at the end of my tether

[charlotte_]

zach didn't go to sleep until gone 7am this morning. that's whan he thinks bedtime is, he's got it completely backwards and i've tried everything. we're in a routine now, but it's still not helping, have started too late?
i give him a bath with all the johnsons nightime stuff, then baby massage with lavender oil, then he has a feed with the lights dimmed & the telly off, this is all about 10. but he still doesn't go to sleep anywhere between 3-5am, last night was a one off (hopefully!)

it's so exhausting, and it gets me down because i have to sleep in the day, i never see daylight anymore! i've tried everything, stroking his face, playing him lullabys, rocking him, leaving him to cry in bed, feeding him up til he can't move (!), putting him in bed with us; nothing works. it's not like he's discontent, he's pefectly happy, he was even giggling at about 5am this morning! he just won't sleeep. what can i do?

i've read a few mums on here saying that putting babies in their own room helped, should i bite the bullet & just do that? i really enjoy having him in his moses basket next to me

 

[Manda&Thomas]

maybe turn the lights off instead of dimmed and try doing the routine with the bath and that around 7pm might make him a bit more tired.
if all else fails just be mean and dont let him sleep in the day just keep waking him up or only let him sleep for a short amount of time so he gets really tired.
seems like you have tried most things

xx

 

[lea m]

Aww hun If you want him in your room then moving him out may cause you stress which will stop you sleeping even if he does!
The only thing I can think to do is what Manda&Thomas said and bring the bedtime routine down to an earlier time and maybe try and keep him awake a little more in the day!
As bad as it is at the min hun, it wont last! He will get into a better routine soon!

If he isnt crying hun when he is awake, then just let him be! He cant come to any harm lay in his moses basket awake! Maybe hold his hand while you nap?

 

[Charlie:-)]

Aw its not fun is it when youre deprived of sleep.

Can I ask how much sleep he does get during the day and roughly what time does he have his last nap?

A few things in my head really. One is that maybe he's not getting enough sleep then he's overtired at night time so doesnt go to sleep (as bizarre as it sounds) till later.

Another maybe that if he is napping ok and tends to have a nap at about 6ish or any later I would be inclined to do what Manda siuggested and start his bedtime routine earlier so he's in bed by half 6 - 7pm and cut out the last nap altogether. Mayb e if yo persevere with this he will eventually get the message and go to sleep earlier.

I personally wouldnt be happy with putting him in his own room if I was in your situation and from what you've said youre not keen either so just let him be inyour room.

The only other alternative is to just go with the flow let him guide you and try and rest during the day when he does

 

[charlotte_]

he naps for most of the day, like it's nighttime, his routine is completely backwards! lea, i would put him down in his moses basket, but he cries! i feel like it's cause he's bored, because even though it's 3am, it's his daytime!

i've just done bath & last feed and he's led next to me on the sofa, wide awake!

 

[Charlie:-)]

Not sure if this will help but some reading info on sleeping patterns for babies

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/sleep/understanding/

And some tips here on how to help your baby learn the difference between day and night

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/sleep/upallnightsleepsalldayexpert/

 

[Manda&Thomas]

how about a cot mobile? not sure if you can attach them to a moses basket though ive never used one?
that might keep him entertained while he goes to sleep?
xx

 

[lea m]

he naps for most of the day, like it's nighttime, his routine is completely backwards! lea, i would put him down in his moses basket, but he cries! i feel like it's cause he's bored, because even though it's 3am, it's his daytime!

i've just done bath & last feed and he's led next to me on the sofa, wide awake!

I dont think there much to do but wait it out hun! I have been so so lucky that all 4 of my babies have gotten themselves into good routines quite early on!

Oh again when he is in the moses basket and cries, if you held his hand what would he do? Does he cry more or get some comfort?
It may be a case of finding what settles him like Lola, (weird child she is) she would only doze off in her basket if I put my hand on her face, then she would turn her face so my hand was on her face covering it (if you can picture it lol) her nose squashed into my palm but that is what settled her, I would hold it there for a few minutes, them move my hand to her hand and hold it then she would doze off and I would let go! Sometimes I had to rub her belly gently or just put my hand on her tum!

 

[GBLiz]

have you tried doing the whole bath routine in the morning? seeing as he thinks that is his cue to be up for hours after?

My LO would never settle if i was standing there or touching her! That would have her awake and wanting to be picked up for sure. But then again you said you'd tried leaving him....

when he sleeps in the day, is he in the same position as you're putting him at night?

 

[charlotte_]

how about a cot mobile? not sure if you can attach them to a moses basket though ive never used one?

we've got one on his cot, but it'd be way too top heavy to attatch to his moses basket.

when he sleeps during the day he usually falls asleep in our arms & i always try to put down in his bouncer, but my OH tends to just cuddle him the whole time.

 

[lea m]

but my OH tends to just cuddle him the whole time.

That might be it! If he is being cuddled when he falls asleep then when he wakes in his moses basket, he will be confused and possibly a little scared! That would probably wake him more?

Maybe in the day (sorry hun Im wracking my brains here to find a way to help) put him down when hes dozing/half asleep, if he wakes up then its the day so its a bit better than at night! Then try and encourage him to sleep on his own like in his bouncy chair or pram etc and hopefully it wont be such a big difference when he goes to bed at night!

Im so glad mine all slept well as Im not very helpful am I lol!

 

[charlotte_]

we always try to wake him up a bit before we put him down! seriously, i have tried everything, lol.
we usually keep him downstairs with us until we want to go to bed, usually about 10, although recently we go up somewhere between 10-12, and end up back down in half an hour!

it's half9 now, and we've just put him down upstairs in his moses basket, for the first time, got the baby monitors set up & eveything, lol.
we'll see how it goes with him up there on his own with no distractions. fingers crossed for a proper nights sleep girlies!

 

[lea m]

Fingerscrossed hun!

 

[charlotte_]

he's still down!

 

[keelie_b]

its now 10.35 and i can see your still online

im hoping its because LO is sound asleep and u have spare time on your hands.

ing tonight is better for you i know what its like i really do

 

[charlotte_]

my internet's on all the time, lol.

he woke up at five to 11, and now he's back down again at half past, looking good!

 

[charlotte_]

spoke too soon, just as i posted that he started crying!

edit: 25 to 12, down again!

 

[chickadee1976]

l

 

[xmcnickyx]

Molly has always been fairly good but she was quite unpredictable then all of a sudden it seemed like she just clicked and sorted herself out, probably when she was about a week older than Zach.

Sounds like you're doing everything right though. Maybe try skipping the bath and see if that helps - baths wake some babys up rather than calming them down.

 

[Sherlock]

Hmmm others have given some good tips.

I think its a case of just gently getting him used to day and night and continue to sleep when he sleeps for now. Don't make his daytime naps quiet, have background noise, keep the room light etc. And make it all darker etc at night. I'd also look to getting him ready for bed sooner each night, even if only by 5 minutes a night till he is getting ready around 8pm. Even if then he does not go to his cot till 10pm or a bit later.

Have you thought about co sleeping for a bit perhaps? It may be he will settle better if he is close to you. I'd not put him in his own room personally but if you are totally comfortable doing this then it might be something to consider. However I don't think it will change much. I think closeness will help more.

I don't know if you are BF'ing or formula but it is also worth looking at the pattern there and seeing if there is anything you can do to help.

I may be wrong but I didn't think LO's should have essentials oils for massage? I attended a massage group a while back and was shown some techniques for massaging LO and she said olive oil only. No mention was made of using essential oils. Just thought I'd mention it.