Advice needed - work related

[Rachel1509]

I know this is going to be an essay so I apologise in advance!
I've been in my current job for about 5 months now. I was there for about 4-5 weeks then found out I was expecting.
As soon as I shared it with my manager, she wanted to have a chat straight away as 'it wasn't in the plan' for me to get pregnant when she first agreed to employ me.
Then at 9 weeks pregnant I ended up going to hospital with stomach pains and didn't get home til the early hours so couldn't possibly work the next day (as I was due to start at 7:30am) and had my OH and mum telling me I'd better not go in and wasn't fit enough to, so I didn't.

A few weeks ago, I'd had the worst weekend ever, stressed upto my eyeballs with money problems, family problems and being ill. I was so ill with bad migraines that I went into work and sent myself home as I work with computers and it was making it 10 times worse.
Once home, I got a phone call off my manager who wasn't friendly in the slightest saying it was unacceptable and how I'd 'got an attitude' with her about it all and that we would need to have a chat about it the day after. I got off the phone with her and immediately burst into tears and was so upset I couldn't do anything but sob my heart out. My OH was not happy at all and said to ring my midwife for advice. About 10 minutes after this happened, I went to the toilet to find myself bleeding. I was inconsolable at this moment and my boyfriend was hysterically worrying saying we had to go to hospital. After advice from my doctor that evening, he sent me off to hospital for a scan and anti-d injection and gave me a sick note for 2 weeks because i needed time to relax and de-stress. I told work about this and that was that as there's nothing they could really do.

I've now returned to work and the H.R lady has asked for my consent to see my medical report off my doctor, and said if I wasn't pregnant then I would of been sacked by now.
I asked why they felt the need to see my medical history and she said 'because your sick note stating pregnancy related illness doesnt really tell us enough'.
I have a strong feeling towards declining to give consent, but just wanting everyones thoughts on this. I honestly feel like they're trying to stir trouble and somehow get me out of there, but they're scheming and doing it in the cleverest way possible.

Help?

 

[Esoames]

I think you need to ring acas. They will give you sound advice, they shouldn't bully you though xx

 

[Levi89]

OMG!!! I thought my ex-boss lady was bad! Hun, get yourself to Citizens Advice and tell them. Also get a complaint - ensure you state it is formal - through HR even though they also chipped into this problem. Also write in your complaint that its bullying and you are seeking external advice. If you put bulling and external advice they usually shi* themselves! If you dont feel comfortable writing this to HR, find another high up person to give this complaint to.

The get your arse off to the docs, get signed off again to chill out and see Citizens Advice. If they dont stop now it'll continue when the baby is here...

Chin up love, I've kind of been in the same situation... Hugs xxxxxxxx

 

[Emmamb]

I wouldn't give consent-it has nothing to do with them-it's not as if uve faked the docs note is it?!
If u can afford to be on sick for the entire pregnancy then I would def get signed off for the duration! Then tell them to stick their job xx

 

[Jaxx01]

OMG.

Right, if the doctor has put 'Pregnancy Related Illness' then they have to accept that hun. They are being so unfair and unreasonable to put you under stress like this its not on.

They have to be extremely careful...but I would, under NO circumstances give ANYONE the permission to my medical file no way!!! Other than like the DVLA or life insurance etc there is no need!!

I personally would tell them to stick it and get signed off.

You poor thing, I know how you feel. My probation period wasnt passed because I was pregnant at my old job think my boss was jealous of me being pregnant as she was ttc xx

 

[dyscochick]

hun I don't know the law but they HAVE to accept a doctors note, and the reasons stated on it. They don't need any more details than that. Do NOT give them consent and definitely seek advice. have you got a union? What a horrible situation I hope you are coping OK, the stress must be awful

 

[Joo]

said if I wasn't pregnant then I would of been sacked by now.

I really don't think she should have said that. That sounds like harassment/bullying, and from recent experience, they should be a LOT more careful with what they say to you. If you're in a union, speak to your rep asap. Otherwise get down the CAB, pronto.
Awful that you're going through this, I wish you luck.

 

[Rachel1509]

Thanks for all the replies, it really means a lot to me that you read that long post I wrote!

