BIRTH DEFECTS

[cloud9]

I guess i don't know is my answer...Working in learning disabilites i met a lot of parents who lived there life with guilt of having bought the child into the world, siblings who hated there brothers or sisters because of the effect it had had on the family.
I also thin it is complicated by the fact i am so attached to this baby to talk about a hypothetical is different from your baby.

There is never a right descision in these situations just the best judgement you can make.

 

[tracyM]

We were in a similar situation as Sarah with Callum - his prognosis wasn't good and we were advised to terminate - we didn't. If you're put in that situation, something deep down inside tells you what to do, call it fate, God, mothers instinct or whatever.

 

[jocymum]

Sazzle- i don't think it was you that vicky was saying about chick, there was another post from a lady who thought she was 10 wks and turned out to 21/22 and was still considering her options... your situation was very very different

 

[rach]

i think i personaly would not terminate no matter what i would see it through and hope for the best i have 1 child in the cemetary and cant face another 1 also my mother was told to abort my sister as she would probably not survive birth and if she did she would be brain damaged blind deaf etc etc etc there is nothing wrong with my sister at all
this would be a very difficult choice for anyone to make and i dont think anybody knows what they would actually do till it actually happened to them
i dont disagree with anyone terminating i think these people are making the hardest decision in their lives xxxxxxxx

 

[Dee1985]

Hi

I think you might have been thinking about me?? I posted on here after my sad news. On the 18th October i gave birth to my daughter Angeles. She was nearly 22 weeks when i decided to have my pregnancy induced.

On my week 20 scan i was told that she had a very serious form of spina bifida. Spina bifida can range in degrees and mine was about the worst you could have. I was told the baby would never walk. Would probably not be able to use the toilet and due to the "lemon" shape of her head though she could well have brain damage. Her feet were also turning in which is supposed to be a bad sign too.



SARAH

This is what happened to my mum. she said from day 1 she felt some thing was not right. no reason or signs just a gut feeling so one day she turned up at the docs and randomly said some things not right. he touched my mums belly and felt the shape of the baby mum said is face looked shocked and he sent my mum for emergancy scan. the baby had serious spina bifida and had no spine atall. mum could hold out till she naturally went into labour and the baby would die. or could be induced. mum chose to be induced. she had 3 children her mum had died 3 weeks before and she could not cope. mum said it tore her apart which i could not bare to imagine. Kayleigh was brought into mum in a little white whicker basket wrapped real tight in a little white blanket with a pink flower placed on her. i think its nice how the hospital make it special. she looked perfect in every way and mum said she was the spit of me when i was a baby. i didnt hold her but mum did and mum said it was just a big hole there instead of her back. mum did not have any pics taken and kayleigh did not have a furneral. i think it was just mums way of coping.
my mum is such a strong woman. after every thing she has been through i have still never seen her cry.
this puts me in high risk of spina bifida baby. so i count my lucky stars i have 2 healthy babies and its one of the main reasons i have decided to stop while im ahead. i dont ever wont to have to make them decisions

rest in peace Kayleigh

 

[Katarina]

Sazzle- i don't think it was you that vicky was saying about chick, there was another post from a lady who thought she was 10 wks and turned out to 21/22 and was still considering her options... your situation was very very different

That was me.
We are in a difficult situation to begin with, we live with parents, have £10,000 of debt and I am unable to work due to my diabetes.
Being diabetic poses significant risks to this child (spinabifida, deformity, blindness, the list is endless) when I thought I was 10 weeks, we were hoping to have a termination because of this.
Getting pregnant wasn't something we planned to do, not yet anyway, and because of the risks, we thought it would be the lesser of two evils to terminate.
Then I found out I was 21-22 weeks, that changed things, in speaking with my partner, we have decided that it would be cruel to terminate at this stage, we have a scan booked for next week to see if there are any abnormalities but unless it is extremely ill, we will continue the pregnancy.

I just want to clarify with Vicky, I never said I would terminate if it had spinabifida, I used that as an example of the risks, I was/am extremely scared and confused about this pregnancy, it is my first and the child obviously wouldn't have the best life considering where I live and my debts

 

[Dee1985]

Sazzle- i don't think it was you that vicky was saying about chick, there was another post from a lady who thought she was 10 wks and turned out to 21/22 and was still considering her options... your situation was very very different

That was me.
We are in a difficult situation to begin with, we live with parents, have £10,000 of debt and I am unable to work due to my diabetes.
Being diabetic poses significant risks to this child (spinabifida, deformity, blindness, the list is endless) when I thought I was 10 weeks, we were hoping to have a termination because of this.
Getting pregnant wasn't something we planned to do, not yet anyway, and because of the risks, we thought it would be the lesser of two evils to terminate.
Then I found out I was 21-22 weeks, that changed things, in speaking with my partner, we have decided that it would be cruel to terminate at this stage, we have a scan booked for next week to see if there are any abnormalities but unless it is extremely ill, we will continue the pregnancy.

