Anxiety has been so bad...

[Merfairy]

Hi all,

Just a query regarding anxiety; my Oh and I argued a few months ago and we argued about separating. I had said if I were to leave then I would take our baby girl with us and he said he would take me to court for custody if that be the case and that he would convince the court I was a bad mum and had mental health problems.

But ever since he has said that my anxiety levels have been through the roof and I have spoke to the health visitor and doctor about this and each time I broke down in tears. I could not believe my OH would say this even if he did not mean it. I am still so stressed about it and am thinking of getting some counselling or something to deal with this, but I just feel so worthless and crap and I am a good mum and love my baby more then life itself, but I cannot put this to rest its like out of all the things he could have done that has absoloutly destroyed any trust I had for him. The health visitors suggested I was in a controlling relationship and that I should look at something called the freedom programme, but I am scared to consider this through fear of losing my baby.

I am also pregnant again and he was nasty on friday evening, I ended up in tears. Any advice would be appreciated.

thanks

 

[dyscochick]

it doesnt sound like a healthy relaionship hun, i think you need to look into a way out and talk to someone about the custody issues. I'd have thought it unlikely you'd loose LO hun, there is lots of advice out there because its an easy threat to make. get some good advice from a trusted source if you can xx

 

[Merfairy]

it doesnt sound like a healthy relaionship hun, i think you need to look into a way out and talk to someone about the custody issues. I'd have thought it unlikely you'd loose LO hun, there is lots of advice out there because its an easy threat to make. get some good advice from a trusted source if you can xx

Hi, he did take it back after what he said but sometimes things stick and it has stuck. I am thinking of seeking advice just to protect myself, it has ruined anything we had left though.. !!

 

[dyscochick]

i would get advice, especially if your anxiety is bad because of it. tough huney,

 

[kat1988]

I'm sorry to hear your so stressed out about all of this, I think dyscochick is right u need to get some advice about this, even if he took it back he still said it and can say it again just as easily! the last thing u need right now is extra stress so try talking to someone, I know where I live there is something called italk, a phone based councilling service for anxiety and depression sufferers, maybe there's something similar near you? Nhs direct or your gp will be able to advise you
also your oh can sue you for custody but it's very unlikely any court would give sole custody to either of you without very good reason (eg abuse, neglect, proof of drug use etc) but you can always seek advice about this through citizens advice xx

 

[Merfairy]

Hi I have spoken to GP, she felt he said what he did to make me feel insecure about being a mum and he is playing on my weakness; I am thinking about what I am going to do in the future as we have another baby due in March and I am not sure he will support me financially, after all I pay for our daughter out my wages, but to pay for two alone will be impossible. I would be better of alone with my two children. Things have improved of late, but things are still not 100% so i am trying to keep an open mind and keep my anxiety at bay; thanks for replies xx

 

[dyscochick]

Good luck hun, that can't be an easy place to be, you have hard decisions tomake but if he is deliberately making you feel insecure about your home life you have to reconsider the health of the relationship and what you are getting out of it.

 

[littlemiss83]

Aww hun

firstly - your doc is right he's said these things to make you insecure. He might be not very nice at times, but guaranteed the thought of you leaving with his baby would be torturous for him, hense why he's fighting back any way he can. (in a nasty way) doesn't make it right, but might be a reason.

If you's cant sort it i'd say get out of the situation asap, because it will escalate alot when new LO comes, new babies are alot of stress, let alone number 2.