Anyone had bad time in labour/birth once & then better experience next time around?

[Sunnyb]

When I had Joseph I had to be induced & he was born 11 days late. My induction was awful, I felt as if everything was forced & un-natural. I had gas & air & a tens machine, so pre-pushing so to speak I was fine. I was allowed to push for nearly 2 hours but he woldn't come. I was then advised to have an episiotomy & be assisted with ventouse. What a nightmare it was - I was cut & haemorrhaged & sometimes when I wasn't ready to push they were pulling with the ventouse which really hurt. By the time Joseph arrived I had about a minute with him on me skin to skin & found out i'd had a boy & then lost consciousness. Joseph arrived at 14.10pm & I didn't regain consciousness until around 5.30pm. When I awoke I had an oxygen mask on & was hooked up to loads of drips & machines (very frightening). I was too week to hold Joseph & it wasn't until 9pm at night that a very lovely nurse asked if I'd held my baby. At this point I burst into tears & she propped me up & got loads of pillows to rest Joseph on & helped me hold him. She made him lovely & secure & I fell asleep with him in my arms. I had around 5/6 units of blood & was still very anaemic when I was allowed to go home.
Because of the tough time I had with Joseph I am concerned about this birth & it is kind of spoiling my pregnancy due to the worry. I am seeing a consultant midwife to discuss my birth options this time, but after nearly dying first time round I'm still feeling sick with worry.
Are there any mums out there that have had a disastrous delivery & then gone on to have a normal & more pleasant experience?

All stories will be gratefully received.

Sunnyb xxx

 

[amyjayne77]

hi sunnyb, i had a similar experience (didn't fall unconcious or anything tho)-induced at 2 weeks late, syntocin drip, epi, 3rd degree tear, huge bleeds afterwards, and all very unpleasent and stressful!!

2nd time round was fabby, she came flying out in 1 1/2 hours and it was a fab, easy labour.

2nd time round is so much easier xx

 

[AgentM]

I had a really crap time with my 1st and don't really want to talk about it. But I'm pregnant againamd am now anxious about the birth too.

So I'll stalk your thread for some answers if you don't mind! Whens your appointment? Mines not until the end of March x x

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

I had a retained placenta 1st time round and had to have an emergency op straight after giving birth! I was worried it was gonna happen again as I got told it's more than likely to happen again but my 2nd labour was a fantastic experience and nothing went wrong!

 

[Sunnyb]

I had a really crap time with my 1st and don't really want to talk about it. But I'm pregnant againamd am now anxious about the birth too.

So I'll stalk your thread for some answers if you don't mind! Whens your appointment? Mines not until the end of March x x

I'm sure you had an awful time & I can only talk about it now knowing I'm going to have to talk about it again soon. I couldn't contemplate having anymore children until very recently as I'm terrified of the birth aspect of things & was terrified that I might die in labour & leave Joseph without a mum (gruesome I know, but it's how I felt).
I had many in depth conversations with health professionals about how I felt & made my mind up to try for another in July 2010 & fell pregnant in September 2010!
I know I'll be monitored carefully & they've said I can have a c-section if I want to. But I would love to go for a natural birth again. It's good to hear that people have had positive experiences after such a hard time. I have an appointment on Monday & then my midwife is going to book a further referral after I've seen her on 22nd February.
I'll keep you posted! Keep the stories coming please.

Sunnyb xxx

 

[AbbyJ]

Sunny that is an awful story, I'm not suprised you were terrified to try again, you poor thing If it's any consolation I've had 4 and each has been easier than the last..the first is without fail the hardest. Your body has never done it before so it always takes a lot longer, and as you have no way of knowing how it will feel you're unprepared..I had a 20 hr labour with my first, it was awful..but the next birth was 7hrs, next one 5hrs and last one 45 mins! Once your body's done it once it knows what to do. If you are really scared though I would write in your birth plan that you want an epidural early on, that way you wil never be in real pain so nothing is rushed. I had one with my second and it was heaven! I can actualy remember sitting up and watching my son being born, I was completley pain free, smiling and chatting, it was a wonderful experience I'll never forget

 

[Miss]

Hey Sunny

I have only been thru birth once so I cannot comment or give any advice I am afraid. However reading your post it sort of relates to a book I am currently reading on Natal hypnotherapy - Helen123 mentioned it in a post awhile ago so I ordered the book.

The book talks about the fear surrounding birth - either that women think it's horribly painful thru media or they have had a bad experience themselves before.

It also goes into detail of ways you can prepare not only your body but your mind for labour....it makes complete sense (at least to me anyway)- so much so I have ordered the 4 Cd set.

