Almost 3 years on

[H16]

Hi ladies,

It has been almost 3 years since I lost my first baby and for the first time in over a year and a half I got upset about it today.

Was talking to OH about it and he was saying how sad it was when we were on the bus back from hospital after getting the news baby had died and he was saying lovely sweet things about how much he loves me and I just started bawling my eyes out.

I thought I had healed a lot and I have been able to think about it a little for a long time now without getting upset but today it felt like I was right back there and the pain of it was very real again.

I felt really silly for getting so upset about it after such a long time like it was yesterday again

I guess I kidded myself into thinking I was fully healed, maybe you never are?

Sorry, I don't really know the point of this post, just feeling sad and needed to vent x

 

[JJ Mum]

Oh hugs H16, I don't think it ever goes away does it.
It's 5 years for my angel baby on the 12th of march.
Mothersday is just a couple of days after this year just like it was that weekend, started mc on the 12th very early morning, had to stay in friday night , then i got out of the hosp from my d&c and blood transfusions late on the saturday and then had to wake up to mothersday. I always do sonething on mothers day rather than the 12th, i will tend my special rose and tidy round it just by myself. Somedays things just bring it all back,

Big hugs, it's all part of healing and part of remembering your special baby x

 

[laurat]

Im sorry you have felt this way. I dont know if it ever really does heal if Im honest. I also had my mc 4 years ago on Feb the 18th and the day still makes me upset. It is my sisters birthday too so try not to let it. The majority of times I dont think about the mc but when I do it still hurts. I think what it would be like if it hadnt happened. Hugs to you!

 

[platypus]

Dont't feel silly at all. It is one of the worst things that can happen to us so its only natural for us to be affected forever by it, even if most of the time we get on with life and don't let it affect us.