I just want to clarify with Vicky, I never said I would terminate if it had spinabifida, I used that as an example of the risks, I was/am extremely scared and confused about this pregnancy, it is my first and the child obviously wouldn't have the best life considering where I live and my debts

you dont have to explain yourself to any one hun
x x x x

hope your scan goes well x x x

 

[jocymum]

Hope my post didn't sound 'off' to you Katarina, I just thought it wasn't sazzle that was being referred to . It was just a different situation as you were considering termination prior to finding out that you were at lot further on.
Please don't get me wrong, I have had a termination in the past and a miscarriage , i didn't mean to sound judgemental, had far too much sh*t in my own life for that
sorry if I upset you at all

 

[Katarina]

Thank you for understanding
It wasn't your post jocymum, I just didn't want people to think that I would be willing to terminate at this stage just because of an illness.
I hope I didn't sound aggressive in my post, just wanted to clarify really

 

[sazzleevans]

Hi

Thanks girls. I think most of us of this site know that most people arent being judgemental. I have only ever read one posting on here that made me wonder if the person sitting at the keyboard was living in the real world but overall i think we all know that we use this site to help each other out...So i am sure no one has taken anything personaly.

I think its good to be able to talk about things on line. Life can be hard and its good to share it.

Sarah

 

[cloud9]

I guess another thing i thought about was proffessor Winstons program on a couple of weeks ago and a family had a child with a genetic illness can't remember what it was called but basically from day 1 it built up excess fatty depsots everywhere including the brain till it dies .the baby lived till it was 3 and got sicker from the day it was born...I wouldn't want my child to go through that or to watch my child dying from the day its born.
good luck with the scan katarina.

 

[Vicky_Gazerimmer]

I certainly hope no one has been affended by this thread.

I was just thinking it over the other day and wondered what others thought.

I wasn't try to judge or affend anyone so to those ladies who thought I might have been talking about them a hug and a sorry incase your upset by what may have seemed like a judgemental comment.

I hope that Katarina and Sazzle are not angry at me. I am was genuinely curious to others views on the subject.

Just to point out incase it was for my benifit that I myself do live in the real world which as I am aware can be a cruel place and that is why this subject in my opinion had to be raised.

 

[cloud9]

vicky...I think its a very valid subject...I don't think anyone who's pregnant doesn't thikn about it.

 

[rach]

I guess another thing i thought about was proffessor Winstons program on a couple of weeks ago and a family had a child with a genetic illness can't remember what it was called but basically from day 1 it built up excess fatty depsots everywhere including the brain till it dies .the baby lived till it was 3 and got sicker from the day it was born...I wouldn't want my child to go through that or to watch my child dying from the day its born.
good luck with the scan katarina.

hi hun my cousin has a genetic disorder like this its called tay-sachs we were not aware about it till she didnt develop normally as a baby i think they finally found out at around 9/10 months old and were then told she would be dead by 3 she will be 5 in feb 07 if she survives till then it has been very hard for my uncle and aunty to have to watch their daughter slowly dying its a terrible condition but usually 1 thats not discovered till its too late xxxxxxx

 

[Joy and Ben]

Bit of a raw subject for me this evening. Had a phone call from my midwife earlier this eveing to be told that me downs/spina bifida screening tests are back and I have a high level of AFP - meaning a high risk of spina bifida. Can't have a scan until 18 weeks cos that's the earliest that they can clearly see the spine. Two very long weeks.

I know that this higher risk doesn't mean my baby is definately affected but it feels like the end of the world at the moment!

 

[cloud9]

Bit of a raw subject for me this evening. Had a phone call from my midwife earlier this eveing to be told that me downs/spina bifida screening tests are back and I have a high level of AFP - meaning a high risk of spina bifida. Can't have a scan until 18 weeks cos that's the earliest that they can clearly see the spine. Two very long weeks.

I know that this higher risk doesn't mean my baby is definately affected but it feels like the end of the world at the moment!
_________________

sorry about your news...Waiting must be awful .Two weeks is an awfully long time to be left wondering..Will be thinking of you

 

[Joy and Ben]

Thanks - this evening has been the longest ever, so I don't know how i'll manage another 2 weeks

 

[Vicky_Gazerimmer]

sorry to hear your news minnie, I hope everything works out ok for you and your LO

 

[kirlykird]

I certainly hope no one has been affended by this thread.

I was just thinking it over the other day and wondered what others thought.

I wasn't try to judge or affend anyone so to those ladies who thought I might have been talking about them a hug and a sorry incase your upset by what may have seemed like a judgemental comment.

I hope that Katarina and Sazzle are not angry at me. I am was genuinely curious to others views on the subject.

Just to point out incase it was for my benifit that I myself do live in the real world which as I am aware can be a cruel place and that is why this subject in my opinion had to be raised.

I'm sure noone was offended by you Vicky

 

[kirlykird]

Thanks - this evening has been the longest ever, so I don't know how i'll manage another 2 weeks

fingers crossed all will be ok with your lo