Am I really ready?

[linxminx21]

Am I really ready for month after month of heartbreak?
A tww from hell that feels like a year!
And loads of negative tests because... Let's face it I just can't help myself!

I was so sure this month.. It just proves how cruel this body of mine can be to play tricks on me like this.
I know the nausea, tiredness and sore boobs must have been from progesterone rise now. It must have dipped yday because I had a huge Pms melt down out of no where and was so emotional.
I still tested this morning though... Bfn 10dpo.

I know it's still early but af due in 3 days and (TMI) I had a #2 and had a Tiny bit of spotting.
This is how it happens every month!

Now Sat here crying like a baby (what a saying) and wondering if I can do this to myself again!
I think you should get some sort of tough loving/counseling before ttc! Lmao

 

[millielaura]

It's so hard ..i don't think I ever want to ttc again even though I always wanted 3 or 4 children xx

 

[linxminx21]

It is hard but women are amazing at picking themselves up and getting on with it. Iv come out the house to help oh at work just to stop me wollowing. Iv had my cry I'm fine with it. Yes when af is in full flow I'll probably feel sad again for an hour or so. But onto a fresh new cycle with a load of hope

 

[Sunflower1]

I know how devastating it is. I think it is made much worse by the fact that at the exact time we realise we are not pregnant, we are majorly hormonal and emotional anyway! Good to get it all out. Good luck for next cycle xx

 

[millielaura]

I cope a lot better since my daughter but I still hate how it steals so much happiness away and feeling in limbo all the time. Took nearly 3 years for my daughter though and we've been ttc pretty much soon as my postpartum bleeding stopped lol she was born in Jan. I really don't want to get to the year mark xx

 

[MoominGirl]

I think for me it's the way it takes over my life that I find hardest. I want to live my life but sometimes it's difficult to plan ahead especially when these plans don't just involve me and OH. I feel like I'm on this endless loop of try, hope, fail, heartbreak. Add in the hormonal changes and it's just a dangerous combination!! I find keeping busy helps but I can only distract myself for so long. Wouldn't wish this on anyone.

 

[linxminx21]

I really hope you ladies get your bfp soon. So many women go through this month after month, many with no explanation of why. I am so very lucky to have the children Iv got and Im thankful for them every day.
But no children or 10, nothing takes away the longing for a baby. It fills every minute I have spare, I'm constantly reading and researching everything I can think of and I think it stresses me out more than I know. I sit and think well I'm not stressed anyway... But I must be really!
Good luck ladies... We've all got to believe our time will come or what's the point in even trying!

 

[Melly41]

I hope you are feeling a little better? I remember my body playing cruel tricks last year when we were ttc. I was 3 days late which never happens and sore boobs again unheard of. I was convinced only to find af had arrive the day after i got bfn! It was like she was purposefully waiting until i took the test so she could rub her nose in it....put me off and decided to stop ttc. A few months ltr got suprise and v unexpected bfp as we hadnt been trying. Sadly it ended in a mmc in sept but has rekindled our desire yo go through this madness again! Take care and fingers crossed your time will come very soon x

 

[linxminx21]

Thanx girls I feel much better (until af shows her face) I went and helped out at oh work and went food shopping. Boring but took my mind off it. We then went and bought a big inflatable santa Iv had my eye on for outside the house! It's the small things!
I'm going to try again this coming month then have 3 months off. I know it sounds silly to have time off when it could take a long time anyway.

We haven't had contraception since my little girl was born 6 yrs ago.

But there's method to my madness... I have two November babies... 4 days apart and would (if I can help it) love a baby in a different month... January onwards would be better for us. We have so many birthdays in November and December already! It seems our whole family is born I'm the winter lol
But if it's meant to be then I'll accept anything. We won't be using contraception or abstaining. It will be a case of no charting or opks!

 

[Mrs CW]

I’m glad your feeling a bit better. I hate how obsessed I can become. With my 1st I was using OPKs and looking into every symptom every month. My 2nd I fell the month before we were officially meant to start trying so didn’t have the stress of TTC with him.
I completely understand your plan. Our 2nd is an August born and would prefer not to have another August birthday so won’t be trying this month. I think we’ll be ntnp in the new year to reduce the stress on both of us x

 

[linxminx21]

We've been ntnp for 6 yrs now and it was a case of if it happens it happens but it never did.
So we're now in a position where it's time to use opks to time ovulation and try that for a few Months.
If by March we have nothing happening then I may buy a thermometer and start temping too. But I'm unsure on that one atm as during the week I can't temp perfect but weekends is a bit all over.

 

[Sunflower1]

I've been temping for ages and temp when I wake up in the night - it's probably a different time each day but there's still a very clear pattern. I think it helps to reassure me I have ovulated and know roughly when. Also it gives you warning AF is about to start.

