Birthing Partners?????

[LucyH]

Hi all,

I have been reading a lot about this in magazines - I am shocked to see that a lot of people do not want their partners / hubby's / OH's in the room during labour??

I always wanted my Hubby there and I have asked my mum to be there too - its her first grandchild! (Plus I know my sis wouldn't have her there, I knew she loved to be there) I always thought they would be perfect!

I couldn't imagine my hubby not being there - I know he will probably annoy me alot! But I want him to see all the pain I go thru and then hopefully he will appreciate all the hard work US WOMEN go thru!!

What are everyone elses thoughts & opinions?

And who are you having in the room with you??

 

[AugustMum]

Im only having the FOB in the room with me. I knew from the beginning that I only wanted him in the room. Although I know my mum would love to be there I just feel it will be a better experience with just the two of us. Were not together but were still very close and I feel he would be the most supportive person I could think of.

I cant imagine people not wanting their partners to be there! That seems a bit odd to me, but obviously makes sense for others x

 

[bearsmummy]

My mum is the only person i'm having in with me x

 

[titch]

I wouldnt have my Mum there. I dunno why, it just never occured to me as an option. I think I very much see it as something for me and my OH as a couple. It our special day welcoming our son into the world. I'd be horrified if he wasnt planning on being there!

 

[MrsR]

First time I had my sister there x I desperatly did not want my mother there but she turned up and basically forced herself in the room until I swore at her! Oooops x this time I am praying for a home birth and my OH will be there as well as my DD if she wants but with the option of my mil taking her if she becomes distressed x I can't wait x x

 

[bearsmummy]

My mums the only person i have to be there lol. Even if OH was still around i think i'd want her though she's my rock x

 

[titch]

My mums my rock too, but I cant be strong around her at all! If im having a bad day and she phones me all she has to say is "is everything alright?" and Im a blubbering wreck!!! I'd be terrible in labour if I had her around!!!!

 

[Mervs Mum]

I only had my hubby there but...

I'm training to be a doula as I know there are lots of women who feel they'd like the support of another woman and might not feel they have someone they 'know' who fits the bill Some women know their hubbys would be more hindrance than help or could use some support themselves and more are turning to trained birth partners like doulas

 

[LucyH]

WOW Thanks for all the comments!!! yeh OH / partner - etc... I am glad you are all on the same page as me!!! My due date is Sept 1st and my Hubby doesn't get back to this country till 25th August (he is currently away with the Navy)!! Really hoping I don't go early, this is my first baby, so I'm assuming I will be late (Fingers crossed)!!!! Bless him, we will both be devastated if he cannot make it!

Yeh I think mums - have mixed feelings!! I reckon you should have who ever you feel comfortable & happy with xx

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

I had my OH and my mum there when I had lace! Tbh tim didn't do bugger all! He turned up just before I gave birth and faced the wall, he didn't even hold my hand! I think he was scared! My mum was brill!! Held me the whole way through and was really encouraging! She'll be there next time too but it's up to tim if he wants to be in the room or outside!! Lol

 

[LucyH]

hehehe awwwww I cant imagine my hubby in there with me!!! I dont know how he will be.... He nearly faints at the site of my cut finger..... Oh Dear!! i know my mum will keep me grounded and stop me swearing!! lol Mums are the best!! lolx

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

My mum even cut the cord!! It'll be the proudest moment for your mum watching her grandchild being born

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

Hubby and Mum - Mum because she has gone through it four times and has that understanding that OH can never have. Its important to me that she is there, I was really upset when at first she said no. It was because she found me being rushed off to theatre last time very traumatic indeed. I think she is looking forward to it now though!

 

[inky]

I don't think I would be be very brave at all if my mum was there, I do want her to be at the hospital, and she can come in as soon as baby's born but it's strictly just me and OH otherwise

 

[Annie050408]

DH will be there with me and I wouldn't have it any other way, not would he.

Mum being there is not something I'd ever consider as she would not be there to support, she'd be there to advise and take over completely and although she is a great mum, she is just not someone I want to be around when I am in pain and stressed.

 

[Simoneh00]

I'm having my Dad in with me

 

[evajo]

I only had my OH with the last three and swore to myself that if i ever had another one i wouldn't want him there! He will be at birthn(its at home) but i want him out of the way during labour. I should explain that he frustrated me so much during my last lanour as he sat in the same seat in the same room - opposite to me and talked about his work - to the extent that even the mw's forgot about me! He was rubbish didn't support me and even told me my last was a boy when she was a girl! It got me so stressed that for the sake of or marriage i think its best he leave me too it this time. I'm having my cousin there with me and she is supporting me well already - we have gone through birth pans and i have given her very clear ideas about how i expect things to be and how i labour and the atmosphere i want to create. My children will be about to as daughter is very keen to watch, I am happy for them to drift in and out as they please as my sis is coming over just to make sure they are okay.

So I can understand why some women would not want there OH's there and deffinately why so many on here are oppting to have another lady family member suport them too x

 

[Tasha89]

I'm not sure now... My OH was ALWAYS the only one who I wanted in the room with me however I might see if my Mum fancies the idea now.

Both me and my brother were adopted as babies so she's never experienced birth or seen it...I wanted her to come to our 20 week and 4D scan so she could experience those and she loved it.

Oh I don't know... x

 

[LucyH]

Thanks ladies for all the comments - Its hard to decide, especially if this is your first baby??? If your OH or mum will be any good???? I think my OH will be rubbish....hahahaha! thats why I have my mum in there for the extra support!!!

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

Liam will be there and also my mum is coming over from Australia in the 39th week so hopefully she will make the birth
we also have a doula called Faith who is going to be around, she was booked incase mum couldnt come, i need a non NHS woman around to stop them from cutting the cord too early, injecting me with stuff or rushing me to hospital for no reason... And to stop me from demanding drugs i dont need

I feel a strong woman whose given birth is essencial, simply because if i am in transistion and Liam says 'You can do it babe' my instinctive reaction will be to shout 'HOW THE £$^& WOULD YOU KNOW' before removing his right testicle.

If my mum says 'you can do it' well she gave birth to me, can hardly content with that can I!

Faith is mostly there to support Liam, he has the best intentions but seeing me in pain... well thats hard for men, they dont know what to do, you become a sort of wild animal - very tribal and i think they can feel a bit 'ousted' if shes around while he is fretting, she can calm him and look after him whilst i concentrate on myself!

Plus i think its good to have more than one birthing partner incase you have a loooong labour, if i am in the first stage for hours and hours, i might not be able to rest but Liam could get an hour or two and mum could take over and then they could swap

Liam is going to catch the baby, the joys of waterbirths and i will hold him for ages when he is just born, have some boobie time and then get out of the birthing pool

Then Liam can cut the cord with the midwife before (open your minds here) feeding the veggie garden with some of the nutrient rich waters of the birthing pool (seems a shame to waste such awesome fertilizor)

Then mum is going to 'watch' the baby (to check they dont inject it with anything or rub it too hard or anything strange) and she will dress him for the first time whilst i get in the bathroom for a hose down and a change of clothes

Faith will make us all tea and take some photos of myself and Liam and the baby, i also want a picture of the whole birthing 'team' so i will probably wake up my housemate Mitch and ask him to take one of all of us together for the album

I wouldnt want to do it without a strong woman who isnt NHS... just because of my insecurities about hospitals and structure and routine

i cant wait to give birth actually! i am dead excited about it (especially the birthing pool, i am a beached whale in the bath right now!)