/upright for as long as possible when in first stage labour, to be able to use a birthpool, waiting for the cord to stop pulsing before being cut (if conditions allow it), not bathing my baby just towelling off.. those sorts of things I think if you'd like for them to happen you need to speak up, write them down and make sure MW and Doctors know. I certainly didn't want the cord cut before it had stopped pulsing and was keen to not have my baby bathed for at least 10 days after birth. I also wanted to deliver the placenta in my own time without drugs to aid this. Had I had my son in hospital I am pretty sure these things would have been done unless clearly stated to not do so.

Here is my hospital one (as planning a homebirth this was only if I had to transfer and covered a fair few points)

*My birth partner is my husband Daniel.
*I am asthmatic but well controlled by inhalers. Daniel knows what I take and when etc.
*I feel positive about labour and would like it to be as natural as possible. I will listen to my body and instincts.
*I wish to keep as mobile as possible for as long as possible.
*I don't wish to have constant monitoring if at all possible. I am happy with checks at regular intervals.
*I do not wish to lie down or recline unless I really have to. I would prefer to be either upright or semi upright and not putting pressure on my coccyx and lower back as I want to work with gravity to deliver baby, not against it.
*As IV drug free as possible please. I am open to an epidural but will ask if I feel I need it. I hope to manage with breathing techniques, massage, birthing ball, TENS, gas and air , shower/bath and water birth if possible.
*I am not keen on drugs to speed up delivery unless there is a real danger to myself or the baby. I wish to labour naturally for as long as it takes. I don't wish to feel I am delivering against the clock.
*If a drip is absolutely necessary then it's to be a very low dose which is not increased without my permission.
*Birthing pool for pain relief and possibly to deliver baby in. If I can I hope to deliver baby into my arms myself, but realise this may be beyond me and MW will need to help.
*As little interference (for want of a better word) from MW as possible. If at home my MW has told me she is very hands off and this works for me. If in hospital I realise it will be because I *have* to be there and that remaining hands off might not be an option but I still want as little medical interference as is possible where possible.
*Being left with baby for as long as we wish after if all is well. I'd rather bond and feed before worrying about cleaning baby up.
*Deliver the placenta naturally in own time if possible. Not worried about cutting the cord too soon. Would like to let is stop pulsing first. Husband to cut cord if he wishes.
*Vitamin K injection for baby - yes please
*I plan to breastfeed, and would like to be encouraged to do so as soon as possible.
*Flexible to changes in my birth plan should it be medically necessary
*My husband is to make decisions for me if I am unable to for whatever reason.

Also the follwing -

*May consider a student if in hospital but would like to be asked first and to meet the student in question before agreeing.
*Dim lighting etc
*Fresh air via open windows if possible if warm in room. I cannot tolerate overly hot or stuffy rooms well.

 

[Redshoes]

I think writing a birth plan is educational as it does make you consider every option and in that you decide which you'd favour, but keeping an open mind and going with what your body tells you at the time will always prevail I do understand the after effects of expecting things to go as planned when they don't, I was very low after having Isaac because everything went against my plan. It's perfectly fine to have preferences though and don't think it a negative thing wanting certain things, its good to think positive about your birth too, and EVERY birth is different too so you cannot plan, both my babies were exact opposites hehe very best wishes

 

[xmcnickyx]

I don't have a lot of options in my labour, being induced due to Gestational Diabetes is likely to require me having 3 different drips so I'm going for an epidural as well (what's another drip, cathetar and CTG monitor when you've got 3 drips !)

So the few bits I've got left in terms of options, I'm going to write down but theres not many things left for me to ask for. If I wasn't being induced though, I'd probably just write down the things I knew I wanted to happen, before the GD, I'd said I'd go with the flow and see how I felt at the time.