They are a UK based company http://www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk/ xxx

 

[beckie90]

im wondering the exactly same thing. my little boy is 2yrs old was induced 12 days late, and i had a major pph with him staight away was in high dependancy unit, and then had another pph 4 weeks later, due to an infection in my womb caused by sac an membranes been left in me. now im 29 weeks preg with my 2nd and im absoloutly terrified that this time im gonna bleed to death. sounds daft but i really am lol

 

[Sunnyb]

im wondering the exactly same thing. my little boy is 2yrs old was induced 12 days late, and i had a major pph with him staight away was in high dependancy unit, and then had another pph 4 weeks later, due to an infection in my womb caused by sac an membranes been left in me. now im 29 weeks preg with my 2nd and im absoloutly terrified that this time im gonna bleed to death. sounds daft but i really am lol

Have you been referred to a consultant this time?
My fear is exactly the same. They said if I'd have chosen a home birth or birth centre I would have bled to death & the thought of not seeing my son grow up still makes me weepy. I now keep bursting into tears, as I'm frightened the same thing might happen again & this time if anything happens to me it'll be my fault cos I've chosen to take the risk again & I'll leave 2 children behind. It sounds really morbid, but I sometimes think am I selfish for having another? Should I have just been happy that I survived having my son & be grateful for him. Just keep beating myself up about it.
I'll let you know what my consultant says. If you've not been referred, speak to your midwife about your concerns hun.

Sunnyb xxx

 

[beckie90]

no thats what ive been looking into my midwife hasnt mentioned nothing about a consultant to me and ive only just realised after reading other posts that she should have really reffered me to one, when i try and bring up to her how scared i am she just says oh if it happens again they will be prepared. but i want someone to go though it with me and try and explain what the cause was and try making me feel abit at rest. next time i see her im gonna ask about a consultant.
yes thats my main concern too leaving my son, the thought is just horrible

 

[Sunnyb]

I think we both know they'll be prepared. But it's just as you've said - we want to know what happened & why? What are the chances of it happening again & would a c-section be safer? (even though I'd like to avoid a c-section if possible).
But if it means i'm safe & baby & my son gets to keep us both (not forgetting OH & my family) I'll take the best option suggested to me. Next time you see your midwife, try to be assertive & say you would like to discuss your previous birth with someone in more detail & the options available to you. If she tries to fob you off, you can always request a different midwife - it's your right to & you should not have to go into your next labour frightened as it can't make for a great birth when you're so tense. Let me know how you get on. I'm only in Huddersfield, so I'm not far from Barnsley at all. Inbox me if want to chat about anything else won't you.

Sunnyb xxx

 

[beckie90]

oh yes didnt notice you were from huddersfield not far at all. yes i will hun thanks for your advice, i just keep trying to think positive but doesnt help that much. hope you get on ok too xx

 

[ashhenda]

Hi, i'm new to the forum.

I have a 4 yr old son, when I was pregnant with him, I suffered qith severe headaches and couldn't sleep for the last 3-4 months due to hip pain.

My contractions started on Sunday morning (everywhere between 10-20mins apart) and I finally gave birth to him on Wednesday evening. All in all I was in labour for 84 hours. I was unable to push him out as he his head was too big and with me being exhausted I didn't have the energy. I was given gas and air, pethidine and was giving an epidural as they said I would be prep'd for a c-section. I was given a episiotomy (sp!) and they use the larger forceps!

I brought him home on the Friday, but was rushed back in on the Sat morning as they suspected I had a blood clot. I was given injections to thin my blood and send for a scan on the Monday (as there was no-one there during the w.end), which came back clear. I was sent home again on the Tuesday. I was diagnosed severly aneamic and was given meds. Also my stitches became infected, as they hadnt fully stitched me but because it wasn't a fresh wound, I had to let it heal on it's own.

My son didn't settle very well, he suffered from reflux and was always brining up his feeds. He was sent to the hospital for tests at 6 weeks old as they thought he may have probs with his stomach. Turns out that the advice the HV was giving to up his milk was wrong and we were feeding him too much! So we started him on hungry milk and he was fine.

I suffered from PND quite badly, really found it hard to cope with his crying. I read too much into books, if they said my son should have 3 naps, I stressed that he'd only have 1. This took a toll on my relationship with my hubby. Then my son was diagnosed with a squint at had to wear glasses. He recently had a op on his eye to sort this out.

I still have my anti-depressants 4 years on, actually had these before I was preg, as I suffered from OCD.

I always said "NO MORE CHILDREN", but have recently made a u-turn and SO want another child. My hubby is not convinced, he is really afraid that I will be poorly again. He is also worried about the nightmare of no sleep for first few months. I don't want to MAKE him have another, but I would really like to have a sibling for my son.