Been signed off work with stress

[Kerrykins]

Well, I've had an awful week at work with one of the guys from the factory screaming and shouting and effing and blinding at me, to the point that I ended up in tears.

There is now an investigation and the stress is all too much for me. It all happened Wednesday afternoon and I went to the doctors yesterday morning and she said there is no way I should be going through it (at the best of times!) let along when I'm 26 weeks pregnant, so signed me off for a week. She wanted to do longer but I said I'd go back in a week for another certificate if I feel the need.

At one point when he was having a go at me I said that I shouldn't be going through this stress and he said "I don't give a fuck all I fucking care about is me". It was just so upsetting.

The thing is, I have a bit of a temper and if sojmeone is talking to me in that manner I'm going to retaliate and I did.

I've been honest in the statement I had to give and said everything that happened and put my hand up and said I did end up lowering myself and shouting and swearing back. I'm now wondering if that was sensible. He's unlikely to be honest and the two witnesses work with him so are likely to go along with what he's says.

Basically they need him in his job but already know they are losing me in a few weeks anyway so I'm scared it's going to go the wrong way even though I know I'm not in the wrong.

I may have been signed off work but I can't think of anything else and am just so stressed it's unbelievable.

Martin thinks I'm overreacting and that it will go my way anyway, but they are just arseholes where I work and I wouldn't put anything past them.

 

[mustard]

That is awful. I'm glad you can get a bit of time away from it all. Try very hard to take your mind off it while you are off, I'm sure that won't be easy. I really hope it is all sorted when you go back. You might be suprised at your employers reaction because no company wants to be accused of treating pregnant women badly so hopefully they will look after you.

 

[Olive]

What was the argument about hun? Sorry you're having a tough time. Get yourself a union rep or someone to accompany you to meeting. Xx

 

[reillybaby1987]

Awww big hugs hunni, thats bullying nobody should have to go through that never midn if your pregnant hope it gets sorted for you xx

 

[Mrs DPJ Heath]

hes not allowed to swear or shout at you. If they did terminate your employment you can take them to a employment tribunal for unfair dismissal due to verbal abuse and mental bullying. being a team leader he is not allowed to shout or swear at colleuges working with him. . If your unsure you can always see a solicitor for no win no fee if you want to know your rights. hope everything works out for you hun! Xx

 

[Kerrykins]

Thanks all, it's just so upsetting and worrying having it held over my head. He doesn't actually even work for the company, just a sub contractor!

The argument was over his invoices not being paid quickly enough (I'm in accounts). He just went off it saying it was my "fucking job to pay his fucking wages". He doesn't get that it's not even wages and I just kept trying to explain the situation and work out a way they could be paid earlier but he wouldn't listen and just kept shouting and swearing at me. I can't pay any invoices until I have received them back from whoever as authorised. In his case it's the MD who authorises them but I didn't get them back until Monday, I then put them on a payment run Tuesday - how much quicker could I have done it?

My OH has suggested if the worst did come to the worst to get the HSE to do an investigation first and then I could take it to tribunal based on their findings. I'm just hoping it doesn't get to that stage.

I just can't relax, I'm totally on edge and just want to be past it all now...........

 

[BabyBrain]

Hi hunny, I am sorry you are going through this.

I was signed off with stress in 2009 because of my area manager and I have the tribunal coming in November, it didn't improve when I returned. I was off for four months so please don't expect to be ok in just a week. It takes a long time to get strong enough to face work again so take your time and don't rush.

Put it in a mental box for a week. You have your GP to protect you so don't not worry about a thing. Ring up and tell him/her you want your sick leave extended, ask for work place counselling, for 1 they are amazing and will help you loads, and secondly if it does end up at tribunal you have a counselling report to support your claim.

Your employers have a Duty of Care to protect you, even more so now you are pregnant. It is their responsibility to ensure your work day is as calm, stress free and un-intimidating as you expect it to be. You are even more protected from discrimination now that you are pregnant, especially if you work in a male dominant work place.