 

[linxminx21]

Yeah Iv been reading about it for a while and it does seem like it takes so much guess work out!
Is their an app with a monthly fee to pay to track it or a free one? Ff isn't it?
I wake for a wee almost every night!

 

[JustTrying]

I really hope you ladies get your bfp soon. So many women go through this month after month, many with no explanation of why. I am so very lucky to have the children Iv got and Im thankful for them every day.
But no children or 10, nothing takes away the longing for a baby. It fills every minute I have spare, I'm constantly reading and researching everything I can think of and I think it stresses me out more than I know. I sit and think well I'm not stressed anyway... But I must be really!
Good luck ladies... We've all got to believe our time will come or what's the point in even trying!

Hun, you fill me with no hope.

You already have children and your feelings/anxiousness to concieve again are still as raw and fresh as a first timer.

Im pregnant with first and dont want to go through the "ttc" phase again. It's just so obsessive, we drive ourselves up the wall and probably don't help the process by stressing so much.

I also want lots of children. great.

Hugs to you and all th other ladies going through the same I want to tell you all to stop obsessing and get over it and it will happen when you stop "trying" but who am I kidding. That advice falls on everyones deaf ears (including mine ofcourse!)

 

[linxminx21]

I really hope you ladies get your bfp soon. So many women go through this month after month, many with no explanation of why. I am so very lucky to have the children Iv got and Im thankful for them every day.
But no children or 10, nothing takes away the longing for a baby. It fills every minute I have spare, I'm constantly reading and researching everything I can think of and I think it stresses me out more than I know. I sit and think well I'm not stressed anyway... But I must be really!
Good luck ladies... We've all got to believe our time will come or what's the point in even trying!

Hun, you fill me with no hope.

You already have children and your feelings/anxiousness to concieve again are still as raw and fresh as a first timer.

Im pregnant with first and dont want to go through the "ttc" phase again. It's just so obsessive, we drive ourselves up the wall and probably don't help the process by stressing so much.

I also want lots of children. great.

Hugs to you and all th other ladies going through the same I want to tell you all to stop obsessing and get over it and it will happen when you stop "trying" but who am I kidding. That advice falls on everyones deaf ears (including mine ofcourse!)

Lol!
I don't think it gets easier for any amount of children. My friends mum has 12 children and couldn't have any more her body just gave in. She spent so much money going to see fertility specialists just to see if there were Any hope! Unfortunately there wasn't but she now has 4 beautiful grand children!

Stop trying..? What's that? Relaxing... Ppfffttt... Not even when I'm asleep Lmao! X x x

 

[millielaura]

I always thought ttc number 2 would be a lot easier and I'm some ways it is because I feel greatful to have her but the desperation of wanting to be pregnant is still there and all the feelings of failure all over again but this time I feel a failure to her and worry I won't be able to give her a sibling. I can defo see now that no matter how many children you have if you want another then it just as raw and hard to deal with. I started ttc when my girl was 4 weeks and my PP bleeding had stopped because it took 3 years for her to be born so I had a tiny baby and was still longing for a second tiny baby, it's crazy how strong the natural longing is xxx

 

[linxminx21]

Millie it certainly is. And it also amazes me how I can look at a family with a newborn and still feel Insanely jealous.. Even though Iv been there twice before.
One of my family members can fall when she doesn't want to, and so easily, finds out early ect. I absolutely sobbed a few weeks ago because she fell with a multiple pregnancy. She already has 3 kids. Doesn't want anymore but uses no protection. We've had no protection for 6yrs and nothing.
I know being a bitter old won't get me no where but I just can't help it. I shocked oh and myself when I admitted I was so jealous of her. (even though her life is a mess) he was rather upset with me for that lol!

I know it will be my time again soon but Iv already got a 6yr gap between 1 and 2 (Barr 4 days) and number 2 is now 6 (despite what my ticker says) so it's going to be an even bigger gap... And if I don't fall this month we're having a quick break for reasons I said above about other birthdays so then it will be a 7 yr age gap it just gets bigger and bigger!
Iv just got to trust my body will know what to do! And soon please x

 

[millielaura]

Yeah I get some envious when I see siblings etc it's hard isnt it! Awww it must be really hard seeing babies now your children are older. I get really broody seeing bumps and tiny babies now lol my daughter took her first steps this week and it's made her seem so un baby like lol. When I see her at groups with other babies I get a pang too cause I know she would love a friend at home. My friend is going to have 3 under 2.5! xxx

 

[Maximus17]

hi lots of hugsxx I feel really broody too but it's just not happening for us, it happened in 3 months with my daughter so I thought it would also be quick this time but no luck so far. I had no idea what it's like to feel like this. Every month I feel this is it but not. I just don't know why, some couples have secondary infertility maybe thats what we have, I have made my decision not to try too long as it's also eating me up, i can't plan holidays, I can't do anything about the future. I just want to know either way. I will be ovulating in 4 days so I am getting ready to BD quite a lot before than and also good luck with your TTC x