All Of Them :( :(

[Dragonfly Fi]

I dont really know where to start but i need to get this down...

Lets start with my family, my mum is in Australia and though i love her dearly i dont see much of her because of the distance - my dad however lives just down the road from us and we see him very rarely, mostly when he wants something and hes always miserable and depressed so i always give him bits of money or whatever

Last week i was told by his step daughter that they are getting two boxer puppies which cost a considerable amount of money, considering i have had to 'bail' him out three times this year to the amounts of 80, 50 and 100 quid i am shocked that they can even begin to afford the upkeep of two (soon to be) large dogs, let alone pay the cost of getting them in the first place.

Last time my dad came over was on Saturday, his hair was dishevelled and all over the place, not good for someone in a project manager position working in an office, i gave him 20quid to get a haircut

the thing is, hes always pushing this sob story at me, always going on about how hard done by he is and how difficult life is for him where he is living, every now and again he phones me and asks me if he can move in here, knowing that there is no space and its almost like a guilt trip for me

Now i have just found out about these boxer dogs, questioned my brother about it all and it turns out that on top of dads ample 38 thousand a year salary, his partner earns 25k as well

i just feel like my old man has been playing me for a mug i feel like i have given and given and all i am getting back for it is this perpetual sob story which means he gets to cry at me and i get to give away more of our money (we live at the moment on my student loan and Liams 12k a year - not a massive budget, plus saving for the baby and going through all that... its been hard

Oh i cant even go into the rest of it now, will have to wait

sorry to rant i just am so upset by it all

 

[titch]

Im not surprised you're upset, that sounds like the behaviour of a teenager not a father. are you going to confront him about it?

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

do you know what i just did on the phone and got a barrage of abuse about how 'I was the only good thing in his life and now i am making him feel miserable too'

really, seriously have had enough of the crap.

 

[titch]

maybe he should realise his happiness is not your responsibility!!! Good grief

 

[karenandbump]

Aw hon....so sorry ur dad is making you feel like this - worth trying to maybe write him a letter explaining it to avoid the emotion of another phone call? xxx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

hey guys, things are good, i had a Really hard week but sorted things out with Dad and also sorted out the more painful stuff going on (i cant write about it all again here but its in my last journal entry) and i am feeling much much better now

thanks for the virtual hugs and letting me get everything down xxx

 

[titch]

great to hear things are looking up

 

[Sam's Mum]

So glad you've sorted things out with your dad and things are getting a bit better for you