Don't sit at home driving yourself mad. I was told that being signed off with stress is not an illness as such so don't be worried to go out shopping, go away for the weekend, meet up with friends etc as it's actually seen as a positive move to get yourself better in happy environments.

Feel free to pm me if you need anything sweetheart xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Kerrykins]

Thanks so much Babybrain, funnily enough we actually are going away for the weekend next weekend so maybe that'll take my mind off it. Mind you, I'm really hoping I'll have the results of the investigation before then. I will PM you if you don't mind as I don't have a clue about the work based counselling.

 

[1986princess]

Awful Hun u shouldn't be going through that but u did the right thing by being honest and saying u retaliated, who wouldn't! Take a week off to try abd relax and enjoy some you time xx

 

[Bee7]

So sorry to hear that you're having to deal with this hun. I find it absolutely disgusting that a man would speak to a woman in that way, particularly a pregnant woman. Sounds as though he was being exceptionally threatening and abusive for no good reason and if anyone should be punished it's him. You should never be put in a position of intimidation at work especially when you're pregnant.

I imagine your company won't want to rock the boat. If they were to come down heavily on you and you took it to a tribunal it wouldn't look good that they were mistreating a pregnant woman and condoning aggressive behaviour in the workplace. They'll probably want to sweep it under the carpet which means he'll (wrongly) get away with his vile behaviour but at least you won't have to cope with the worry of it either.

Rise above it hun. What sort of a person treats a pregnant woman like that? Sounds like he's a few sandwiches short of a picnic to me. You'll probably get the old 'must be her hormones' crap thrown at you but oh well. Better than being an abusive nobhead with no morals! Hope it works out ok for you and try not to let it play on your mind any more, won't do you or baby any good xxx

 

[Kerrykins]

Thanks everyone. Pants isn't it, but thank god for my PF buddies. How I'd get through this sort of thing without all your support I really don't know..................................xxx

 

[jojo_2012]

Sounds awful at your work. I'm signed off work with stress too. Not work related. It started as 1 week, I realised by cutting work out my stress has gone down, so I've got 2 more weeks off now.

I don't know how long you get full pay for sick leave, but with my work it's 6 months and I've barely had a day off even when my son's been ill. So even if I end up off sick still at 36 weeks, it'll just change over to maternity pay which is fine by me.

 

[Kerrykins]

Sounds like you're pretty lucky Jojo. With my work it's discretionary. I've never not been paid for sick before but then I've never taken much sick before. To be honest it hadn't even occured to me but considering the circumstances I think they'd be daft to not pay me for sick for the first time now....... especially as the doctor put on the form that it was "work related stress" - we'll see come pay day I guess.

Hope you continue feeling better anyway x

 

[Kerrykins]

Well, I'm back to work today and absolutely nothing has been said or done. I've decided if they don't bring it up by lunchtime tomorrow then I will. I need to stop having this held over my head. Last week when I was signed off I may just as well have been at work as I was just as stressed about it but at home. I went away for the weekend though and have to say it's done me a world of good. I feel so much better now. And................once today is over I only have 10 more working days until my maternity leave - woo hoo!!!!!

 

[LoopyLouize]

Only just seen this! What a joke!!

Can't believe they have not even asked if your ok or anything!!

Hope your ok xx

 

[Kerrykins]

Yeah that's about par for the course at my work place I'm afraid. I'm actually in now but not for long as I had my GTT this morning so was late in and am leaving in about an hour to gofor my 28 week scan and then consultants appointment, so think I will leave it till tomorrow to chase them up.......................

 

[LoopyLouize]

They still haven't said anything today!!! Phffft!!

Hope you sort it once and for all because it is not on at all!

x

 

[Kerrykins]

Totally agree Loopy, they've still not said anything (not even a "how are you" after I came back), gonna say something after lunch..........