Already feel like bad mother

[starstruck2011]

Hi all

Sorry not been on much, i moved house and still have no internet !! For another week anyway so Im on my phone at mo which is shocking lol

Im really worrying about birth and whether or not I will be able to go thru with it or look after my baby.
Its making me feel really down.
My OH was saying nice baby things to my tummy and I said I dont know what to say to her.
I occasionally stroke my belly but never talk to her. I just dont kno what to say. Iv never been gud with babies//kids nor felt maternal.
Im worried all this is going to affect the way I care for baby.
Im feeling useless and like a bad mother

 

[jacy90]

To be honest with you, I've felt very similar to you! I've had very little experience with babies (I'm the youngest in my family), and never know what to do with children when I do see them! I feel a bit silly when I talk to my bump too cos I never know what to say really, even though I really want to.
To be honest, I think thatit all kicks in when it has to. You'll meet your baby for the first time, and know what to do - it's instinct! (At least that's what I'm hoping happens!) It all comes with experience, and we're all gonna be fumbly and not knowing what we're doing at first, but once we get used to it, we'll be fine, I'm sure!
The fact that you're worrying about it says that you care anyway, so its obvious you'll be a good mummy! In a couple of months time, you'll be wondering what the fuss was about! lol

 

[Karate Kid]

Bless you Hun, hubby is petrified that he will be a rubbish dad, he has never held a newborn or changed a nappy even though he has a nephew and a niece. I keep telling him that it will all
Kick in when the time comes.,.. You will be fine, all your maternal instincts will shine through and you will be smitten with LO. one of my friends admits she is not fond of babies, she has twin boys and I cannot think of a better example. She adores her boys and vice versa.

I am worried that I am going to make the same mistakes that my mother has made (we have an interesting relationship). I am just trying to trust that I will figure out right from wrong.

As the previous poster said (on my phone so can't see who it was) the fact you are worried shows you are already a fab mum because you care xx

 

[zoe82]

I've always been rubbish as well, and I don't even have an excuse as I'm the oldest of 4, and my 2 brothers were born when I was 17, then 19, so I had plenty of chances to help out, but never did (used to be a right cow!), now I worry like you about the same things, but like the others have said it'll kick in when your lo arrives, and nobody is born an expert on what to do anyway, everyone has to learn as they go along. Try not to worry, you'll be great!

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk 2

 

[vixxie77]

I felt like this with DD and I had quite a bit of experience with babies too. I kept saying to everyone that I didn't think I'd be able to look after a baby, but I did and here we are 19 months later I know everyone says it comes naturally, but its so true!! x x

 

[BellaRiven]

Hey Hun

You won't be a crap mother, I went through the same feelings before having Riven exactly the same and although I have wobbles where I worry that I am not doing right by him he hasn't suffered yet so I am doing something right, it's true your instinct does kick in to a certain extent.

In respects to giving birth that is something ou have to do ......sorry... Trust me when I say though once the baby is on its way everything else gets blocked out, it's just you xxxxxxx

 

[Loula]

i wasnt maternal at all and all my family said when i was pregnant how would i cope, i hated people touching my belly etc and thought theres no way in hell i could go through the birth and thought more of this nearer the day.
But with birth your body really does know what to do you just have to help it along a bit and as soon as that baby is with you it will kick in. Ive had a rocky week with my LO and at times ive had thoughts that i cant cope especially at night bt you do it naturally and when you see them gazing at you you know its all worth it.
Oh my i just read this back, i used to be such a hard faced cow and now im all gooey, whoops.
Youlll be fine and the fact your worrying is normal xxx

 

[jillianglen]

im the same also my dad had raised me untill he gave up when i was 15 havent spoke to him since but im worried that i wont know how to be a good mum because i never had one around growing up apart from weekends and even then she was to intrested in going out with her friends, she is like one on my best friends now but its still not the same when she offers advice i dont really take notice because she wasnt a good mum i hope i get that natural instinct when lo is born but i worry that im going to be just the same as her as she hated me as a baby

 

[jody1981]

I read your post and that was exactly how I was! My fella wanted kids years ago but I was not maternal at all, I had not even held a baby let alone change a nappy then we split up and I went travelling for 6months, we ended up getting back together and he still wanted kids but I was not up for it and kept putting it off until he finally gave me an ultimatium so I very relucantly gave in and it was the best thing I ever done!

My son was a preemie so when he arrived we could not hold him for a while but this thing kicks in inside of you and you just know what to do and what it best for the baby, nappies and bathing and all that other stuff you can be taught so dont worry about that - they show you in the hospital - I too was clueless.

It cant be that bad - Im now pregnant with #2 but I dont talk to my belly, like you I dont know what to say!

Everything will just come naturally to you, dont worry - enjoy the last few weeks you have left as a two cos very soon you will be a family of 3!!

 

[BumbleTumble]

dont worry hun, im the same.

i dont know what to say to my bump, and i feel silly if i do say anything. ive never been around kids and am definatley not the most maternal person in the world!

it doesnt mean you are going to be a bad mum, everyone experiences things differently, some ladies talk to their bump, some dont.

xxx

 

[starstruck2011]

Wowser wat a response. Thanks guys.
All your comments have made me feel a bit better. I guess we are built for this shizzle yea!?

With only 4 weeks togo, i guess its all just panic stations at mo.

Thanx again everyone x