Am I being unreasonable

[Lucyboo]

My in laws want to buy a car seat for my daughter for when they have her on my return to work very soon. I have said to my husband I'd like a say in the seat they buy her as there is so many differences and some seats just don't suit some children and with the previous bad press a while back would like to give them a choice of say 3-4 in what they buy for her. I have even offered to put money in so she has a better seat but my husband won't confront them with this saying I'm being controlling etc but it's my daughter. I just needed to rant and hope I'm not being completely unreasonable wanting a say in what my daughter will be travelling in their cars.

 

[violet13]

You are not being unreasonable Hun, you just want your daughter safe which is perfectly understandable. If you have a good relationship with your in laws id just have a chat with them my in laws would be totally fine in me asking to have say in what seat my son was in but I know not all are like that just have a chat to them see what happens xxx

 

[flexilexi394]

I think it would be weird for them not to ask you which one you'd like! You need to decide which one not them. Just say to them that you've been looking and seen some good ones and you'd like to go shopping with them or something xxx

 

[Laurajcole]

My mum & FIL both have seats in there cars for our kids. But I didn't choose them, it didn't even occur to me to pick. They both went to Halfords and were advised by the specialist what suitted there car and needs. You could perhaps bring it up in conversation to do something like that, then you know they are being advised properly and the seat is fitted correctly.

 

[Lucyboo]

Thanks ladies, feel a bit better now.
I get on alright with them but they seem to livein a bubble and think what they want /like is always right.
Also would probably be offended if I tell them to get what we want. Was thinking of giving a choice of 3/4 and offer to top up if over their budget. They want to go to halfords but tbh the choice there compared to some other retailers isn't brilliant plus I might sound petty but I don't trust the retailers to fit the seats for us after all the bad press a year or 2 ago. I'd rather do it ourselves/ help from YouTube etc..x

 

[Belfa]

I don't think you're u reasonable at all and tbh, I would just suggest they get the same as the one you have.

My Husband and I fell out over the car seat, in the end he won. We went with the top scoring car seat from Which however, on some forums this seat is not recommend due to not being rear facing and having an impact bar but my DH couldn't fathom that it had come out top in all the safety reviews therefore how can it not be one of the best.

If I fell out with him over it I don't know how you'd get on explaining the same to in laws!x

 

[Phoenix85]

Definitely not being unreasonable. You need to make sure it's rear facing and safe.

PS I wouldn't buy any seat that Which recommends, they don't understand car seats and have given really good seats stupid bad scores simply because they don't understand how to use the seat! There's a post about it somewhere on FB x
https://www.facebook.com/RearFacing...535207459452/1164474660232164/?type=3&theater

 

[Kiagirl]

I won't let my mil take my daughter in the car. She leaves her purse on the roof and drives off lol. She car shares so would have to take the seat in and out and I don't trust her to fit it so I drop her off and pick her up. My daughter, my rules and if she doesn't like it fine, she just won't see her. My oh agrees his mum is dipsey and forgets to change her etc so is pleased he doesn't have a say.

I am fine with her going to my mums tho and they regularly take her away camping etc and have done since she was 11 months (she's 3 now) but I did buy them a seat as they are expensive and they are saving me childcare costs, perhaps that's a way of getting what you want?

 

[Rose83]

Not unreasonable at all. Personally I am really uncomfortable with other people driving my children because I think it's one of the most dangerous things you actually do with them. My daughter (18 months) has a maxi cosi 2way pearl and has only been driven by her aunt if she has that seat put in her car. She wanted to use some old seat she had from when her children were young (they are 15 and 21!) and I said absolutely no way ever. We have the the super expensive isofix bases but I'm just not willing to take chances if it's somewhere they regularly travel. So if I was in your position I would absolutely be picking either the one, or a range to choose from for them. When I had my son my daughter travelled with her aunt and they happened to send a photo of her in the car and I'm sure she didn't looked strapped in tightly enough but my partner said I was being over the top - worth checking they know how to use it properly though x

 

[Lucyboo]

I'm glad most of you agree with me, think is I'd rather them not take her out and tbh in the long term I am hoping they will only have to watch her once a fortnight, worst case twice I will be using my mum most days and she doesn't drive but I trust her and I've decided I'll use them for when I'm on call ( if I am called and for lates) on the hope she will be with them just a few hours rather than all day. I can't believe this turned into a huge argument with my hubby. On the positive it looks like I will only be away 3 days on the second week of my back to work training meaning they can have her about 4 hours that week.

 

[Rose83]

I'm the same lucyboo - I'd rather no one else took her out in a car. I'm thinking about child care for when I go back to work and where I live everyone uses child minders whereas last year I lived somewhere where there were plenty of nursery options but I don't want a childminder purely because I don't want to be worrying about someone taking her out. We recently saw a new child minder in the area with kids who she was struggling to control getting out of the car and not run into the main road - I was horrified especially as I know this woman comes recommended as one of the best! X

 

[Hoping for no2]

I'm a bit more relaxed about this with my 2nd tbh. I'm grateful to mum with helping me out with childcare and appreciate she wants to be out and about with the kids. I gave my mum my old one to use in her car as the one she had was about £9.99 from asda and just seemed very flimsy and moved around a lot in the car. Perhaps just turn up with one and say you got it to save them the bother and felt you should get it for them as you are grateful for their help etc? X