Anyone had counselling after a loss?

[claire23]

Has anyone had counselling after a loss and has it helped? My gp referred me to maternity counselling and they have just rang me and Iv got my first appointment tomorrow and nervous not knowing what to expect. Will it just be me stating the obvious telling them whats happened all over again? Xx

 

[itisbabytime]

I think they will help you deal with your grief and give you methods of coping. I think it will be helpful. There are many stages you go through, denial anger acceptance etc and they will help you through it.

I haven't done it but after this loss (a very rare 'pregnancy of unknown location') I think it would be useful to talk to someone about my fears of it happeneing again.

 

[claire23]

Thanks Hun, I hope it is helpful as some days it's soo hard to cope xxx

 

[MrsL84]

I have seen a bereavement midwife sInce losing Ava and I have found it helps, I was going once a month but for the last couple of months I've gone less,because I felt being pregnant again sometimes It was too much? I find it helpful though at times when struggling and can talk to her without her judging and she generally Listen and tells me what I say/feel are normal and I'm not going mad. I did tell her that I didn't feel was bind

 

[MrsL84]

I have seen a bereavement midwife sInce losing Ava and I have found it helps, I was going once a month but for the last couple of months I've gone less,because I felt being pregnant again sometimes It was too much? I find it helpful though at times when struggling and can talk to her without her judging and she generally Listen and tells me what I say/feel are normal and I'm not going mad. I did tell her that I didn't feel was bonding with this baby as I'm so worried that won't get to bring this baby home too and she said that can be normal but that I need to also prepare for this baby, haven't got hardly anything yet and am going for my first sweep on 9th nov lol x

 

[claire23]

I'm glad to hear it helps you Hun, I have so much bottled up inside and scary thoughts about this baby, I really want to bring her home but don't picture it like that in my head, I have so much blame that I can't drop against my old midwife too and I don't think I can move on I wish I could go back and change everything but can't, Iv refused all counselling up until now and was convincing myself I don't need it and it was just grieving but now I think I do need to go for myself and bump. Xx
Gosh your sweep is the 9th november! That has come round quick! Text me if you ever need a chat or anything xxxx

 

[lauralou]

Take it huni, hope it helps u xxx I had a mc in November and was put on a waiting list for counselling and the date they gave me was the following October! So just go along and talk about whatever u want xx

Really hope it goes well xxxx

 

[claire23]

Thanks hun I'm really nervous, you had a long wait, that's awful xx

 

[MrsL84]

Yeah that's exactly how I felt , I bottled a lot up and was also blaming myself for letting her down etc,as for this baby,that's exactly why I can't seem to get motivated in getting baby stuff , packing hospital bag etc coz as much as I want it I don't see us bringing baby home am kind of waiting for something to go wrong, but speaking to counseller last time make me realise that I need to prepare a bit. When I sit and think what do I get from seeing her I think it's more getting stuf of my chest and also when I found out I was pregnant this time I didn't want to make it common knowledge for as long as possible (got to 21 weeks before announced it lol) and I was telling her that I was worried if people would think I was wrong for keeping it a secret and she assured me those who care would understand an if they didn't then they didn't matter, and she was right everyone totally understood. So for me she just helps me along
Ahh I know soon be here, exciting but scary !! Just keeping myself really busy at the mo . How did you get on Tuesday??xx

 

[leean10]

Hi hon, I had some counselling after my 4th mc in June and it really helped me cope with it all!!

There is nothing to be nervous about, they usually just let you talk and cry and let it all out, you will come away feeling better!!

Hope it works out ok and I'm so sorry for your loss!!

Lee-Ann xx

 

[claire23]

Yeah that's exactly how I felt , I bottled a lot up and was also blaming myself for letting her down etc,as for this baby,that's exactly why I can't seem to get motivated in getting baby stuff , packing hospital bag etc coz as much as I want it I don't see us bringing baby home am kind of waiting for something to go wrong, but speaking to counseller last time make me realise that I need to prepare a bit. When I sit and think what do I get from seeing her I think it's more getting stuf of my chest and also when I found out I was pregnant this time I didn't want to make it common knowledge for as long as possible (got to 21 weeks before announced it lol) and I was telling her that I was worried if people would think I was wrong for keeping it a secret and she assured me those who care would understand an if they didn't then they didn't matter, and she was right everyone totally understood. So for me she just helps me along
Ahh I know soon be here, exciting but scary !! Just keeping myself really busy at the mo . How did you get on Tuesday??xx

I dont think it was actual counselling today i think it was an assessment? i cried and cried but didnt feel any better really after, i had to go over everything and i felt like she was being nosey, maybe the actual sessions will be better though, i get 8 sessions for 50 minutes each.
tuesday went really well thankyou molly and placenta both seem to be fine, the blood flow was fine and she was the right size for her gestation, it was a lovely consultant and im seeing him again next month and hoping to discuss incuction or c section next time, how was your growth scan monday? hope it went well sorry i forgot to ask my heads all over the place at the moment lol xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

I didn't feel like I needed any additional support, but my losses have all been early and natural.

Your situation is very different Claire and I def think you should give it a go? If you hate it then you don't have to go back but maybe see what it's all about? It may be very beneficial - you never know!

Best of luck

xxxxxxxx

 

[claire23]

Thankyou I will give it a go, hopefully next time will be better and I think it will be a different person, today I just done a tick box thing of feelings and thoughts and then it felt like everything was dragged up, I suppose thats the point of it really to let everything out. I was told there's a couple of weeks wait so I will find out then if it's any good xxx