Post natal birth counselling

[BabyBrain]

Has anyone else been offered this? The community mw offered me this yesterday and I'm really not sure about it. It's offered in our area to women who have had a traumatic or complicated birth, they go through the hospital notes and explain everything that happened and why they did what they needed to do, then offer counselling if mums find it hard to deal with. It's an open ended offer, she said they get some women ring up 5 years down the line or when they are expecting again and want to know details to stop it happening again. She asked me how I felt about the birth and I just said I was so grateful, if they hadn't done what they did my son would probably not be here. She asked if anything had been explained to me and I said no, which it hadn't but I would rather they had done their job than have a conversation with me about it first.

I really don't know if I want all the gory details, I know both me and the OH have been in shock over the last week and last Monday is still very hazy. My main memory is laying on the operating table peering up at a surgeon telling him I only wanted a sweep lol.

I think I will leave it for now, maybe when I am ready for another one I'll want to know but then will it just scare the life out of me? xxxxxxxx

 

[beckyboo1]

Wow I think that's a great service, whether you choose to take it or not!


Obviously pip still hasn't made an appearance so I have no idea how is feel about it.

If its an open ended offer then maybe worth leaving for a while while you and your hormones settle down then you'd be able to deal with things if you chose to go iykwim? Xx

 

[BabyBrain]

Yeah I think the hormones have a lot to do with it at the moment and I wouldn't handle the details very well. I'm bursting into tears at the drop of a hat at the moment anyway which is pretty embarrassing in the middle of Mothercare lol

 

[Corrinne37]

Hi Babybrain,
I was offered this after the birth with my son, it was also very traumatic and my little boy had to be rushed yo SCBU as soon as he was born, and was very very poorly.
(I really thought he wopuldnt make it, drs pretty much told me that, I was in pieces!!)
At the time I felt like you, that he was here now and safe and I didnt want to dwell on the bad stuff.

But I dealt with this for a longtime after, (and probably still do!) I still dont sleep well if hes not by my side!
And when he was a baby I just always held him to he fell asleep as just could not bear to hear him cry or let him out of my sight as i was so worried something would happen to him.
I think this is all because I never dealt with what happened at his birth some say that it also emotionally it can also affect you having another child (which would be very true in my case! Cos look at the trouble I am having ttc baby number 2!!)
I wish I had taken the counselling now, just wanted to share my story with you ,
Congratulations on your baby boy, such a treasure xxxxxx

 

[Nic36]

The fact it's an open ended offer is great... You may feel like you want to go through the details with someone at some the in t he future. A friend of mine did this after a traumatic birth experience and it did help her. Xx

 

[TORino]

I think its a good idea to have counselling if it is offered. You might feel differently in a while so its great that it is open ended.

I was offered a debrief with the consultant about the procedure when I was on the postnatal ward so I spoke to him about it.

He said that the prolonged labour was due to the baby being back to back and that there was a 30% chance of babies being back to back in any pregnancy and it was just bad luck.

He didn't mention the shoulder dystocia or the mcroberts procedure though which is what concerns me most about future pregnancies. I know they were written in my notes because I read it. I count my blessings daily that I was in theatre with experienced staff there to deal with that and not on the low dependency suite.

 

[pushca]

Wow what a great offer. Its definitely not offered everywhere as we could have done with that after our first sons birth!
I would take them up on it if it's free & available xxx

 

[traci]

What a great offer! I wish I'd had that offered to me

 

[Sleepy sue]

I'd take them up on the offer, 1 so it doesn't effect your parenting (I don't mean that nastily but like others have said it could make you over protective!) and secondly for your own confidence in yourself and so it doesn't effect future pregnancies

It's a very good offer and who knows what will be cut with nhs cuts! X x

 

[AugustMum]

I would wait a little before taking up the offer. Not long, maybe just a month or so but as your emotions are so crazy at the moment it might help better once things are all settled down. Its fantastic that they offer this service though!

I waiting until my LO was 9 months before going to my HV and asking about my birthnotes, which then opened the flood gates and I was diagnosed with PND and post traumatic stress. The HV then came round and gave me some councilling (sorry I cant spell lol) over it and also helped me find out how I'd go about speaking to someone about my birth notes. It took about 6 months if not longer to finally see a consultant and theres now an investigation into the midwife involved because of her poor attitude.

I can honestly say Im a completly different person now to the one I was a year ago and without speaking to someone about it I don't know where I'd be. Even if you're now thinking that you're just glad he's here, just keep it in the back of your mind about the service as you might realise that actually it might really be worthwhile

 

[cosmicgirl]

I've had it. Didn't really work for me, I still hold a lot of upset, anger and anxiety but it might work for others x

 

[AugustMum]

Cos, this might sound really silly and you might have already tried this. But have you tried writing a letter to the staff involved in it all? Sounds really random but my HV told me to write a letter to the midwife explaining how I felt, but obv it's never intented to be read. I did it and it took me a while to get started but once I did I couldnt stop and ended up with about 6 pages that I still have in my bedside draw. Ill never read it again but it got a lot off my chest and helped to get it on paper.

 

[cosmicgirl]

I had to write to all involved because I firstly wrote a complaint, then began legal proceedings. I then had a taped meeting/interview with the midwife, lead midwife, consultant and head of maternity x

 

[AugustMum]

See I never had to personally speak to my midwife either in person or with a letter. This one was purely for me to write how I felt and get everything out. It was the consultant who started looking into the midwifes actions and I just recieve updates from him.

Hopefully this time you'll get the birth experience you deserve

 

[cosmicgirl]

Oh god I hope so, I'm dreading it but I'm at a different hospital so hopefully it won't come flooding back x

 

[pinkyprincess]

I would take them up. 3 months later I'd like to know if there is a reason why I was so slow and it took 4 days for my section and why I was prepped at 2 am re-examined by a consultant to be told no and left to go until 6am leaving Tyler to get mire distressed, BUT I am also very at peace with my experience. Think I'm more nosy than anything lol.

I do think it's worth doing tho!

 

[Cazzlou]

I was offered this too following Theo's birth. I said no thanks as I'm just grateful they did what they did to save my little boy.

 

[Hunnie]

I was offered it, accepted it and not heard anything since!!!