Antenatal class stress

[Hazel]

I spoke to m/w about antenatal classes when I last saw her and she said they can't do them as they are short staffed.

She told me to look online but they are so expensive and we can't afford £200.

I don't know what to do now and I feel like crying . It's our first baby and I'm clueless, I ask my mum and mil questions and they say don't worry you'll find all this out at the classes. I really want and neeed to go to classes.

 

[Lindsay]

Hey hun please don't stress too much about the classes. I was clueless when I was PG with my son and so went to the classes and they didn't tell you anything that wasn't in the book that you get from the m/w at your first appointment. In fact I thought that they were a waste of time. You will be absolutely fine hun

Xxx

 

[Hazel]

It's just so frutrating.

I assumed I would get at least get offered one day with an NHS antenatal class.

 

[Sherlock]

TBH you don't miss much. The breastfeeding was good and I also attended the labour/pain relief one but skipped the rest.

I suggest if you plan to breastfeed you do some reading online and watch some clips etc. Also you can arrage once baby is here to see a BF'ing counsellor to help you if you struggle with it.

You can decide if you want to manually express milk, use a pump or an electric one etc later on in pregnancy. I personally have read the info am going to doing it myself by hand as its meant to be simple once you get the knack

With regards to the labour and pain relief one, again, nothing you cannot find out via reading and watching some clips etc. Pain relief will also be covered when you do your hospital maternity unit tour later on so you can ask your questions then.

There are breathing techniques, lots of books and CD's etc to hire from library on all that. Or from some place like Amazon I am sure.

The labour/pain relief class didn't tell me anything I didn't already know fwiw. I'd done my reading, watching etc and knew more than they told me. The BF'ing class simply reinforced I want to BF and that self expressing was the way to go for me. As to technique etc, my MW showed us a few positions etc but said we would find what worked for us when the time comes. Also if in hospital they will help you to ensure baby feeds. And if homebirthing my MW says she stays for a few hours to ensure baby feeds properly and then she comes back to check on us regularly.

 

[Bagpuss17]

Ahhh, that's such a shame. Also very unfair that they're not available to all new parents to be.

Whilst many of us know a lot from reading up, I still found the ante natal classes useful because they tell you how things operate within your hospital.

When I was pregnant with my son, the local midwives ran classes as well as the hospital. We went to the hospital ones. It might be worth finding out if they offer them at your hospital as well?

If you do want to breast feed, you should get lots of support at hospital on that front after the birth. Though I didn't find all of it helpful myself but that's another story.

 

[Hazel]

I'm plannng on going to the birthing centre when the time comes.

I was relying on the classes as when I say I'm clueless I mean I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I've never even held a baby!! People say to me it will come naturally but I need practical advice about how much milk to feed baby and temperatures and I need someone to show me how to change a nappy and bathe her. I don't even know what I'm supposed to buy, I've found some lists but half the stuff I don't even know what it is!

I wasn't worried about all this as I assumed I would be having classes and they would tell me there. My husband was actually quite shocked at how little I knew this morning when I started crying .

 

[Mildly]

Aww if it makes you feel any better, I don't know much either

Could you maybe pop along to a mother and baby morning in your area when you have a day off? I'd go with a list of questions, I'm sure the mums would be happy to help you out and pass on their wisdom

 

[Sherlock]

I was relying on the classes as when I say I'm clueless I mean I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I've never even held a baby!! People say to me it will come naturally but I need practical advice about how much milk to feed baby and temperatures and I need someone to show me how to change a nappy and bathe her. I don't even know what I'm supposed to buy, I've found some lists but half the stuff I don't even know what it is!

I wasn't worried about all this as I assumed I would be having classes and they would tell me there. My husband was actually quite shocked at how little I knew this morning when I started crying .

Don't panic, everyone has to start somewhere All of us here have had to start from the beginning at one point in time.

I think you really need to invest in a couple of good books and do some reading Also this forum if you browse through some older threads has some great advice.

Drop me a PM and I'm happy to talk you through some things like changing nappies etc. I've had 15 odd years experience as a nanny and I'd be happy to share a bit with you of the basics. It really isn't difficult and you can practice on a doll or some such a few times to get to grips with it.

Same for some of the things you will need. Once you have an idea in mind of how you would like to try to do things, you can begin to compile a list of goodies you might need. Again, happy to hear what you think and offer a few pointers. And also I am sure other ladies here will be happy to share if you ask them once you have an idea.

But please don't feel terrible. Really, we all had to start at the same place

 

[aramintalovegrove]

Believe me NO amount of looking after someone elses child will prepare you for having your own so please dont feel too lost!. I had learnt tons of OBGYN and midwife stuff during my nurse trainig, done hundreds of plcements within maternity and post natel areas, taught antinatel classes and delivered a baby, plus years and years of expierience looking after foster siblings and being a mothers help abroad.........But I was still a novice! After bringing up my DS pretty well I feel totally like Im doing it for the first time all again now!

Ask us lots of ?'s Im sure we will be happy to help, feeding (be it brest or prping bottles) bathing, dressing and changing a nappy are all shown to you at the hospital. At mine they have to tick that you are confident in these areas before you can leave!!

And remember that the MW and HV are around alot in the first few weeks for support and advice

 

[Hazel]

Cheers girls,

I'm feeling a bit better about it all today.

I think I had a mini nervous breakdown yesterday, this weekend I've realised that I'm going to be a mummy . I decided to start shopping and realised I had no idea what I was supposed to buy, topped with not being able to get any classes I had a melt down.

After I had pulled myself together by the evening I actually ordered the cot and bedroom furniture so that's one thing done.

I used to be so organised and competent until my brain fell out .

 

[X5OT]

Have you checked out the NCT website - they run antenatal classes. We went and found them very useful. What's alos nice is that I am still in contact with 2 of the other couples so we can share advice and support as our daughters are such similar ages. I do't know what your financial circumstances are, but I did notice that they state:

"We would like to make sure every parent can benefit from our courses. We therefore have lower prices for parents on lower incomes. These discounts vary from a minimum payment of £20 to 50% of the full course price. We are also happy for you to pay for your course in installments"

So would be worth contacting them if antenatal classes are something you want to do

http://www.nct.org.uk/in-your-area/course-finder/course-prices

 

[Redshoes]

Wanted to pass on some
You will get tons of support from this forum for a start And please don't get yourself too worried about the classes, you can definitely read up on all issues and learn as much if not more than any class could teach Any issues you wish to dicuss with a health professional you can discuss with your MW

Also, I'm sure you'll be having a tour.look around the birthing centre? You can have a chat with the staff there when you go, bringing up any issues again you have with them there No amount of reading or watching other people's children can fully prepare you for your own labour, birth and child, so please as others have said, you will be just fine, you have allsorts of support available to you, from your MW to your best friend, they are a lot more handy that you realize Writing a birth plan may help cover all eventualities for you, so you don't feel anything's going to shockyou as it were;

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/search/?query=birth+plan

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/l ... alclasses/

http://www.nctsales.co.uk/prodlist.asp? ... &parent=69

Very best wishes, there's plenty of time to de-worry yourself and feel very prepared and informed

 

[moss]

If you want to take a class you should call them and ask about reduced fees. I have heard that a lot of places don't like people missing out because of finances and can be very flexible by reducing prices, making payment plans or coming to some other arrangement. Sorry if someone already said this... I'm at work and can't read all of the messages.