Anyone TTC, attended fertility clinic & living in Rotterdam?

[xxsammyxx]

Hi all,

well the time has come to move out of the Spanish sun as we are moving to Rotterdam at the end of October. I wont be too sad to leave Spain as my life has sort of expired here now and im pretty sick of being ripped off or robbed! OH has just landed himself a fantastic job as a Sales Manager in a top notch company and he starts the position 3rd November. However, we have loads to pay out to move, get the cats over there, relocate etc and the rent is extortionate on properties we have looked at so far so it will be a while before we reap any benefits! We aim to live there for 2 years and then relocate within that company to one of their other branches in the USA and then live there and buy a house and for once be "settled".

The good thing is that it gives me the opportunity to work now as well and the jobs are quite well paid there (well compaired to Spain anyway!) With us both working we will be in a better position to TTC and OH gets free medical insurance which covers IVF etc. which we plan to start around xmas time if we have not conceived by then.

I know i spoke to a girl on here once before from Rotterdam but i forget her name but i would be interested to know if anyone lives there, what its like, or is TTC/had a baby there and where we can try and find somewhere to rent. I dont know anyone there so it would be great if there is anyone around to speak to....

 

[babyblonde]

I don't even know where Rotterdam is (my geography sucks!) but just wanted to leave a little note to wish you lots of luck and happiness for your move x

 

[xxsammyxx]

Awww thanks babyblonde... Its in Holland, a big city like Amsterdam but near a Harbour .Well ill go and buy myself a sunbed to improvise (and keep up a decent tan) and make the most of it. We need to do this as the cost of livng is increasing in Spain and the wages are going down (thats if you can find a job at all!) We are both going to work hard i hope to get back into IT Technical Support again. Its a huge company that OH will work for so hes going to try and get me in there as well... he has about 20 staff under him in the office so maybe I can work for him (though i will have to bite my bloody tongue if i do! lol) We have so much to do and little time to do it in! Anyone want to buy a silver peugeot 206cc cabriolet? lol

 

[mrs_metal]

How's your DD and family taken the news? I hope they can understand it's for the best for you Also I hope you won't be living near your in-laws from hell!

Like the others I don't know anything about living in holland but wish you all the best for your move

 

[xxsammyxx]

Mrs metal- i havent told them yet... my DD doesnt want to move. She is 10 years old and has been here nearly 2 years, learnt spanish, made many friends and she hates flying. I sort of can see where she is coming from and i dont want to leave her BUT if she comes to Holland then she will have to go into a Dutch speaking school and learn the new language all over again then after 2 years we are leaving there and probably moving to the States. It will be pointless for her to have to battle her way through this. Also there will be no kids to play with in the city where we will live and we can only afford to rent an apartment (not as lavish as the 3 bed detached villa we have here with private pool and communal pool!) Mum and dad have offered for her to stay with them. They live right near the school and her friends and she can continue with spanish and Tae Kwon Do. I desparately want her with us but she doesnt want to go and would be happy staying here. Of course we will be back to stay with her for xmas, easter and then shes off school for 13 weeks in the summer so she can come and stay in Holland. After all we are only going to be there for 24 months. Do you think this is a good idea? At least after that time we can relocate and all be together, we will be financially secure with us both working and we can settle somewhere and buy a house together. We just dont have much option, we both need to work and there is no work in Spain. Mum and dad dont know Allan has got the job yet and im dreading telling them although we have partially discussed it.

I was crying my eyes out the other night at the cruel things Allan's dad has said in his emails, i told Allan i wanted to email him and tell him that he was a nasty piece of work and that when we have another baby that i dont want such a vile person around him/her. That i know what he thinks about me (although he had never met me and Allan says its not personal just his father doesnt want him being held back!) so when we next meet he doesnt have to pretend to like me like he normally does... etc etc. I have lay awake many nights rehearsing what i want to write to him over and over again but as yet i have managed to refrain from sending him that email. I dont know what to do.... Thankfully we will be further away from him travelling time wise than if we lived in Spain (3.5 hours) whch i suppose his dad wasnt keen on since he wanted Allan back to go to football and do fatherly things together since his dad has NO MATES. Cant think why!

 

[mrs_metal]

This must be a really hard decision for you Sounds like her staying with her grandparents is the most sensible thing for your daughter and the least traumatic but I image you're gonna miss her terribly but if you're only gonna be in Holland two years then it is the most logical option, but I guess the heart doesn't care about logic

That's great news though that you'll be further away from his Dad although you can't make Allan cut him out of his life, you can refuse to go with him when he visits his family and you can refuse to let his Dad into your home, if they insist on the Dad visiting, you and your baby can use that time to go visit your family in Spain. Also once you're in America you'll be even further away from them

Its does seem to an outsider like me that long term this will be the best for your family, but I imagine it'll be a tough two years with missing your daughter, learning a new language, living in a different culture and all that entails. But as the americans say "keep your eye on the prize" and you'll get through it

 

[xxsammyxx]

Oh is worried that i wont be able to "hold my own" in Holland... that the language barrier will be a problem especially when his friends speak Dutch to him. He forgets i came to Spain and never spoke one goddamn word when i got here and battled my through to a decent level of Spanish. However, i wish i had more important things to worry about than THAT! He also said something over the weekend that made my blood boil, that "we couldnt afford to have DD living with us anyway!!!" I went a little mad and said that i didnt care WHAT it cost, that if she wanted to come then she would be coming, end of! It stemmed into a bit of an argument and i wasnt pleased with some of the things he said. Its not ideal and ill miss her terribly but if she comes with us she will be unhappy and deep down i know that she will be too. I plan to tell mum and dad tomorrow and im bloody dreading it to be honest. I'm moving because i have to, not because i want our family to be split up because if there was any other way then i would do it. I need to work and so does OH and there are no jobs here now as we are in a huge recession. We have tried for months and months to find work here.... to no avail. Life is so unfair.

 

[mrs_metal]

sound like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place

 

[xxsammyxx]

Yes i know.... i havent spoke to them today but we are definately telling them tomorrow. Of course they will make life as difficult as they can for me by saying that they wont let DD take her new siamese kitten there (they have two cats already) and she will be heartbroken if they wont. OH has to go back to Holland to sign his contract and find somewhere for us to live (i hate trusting blokes to do this as he would live in a rabbit hutch and think nothing of it!) THANKFULLY his mum and dad left Holland for their holidays last Friday and have gone for 2 weeks so he wont see them. He is leaving again on Weds morning and may not be back until next week as another company wants to see him as well... nothing is finalised yet but we have to make a decision on a job of some sort and where to live soon. Tomorrow i have the nice task of starting to pack the house up. OH JOY! lol.