Anybody have older kids?

[luckylady]

Hello!!

Im new around here..and Im 5 weeks pregnant.

Im just sounding out to see if any of you have older children..my boys are 10..and will almost be 11 when the baby is due.

Just after some advice about my feelings...

Thanks

L xx

 

[MummyJess]

Hiya, congratulations on your pregnancy.

My kids aren't quite as old as yours but I do have a daughter who will be 7 when the new baby comes. My other 2 girls will be 4 and 18 months.

You say you want advice about your feelings. Was this planned? My new baby was a big surprise and we were shocked at first but really happy now, although I know it will be hard work. Do your boys know yet?

 

[luckylady]

What Im actually getting at is that I kinda feel that Im letting them down as I will be giving up work..and wont be able to give them all they want as they turn into teenagers!!

No I havent told a soul yet..just waiting until the 12 week scan has been Ok'd

L xx

 

[MummyJess]

Bless ya, I can understand your feelings. I am sure your boys will be so excited about the new arrival but I know the novelty won't last and reality will kick in. I'm not really in the same boat so can't offer much advice, but I am sure your boys will surprise you. I don't know how mature they are and how much they will understand your decision but I would say try to involve them as much as possible so they feel a part of it. They may be more understanding than you think, especially if they feel like they've had an input in it.

I don't work (well, a couple of hours a week running a swim school, but not a significant contribution to the household finance), but this was a decision me and my OH took together. We decided that it was more important for me to be home while the kids are young than it was to have big holidays and expensive things. We are lucky that my OH's business does very well so we are still able to have a nice house and 2 cars etc, but the thing that means most to my kids is that I am there to pick them up from school, and play with them and do all the everyday stuff. They do get plenty of things but even if we couldn't afford it all, I still believe that they would be just as happy.

By the way, your willpower is amazing! My kids knew I was pregnant as soon as we did and all our friends and family knew within a few hours! We were just so shocked and then excited!

Hope you work your feelings out and good luck for telling the boys. I know there are ladies on here who have older kids so hopefully they may post too with their experiences of how their kids reacted

 

[aramintalovegrove]

Hi first of all welcome!

I have a very mature 8 year old who was very proud to be an only child, this LO was definatly not planned (see sig) I had alot of struggles at the begining of the pregnancy, like you, to do with change of life style and also such an upheaval for a child that was comfortable with our family as it was.

At the time I fell pregnant I wasnt sure what I was going to do and I was so upset about the whole thing we had to tell DS what was going on, I still feel very guilty that I put that on his young shoulders

He has coped remarkably well and I am lucky enough to have a sensible boy who understands life changes and has embraced this pregnancy rather well considering how he could have taken it.

Im sure your boys will understand the changes once they know what is happening, they are alot more adjustable than we give them credit for

another plus point for me is that after this rotten pregnancy I have given DS the best sex education EVER

If you need to chat feel free to PM me

Congrats on the new LO by the way

 

[CH0C0H0LIC]

Hiya and Congratulations

I have an 11yo son that lives with myself and my partner and my partner has a 7yo daughter who lives with her Mum. Both our children are looking forward to the new arrival and we try and keep them involved by taking them to scans and listening to the babys heartbeat on the doppler.

We are on a very low income due to my illness/disability and my partner is unable to work at the moment as he is more or less my carer. My son obviously wants things that his schoolfriends have but to be honest I've never been flush with money so he's learnt that although it's always worth giving it a try and asking for things - chances are he'll get a no anyways I feel as kids get older they understand things better and i don't feel my son resents not having stuff - he's even learnt to find more bargains than I do at car boot sales.... damn kids putting me to shame!

I'm sure your kids will love the new addition and anything you are worried about will fade into the background very quickly!

Good luck with everything

Sarah xxx
p.s. I'm with aramintalovegrove on the sex ed side of things - although I was a bit like a guinea pig at first as I fell pg just as my son was learning about pregnancy etc in sex ed.... I REFUSED to get my belly out in the classroom though - there are limits!!

 

[hennaly]

ok so here is my list

son nearly 20
son nearly 19
daughter 17
son 15
daughter 14
son 12

They are all so excited i dont think i will get a look in, the biggest problem i have is every name i choose one of them says 'no way you aint callin it that' so looks like i will have to be more thoughtful of them this time
I cant really think of a down side except we are so skint its untrue.

 

[Fly]

hi lucky lady and congratulations my son is ten and we've had a few problems in him adjusting to the idea of becoming a big brother after so long... twas quite a shock to the system to go from bein only child for all them years to now he has two half siblings (his dad had a baby girl a few weeks back). I understand how you are feeling cos have felt those things too but then i decided that he's had sole and undivided attention for all them years and is no different to any other eldest child in that now he has to share with his siblings...we've made quite a big point of spending quality time with him and doing things with him that we won't necessarily have time for once his baby brother is born. I am going to try and schedule in some time every week though where just me and my eldest go and have coffee or something Kids are amazingly resiliant so am sure once they know you will see a wonderful pride and maturity come through in their behaviour and attitude.. charlie can't wait now to meet his baby brother he is very proud and is really helpful around the house bless him drop us a pm if you want to chat xxxxxx

 

[bunnymom1980]

I have a 10 year old son and he loves the fact that I'm at home to see him off to school and am here when he comes home. He's really helpful too, I'm sure your boys will be fine.

 

[Carley1985]

I don't have older children but i was one if you get what i mean. When my little sister was born i was nearly 11 and my brother 9. We loved it! We didn't feel left out because we were old enough to understand and were old enough to be involved when we wanted to be. I think we grew up being closer because of it as there was a mutual need to protect out little sister and show a good example - we thought it was funny how she always used to try to copy us.

 

[kathmac]

hi there Im expecting my fourth, my kids are 11, 7 and 5, we havent told them yet, waiting for the 12 week scan to make sure everything is ok, I think they will be fine about it, knowing my eldest she will come out with something along the lines of "oh you still do it"!!LOL