been to the doctors

[roseanimal]

and to be honest she couldn't help much.

said to take gaviscon for the sickness, said that and the dizzy spells could be caused by gunk in my inner ears from my hayfever or could be pregnancy.

she gave me a tube to wee in (fmu so to give back on monday) and said she couldn't give me any meds in case i am pregnant.

she said the period thing is either 1. hormones 2. there HAS been pregnancy or 3. I am pregnant although since my home tests were negaitve it's unlikely to be number 3. she said to keep an eye on the bleeding and see what happens. didn't offer a blood test because i have what's probably a period (difficult to explain how a period 2 hours long compares to normal yet)

and said to make sure i keep eating sensibly (not managed more than a baked potato/scrambled eggs on toast/cuppa soup and a bit of fruit for a couple weeks (although not losing weight)

and she prodded my tummy (which is hidiously bloated ) to check for pain and took my blood pressure and pulse etc.



so all in all I still have no idea what's wrong with me and whether or not I'm pregnant

 

[babyblonde]

Bless you hun

At least she sounds like she listened to you. She can't give you answers she doesn't have but atleast she's given you some possible scenarios (one of which is a really good one, however unlikely it's still a possibility! ).

By the time it gets to Monday, at least you'll know yourself whether what you are experiencing is actually a period or not.

My only niggle would be that, if you were pregnant but not any more, by the time Monday comes it's probably not going to show up on your urine test as it's a few days away - although depending on how you feel about it not having that confirmed might not be a bad thing.

that you get the news you want honey - and if not that you begin to feel better

 

[roseanimal]

thanks. I agree about the monday hormones being lower if it was a pregnancy but in all honesty what could I do by knowing that it was. at least this way it's just a hormonal blip to me instead of a m/c.

it was just so awful to wake up this morning and think...wait a minute...oh crap! after waking up from a dream where I was at the doctors and she got me confused wth someone else so went to hear my heart and said "there's two heartbeats there. the baby's fine" and let me listen to my baby's heartbeat!

ah well. still the slightest hope (I'm not going to change my tampon every 2 minutes to check on the flow..honest! )

 

[babyblonde]

I know honey - it was the same when I woke up from a nap on Sunday afternoon and, as I came round, realised I had proper AF type cramps. Just lay there thinking 'if I don't move they'll go away, it's not really real'.

That's what I meant about not being able to tell either way on Monday, but didn't want to presume that you wouldn't want to know as everyone is different. xxx

 

[roseanimal]

i probably wouldn't want to know. I'm a big baby and emotional enough the past 2 weeks (especially the past few days). even thinking about having one sounds big and scary and I know I'd cry so much. welling up just thinking that that's what might have happened.

You're so brave with what you went through hunny. you really are.

 

[babyblonde]

Nothing brave about it hun - the way I look at it, I either curl up and die in a corner or I let myself be sad but try and get on with it.

I've had several episodes of depression before and I don't want to go back there again - it's a very dark place.

I have so much to be thankful for - a wonderful (albeit slightly clueless ) husband, a roof over my head, a job I love, wonderful family and friends and two gorgeous pups who love me unconditionally. But at the same time, I know it is ok to be sad.

Whatever happens babe we are all here for you. It's totally ok to be upset at the idea

 

[roseanimal]

well I'm back on my cleaning spree! done the lounge and kitchen so far. Just about to make hubby's birthday cake and some cookies then I'll move upstairs and do the bathrooms and then get out the hoover and duster...


feel bad for hubby though - when I told him she arrived he asked if it's cause we'd dtd last night poor thing blamed himself!

right the tears are starting again so I'm off to think about something else!

 

[babyblonde]

Ok sweetie - enjoy your cleaning spree and if you finish and want to do some more let me know I have plenty of house you can clean!

 

[roseanimal]

i'll try. not too keen on cleaning but hubby's boss and his wife are coming over tomorrow so ca't invite them into a stinky hole where I'm wallowing in self-indulgence!!

 

[babyblonde]

Can't be worse than our crap hole!

 

[roseanimal]

ah but hubby's very proud of our house and i can't even chuck stuff in a cupboard as he shows inside those too!

would be fine if he ever helped tidy up!!

 

[roseanimal]

but i ordered some clothes last week online and they just arrived!!



trying them on just now - wet clothes in a pile on the kitchen floor andthe oven's on but empty - easily distracted? moi!!?

 

[roseanimal]

is it a message?

every time I walk into the lounge the hero song comes on immediately on the hits music channel!

(when you feel that hope is gone, look inside you and be strong...)

 

[babyblonde]

I can't listen to that at the moment - that or the Adele song which makes me cry every time I hear it.

 

[roseanimal]

well I dropped off my little jarthing of pee today - I'll know for certain by friday (period's still very light and patchy (off then on then off again) so i guess I'll know for sure then.) although I'm pretty certain (90%) I'm not

 

[roseanimal]

well still no word from the docs even though they said today (but i handed my pee i late in the day on monday)

I know I'm not but just feel like it's still not officially over causes she said maybe and got me to do the test and cause af was so odd this cycle. anyway - started bding properly again and need to do opks again.