Advice Needed!!

[HeppiBean]

Ok, it's a couple of things really...

Firstly a problem with OH. He's been on and off of various anti-depressants for a while because they kept making him ill or angry. He's now on some more where the doctor told him that they'd proper f*** him up for the first week or so... He's been taking them for about 3 days and he's actually become a c***! It's like he expects me to do and know everything!

I was awake last night, just couldn't sleep, so I did some cleaning. There was a lot of washing up that needed doing and the kitchen needed a good clean so I got on with it. He wakes up this morning, sees what I've done and has a go at me cause "it's not good enough" and if his Mum came round she'd say the place was a shit hole! I'm sorry! It was 4 o clock in the morning, all I wanted to do was sort the worst of it out!! And still there is no way anyone could say it was a "shit hole"... So after being awake for less than 5 minutes I was back in the kitchen scrubbing away again so that he'd shut up!

Cause of lack of sleep I'm not exactly in the best of moods today so said that I didn't particularly want his mate coming round... That is apparently "unacceptable" because I went out yesterday... Don't see how that has anything to do with it considerably his mate was here yesterday but in his words I can either "suck it up or f*** off"...

Was feeling pretty s***ty after all this so decided I'd have a lay down with the kitty cats... Leading to the next problem........

OH "asked" me to clean out the litter tray cause apparently if he does it he'll "snap the little c***s neck" so off I go... Problem is one of our cats, Puff, had done his business on the floor... We got them at 8 weeks old back in November and they were both nicely litter trained. For about 6 weeks they'd both do their business in the litter tray... Then one day Puff just suddenly started pooing on the floor randomly. He was doing it all the time but gradually over time it's become as occasional thing. But he still does it! I love them both to bits but I'm running out of ideas now.

The same cat with the litter tray problem we think may have something wrong with him as all his poos are pretty much liquid. We've tried them on kitten food, wet and dry, adult food, wet and dry, iams... Nothing helps. And although I'm happy to just get on with it and clean up after them both OH says that if it happens one more time he's chucking them outside and they're never coming back in. I love em to bits and really dont wanna lose them but OH doesn't give a s*** about that!

Please ladies... Any advice on any of this would be greatly appreciated... Sorry it was a bit long xx

 

[ZMD]

Sorry to hear OH isn't being very pleaseant! personally id take the cat who Poos out of the tray to the vets because he may be doing it because something is wrong 1 of mine (i've got 4) had a stomach bug when she was a kitten and kept Pooing everywhere she was given antibiotics and has used the tray ever since xx

 

[Maria1977]

Sorry your OH is being such a nobber. He needs a kick up the arse! Agree with ZMS about taking the cat to vets.

And really your OH should be clearing up the cats poo when you're preggo coz it can be dangerous. I woke up one time when I was about 16 weeks pregnant and touched something wet on the bed, turned the light on and the cat had been sick, as I sat up I noticed the cat had actually been sick and pooed everywhere in the bedroom, got up and it was all down the stairs too. OH got up and cleaned the whole lot up bless him. God knows what the cat had eaten but it was grossss!!

Defo your OH should not be speaking to you the way he is, he can't keep blaming his pills for being such a miser!!!



xxxxxxx

 

[Maria1977]

*ZMD not ZMS lol Sozzle xxx

 

[daniph1]

As Maria says babe - You should not be cleaning cat litter. I can harm unborn babies and he should be doing it! Your OH is being a complete dick! Tell him to F off! How dare he speak to you/at you the way he is! I have sympathy for ppl who suffer form depression etc but no depression authooirses him to speak and treat you like he is! DOnt put up with it! Stand up to him and tell him it is unaccepatable. Much love to you xxxx

 

[HeppiBean]

As Maria says babe - You should not be cleaning cat litter. I can harm unborn babies and he should be doing it! Your OH is being a complete dick! Tell him to F off! How dare he speak to you/at you the way he is! I have sympathy for ppl who suffer form depression etc but no depression authooirses him to speak and treat you like he is! DOnt put up with it! Stand up to him and tell him it is unaccepatable. Much love to you xxxx

OH was doin cat litter but because of how their poo is he was getting really angry and hurt my lil man hence why I'm doin it half the time now. It keeps him calm(er). The main worry with cats and litter trays is for cats that go outside as well (I read up on it online) as they are more likely to pass toxoplasmosis onto us but indoor cats who don't eat raw meat (which mine dont) are apparently ok-ish so long as you wash your hands .

We don't have insurance for the cats yet as they haven't had their jabs so a trip to the vets would mean a fortune(, it's 50 just to get in the room to see the vet!)... Which we don't have, only get 250 pound a fortnight... But once they've had their jabs and we've got insurance I'll happily take them to the vets. If OH wasn't such an a*** when it came to his DLA we could pay out of that but apparently that is HIS money and as they're MY cats he doesn't wanna pay

I tried telling him straight about the way he's been talking to/treating me but he just says that "I warned you what these tablets will be like" and "if you can't deal with me like this for a couple of weeks get out" because of my mental health atm he does have a lot to cope with, but whether these meds are f***ing him up or not, in my eyes it's still no excuse to behave how he is...

He best get his act together soon though, I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take... Earlier on when we got in I was just laying down and he told me to stop looking miserable and do something or get out!! I'm sorry I was having a rest... Jeezz!!

