Yeah that's exactly how I felt , I bottled a lot up and was also blaming myself for letting her down etc,as for this baby,that's exactly why I can't seem to get motivated in getting baby stuff , packing hospital bag etc coz as much as I want it I don't see us bringing baby home am kind of waiting for something to go wrong, but speaking to counseller last time make me realise that I need to prepare a bit. When I sit and think what do I get from seeing her I think it's more getting stuf of my chest and also when I found out I was pregnant this time I didn't want to make it common knowledge for as long as possible (got to 21 weeks before announced it lol) and I was telling her that I was worried if people would think I was wrong for keeping it a secret and she assured me those who care would understand an if they didn't then they didn't matter, and she was right everyone totally understood. So for me she just helps me along
Ahh I know soon be here, exciting but scary !! Just keeping myself really busy at the mo . How did you get on Tuesday??xx