Am i letting people down finding out Gender? Update.

[redbear]

Ive been team yellow all the way through mainly thinking i would be excited towards the end... however im just terrified of the its a girl/boy moment keep dreaming about it.
So i have a scan today and im thinking of finding out so that i can stop been so nervous, maybe it will keep me a bit calmer knowing, but do you think im letting people down?
I mean people have bought me neutral clothes even tho i dont like colour much so would rather have cream no matter what.
Im torn my OH doesn't care when we find out he says its me giving birth so me that needs to feel calm.
What do you think ladies... at 20 weeks i was happy to wait but as it gets closer its scaring me and i feel a lot of pressure because people seem to want it to be a certain sex. Also i still don't feel that close to the baby, can't imagine it or anything and it may help if i can start saying his/ her name.
I really wanted to be team yellow but at the minute im not excited just scared and thats not what i wanted.
What do you guy's think? xx

 

[roxane 1985]

it completely upto you if you find out, then if you do ask ppl if they would like to know as some family and friends may want a surprise.

i found out with both of mine, ive one of each

next time i wont find out as i want to experience the excitement of my partner annoucing it over the theatre table lol

 

[Rachaellius]

I agree its completely up to you hun. You wouldnt be letting anyone else down at all because really it has nothing to do with anyone else. Maybe you and your OH could find out and keep it a suprise to everyone else perhaps? xx

 

[Lilelephant]

You have to do what u want babe! We found out because we wanted to know, but if u want to keep it a surprise then don't find putti please others it's ur baby

 

[pinkyprincess]

Screw other people! It's your baby you've nurtured and grown inside you if you want to know that's your choice!

 

[Princess81]

Totally up to you- do what you feel comfortable with. Also just because you find out for yourself doesn't mean you have to tell anyone else. I was team yellow up to 33 weeks and found out by mistake at a scan. I personally wanted to stay team yellow but I haven't told anyone else what sex the baby is, so it's still a surprise for them x

 

[redbear]

I know that i won't be able to keep it to myself tho... screw it i may find out... its what i want and its my baby... thanks girls i feel a bit guilty. x

 

[x_larlybelle_x]

U shouldn't feel guilty. Sod everyone else - its u that has to prepare for the birth and feel calm and collected. If knowing the sex is gonna help then do it! If u can't make ur mind up, wait I'll ur in the scan and then decide. See how u feel once u've seen baby again xx

 

[roxane 1985]

advantages of finding out - SHOPPING SPREE !!!!!!!!!!!!!

disadvantages- ok so it maybe exciting to find out after labour, something to motivate you through it. also my god u spend some money once uve found out as me and alot of ladies here found out lol

 

[nikki8092]

I didnt find out with paige or jake and it was a wonderful suprise at the end. This pregnancy we found out and im still excited about her arriving. You could find out but just keep it to yourselves, thats what my friend did xx

 

[Princess81]

It's easier to keep it to yourself than you'd imagine. I'm all cos I've got a secret

 

[SarahJane88]

I agree, it is completely up to you, forget about everyone else. x

 

[ISH]

I'm all for finding out. As it wasn't an indifferent matter for either OH or I (he wanted boy, I wanted girl), finding out helped with bonding and getting used to the idea. V good for shopping too, as roxane said.

Some people like surprises and can wait - if you're one of them, I'm sure it'll be a wonderful feeling at the end!

 

[Verity2011]

It's totally up to you and should always be your decision (and nice that OH is being so sweet about it). I wanted to know for practical reasons but had a lot of pressure from OH's family not to find out and that I was spoiling the surprise. I didn't listen and also wanted to let them all know as they were desperate for a girl and knew I would go crazy at them if we had a boy and they were all disappointed when he had arrived. Turns out we are having a gorgeous little boy and I just went ahead and told everyone so they would get used to the idea now. It's your pregnancy and birth so it's your decision hon xxxxx

 

[redbear]

Well an update - i asked and was told they won't tell you after 20 weeks because its not as accurate :S I said i thought that it would be more accurate and she said no because the baby is in a ball and squished up they don't know 100% so don't want to tell you because they wouldn't want you to rely on it....
Thats my mind made up for me then, a bit gutted because i had got excited about finding out feel really down now just because i had got used to the idea. xx

 

[x_larlybelle_x]

oh hun so sorry they couldn't tell you, thats pants was it a normal 2d scan or a 3d one? xx

 

[redbear]

Just a normal 2d one, she said they don't tell you before she even looked at the scan to see if she could. But ive looked and private gender scans will tell you up untill the end :S OH say's he will pay for one if im still upset about it.... but its a lot of money! x

 

[Olive]

Ah hun what a shame. He or she will surprise you on the big day though x

 

[redbear]

Yeh im forced to stay yellow im afraid, i wish i hadn't changed my mind in the first place because i think its the fact it was out of my control that upset me x

 

[Lulabell]

It'll give you reason to push harder Hun. I'm sorry the choice was taken out of your hands. I sometimes feel like I wish I found out but it's not long now.xx