Sorry for another lil rant there :/ xx

 

[littlemiss83]

My cat is indoor cat and I had 2 cats a couple of years back and they were both indoor and I cleaned out their litter tray through my last pregnancy and this one ( I was also told indoor ones weren't as dangerous, as long as hands are washed ect ) my OH literally cant clean them without being physically sick. One of the previous cats we had, it was doing the same, pooing all over the floor and not in the tray and i was pg so it had to go back to the cat home (we'd only had them a matter of weeks so thankfully weren't that attached to it) It turned out that that particular cat had been getting scared of the other cat (that was male) and it was too scared to use the tray!?

If you get housing benefit or other benefits you should be entitled to free vet care through the PDSA. Only problem is you'd need to have one near you. I dont get any social benefits anymore, but if we need vet care we get someone else who is getting benefits to come down and sign the papers and "kid on" the cat is theirs. Here's a link to their website, I found a bit for you that shows if you qualify for help, it should also tell u where your local one is -

http://www.pdsa.org.uk/pdsa-vet-care/eligibility

Sounds like your walking on egg shells a bit with your OH. Not really sure what advice to give, I know when someone is depressed their number one concern is themself and they find it hard to emphasise with other ppl. Maybe you should re-evaluate things after he's had the 3 weeks on the tablets.

 

[HeppiBean]

My cat is indoor cat and I had 2 cats a couple of years back and they were both indoor and I cleaned out their litter tray through my last pregnancy and this one ( I was also told indoor ones weren't as dangerous, as long as hands are washed ect ) my OH literally cant clean them without being physically sick. One of the previous cats we had, it was doing the same, pooing all over the floor and not in the tray and i was pg so it had to go back to the cat home (we'd only had them a matter of weeks so thankfully weren't that attached to it) It turned out that that particular cat had been getting scared of the other cat (that was male) and it was too scared to use the tray!?

If you get housing benefit or other benefits you should be entitled to free vet care through the PDSA. Only problem is you'd need to have one near you. I dont get any social benefits anymore, but if we need vet care we get someone else who is getting benefits to come down and sign the papers and "kid on" the cat is theirs. Here's a link to their website, I found a bit for you that shows if you qualify for help, it should also tell u where your local one is -

http://www.pdsa.org.uk/pdsa-vet-care/eligibility

Sounds like your walking on egg shells a bit with your OH. Not really sure what advice to give, I know when someone is depressed their number one concern is themself and they find it hard to emphasise with other ppl. Maybe you should re-evaluate things after he's had the 3 weeks on the tablets.

Thank you so much for the PSDA link, just done the eligiblity check and we do qualify am going to give them a call tomorrow to get more info

As for OH, I'm just getting on with it for the time being but it is really getting me down xx

 

[JoJo79]

Feel for you ive had "words" with my hubby bout me cleaning the dog pen out, he aint happy but he's doing it now as we really shouldnt,

My only suggestion is maybe see if your oh can go back to his gp and explain these tablets are making him totally irrational?

Like the others have said you shouldnt have to put up with it and how your feeling atm wont be helped by being shouted at,

Everyones different i know but if that'd been my dh id have told him to do it his f'ing self and if he didnt like it HE could go!

Thinking of you if you ever wanna chat just pm me xxxx

 

[HeppiBean]

GP said that the tabs would mess him about for a couple of weeks so I just gotta ride it through and fingers crossed it'll get better soon... Just the way I'm feeling right now.... The sooner the better!! xx

 

[knopk@]

I dont know how much tablets mess with your head but it does sound like he is using them asan excuse, see how it goes though but you shouldnt tolerate this sort of attitude, you have hormones raging as well, you know

 

[suzzi]

your oh shouldnt be talking to you like he is tablets or no tablets, bet he talks nicely to his mate. i lost my cat last week someone poisoned it and it broke my heart, so im angry he could even consider ringing its neck.

i really feel for you as your trying to keep the peace walking on egg shells and looking after home and pets, lots of hugs to you x x

 

[daniph1]

Thinking of you! xx

 

[HeppiBean]

Thanks girls. Things haven't really improved much the last couple of days apart from me just doing the housework and sorting the cats out before he starts moaning... Mehh. This heats killing me with a bump cleaning all the time though He is sooo not getting away with this much longer x

 

[Olive]

How are things now?xxx

 

[Princess81]

chicken and rice mix will sort out the cat poo issue comes in tins at pets at home and the like

 

[HeppiBean]

A bit better thanks... I've just started telling him to shut up ha ha

Puff cat didnt poop on the floor this morning... It was in the litter tray but my days was it rough could hear the diarrhoea type noise from upstairs xx

 

[titch]

ewwww, this is why I dont want pets!! baby pooping inthe bath is bad enough!!

I hope things are improving with your OH. From what youve written it sounds like hes being really unfair to you are the moment. Dont let him think just cos hes on these tablets that he doesnt have to even try and be nice to you. Or if he does lose control, at least apologise for it afterwards. Are you having to tiptoe around him to keep him happy?

 

[HeppiBean]

ewwww, this is why I dont want pets!! baby pooping inthe bath is bad enough!!

I hope things are improving with your OH. From what youve written it sounds like hes being really unfair to you are the moment. Dont let him think just cos hes on these tablets that he doesnt have to even try and be nice to you. Or if he does lose control, at least apologise for it afterwards. Are you having to tiptoe around him to keep him happy?

Yerr... It is gradually getting better over time though xx