Well I went to Citizens Advice this morning and it didn't help that much but kinda made me think. The lady I saw said she wasn't used to giving out pregnancy related advice and toddled off upstairs to find a leaflet to give me. She came back downstairs and rang Occupational Health for me and spoke to someone for a couple of minutes. The lady on the other end said that it would entirely be my decision whether to give consent, but she doesn't personally see a reason why they'd need them and should of immediately taken what was said on the doctors note as enough information and not questioned it. She also said what I've been worrying about - that they may be digging deeper to try and find an alternative way of getting rid of me, and that theoretically there shouldn't be any negative comeback to me saying no to the medical report.

I genuinely have nothing to hide medically (only thing they'd find is depression from being a teenager and normal medical problems) but the reason I'm wanting to decline is because I see it as completely irrelevant and nothing to do with my 2 week sickness. The H.R lady is wanting my decision Monday morning.

Also, if you tell your workplace verbally that you are pregnant, and they don't ask for any official evidence or ask u to put it in writing etc, does that mean that they've accepted it, or does it mean they could play dumb until they've got written notification like the matb1 form?
I haven't received my matb1 form yet off my midwife, and one of my friends is worried that I should put in writing just in case they want to act dumb as if it isn't confirmed or I never told them.

 

[Zoeox]

I think they accept you telling them verbally, obviously every company can be different but you don't get MatB1 until 24weeks anyhow, and you don't legally have to let them know until 25weeks, I'm guessing its upto you how you put it.
I also think they may be looking into digging a way to get shifty of you but you never know. x

 

[BellaRiven]

I would say no to them about the medical history.

She cannot threaten or bully you in anyway and I would mention that too her as well, if they do then they can be held liable for bullying in the workplace and causing distress to you.

How dare they dothis to you, I would be enraged, youv'e done them a favour telling them so early!!! at least now they can prepare...

Let us know how you got on xx

 

[Rachel1509]

I would say no to them about the medical history.

She cannot threaten or bully you in anyway and I would mention that too her as well, if they do then they can be held liable for bullying in the workplace and causing distress to you.

How dare they dothis to you, I would be enraged, youv'e done them a favour telling them so early!!! at least now they can prepare...

Let us know how you got on xx

I was absolutely fuming during the meeting about it all! But I thought, need to keep calm and act as civil and understanding as possible, because then they can't use anything else against me!

She also tried pinning that on me too. She said 'We can't prepare for the future either, your cover etc.. because you haven't told us how long you want off or when your taking your leave', so i said 'Well I don't need to tell you that until I'm 26 weeks anyway. I have a fair idea but nothing too solid just yet as I'm waiting for my matb1 form' then she carried on explaining how another pregnant employee whos under 12 weeks has already decided and announced her plans for leave. Woop dee doo good for her!

That's it, I've decided.. I'm refusing!
I will let you all know how I get on Monday

 

[dyscochick]

Hun, whatever they do from now on they can't claim they didn't know cos your sick note said pregnancy related illness! don't let them ride over you and PLEASE don't give them access to your medical notes, its irrelevant and if they want info they can talk to you about it! You have SO made the right decision. THeir behaviour IS bullying and I would threaten them with legal action if they don't pull their neck in! Even if someone is on maternity you can't push them about coming back or talk to them about work, they have to deal with it its not you problem. they are so in the wrong! good luck on monday hun xx

 

[Sassysugar]

God she's an awful boss, as they know you're pregnant they now need to carry out a risk assessment too, to make sure you aren't in any danger etc!

Also you don't need to decide when you're going on leave or coming back yet so I would stick to your guns and don't let them bully you. You can also change your mind if you do tell them dates! I would also write down everything they do/say to keep a note of it all as what they are doing to you is unacceptable!

Keep us posted of how Monday goes hun x

 

[Olive]

I take it that it's a small company you work for? I can't believe their behaviour!! Especially HR!

XX

 

[kay126]

U only need to tell them at 25 weeks when your intending to go on leave, you don't have to tell them when your returning until 8 weeks before you go back! They are taking the piss, keep a note of everything that's said, when and by who, u will need it if they do get rid of u and u can claim for discrimination x

 

[LoopyLouize]

Chick I think the company need to read your maternity rights as they are bloody bang out of order!!! You do not need to tell them about your leave right now at all. Infact you only need to tell them when your coming back whilst your actually on maternity leave!! If you want I can send you a copy of my works policy which follows the governments guidelines down to a tee so you can see your rights?

What an absolute joke!!!

I really feel for you as it's not nice having work against you rather than with you!

X

 

[Rachel1509]

Thanks for the replies everyone

UPDATE:

Went back to work Monday and nothing was mentioned to me about the consent form. However, this morning (Wednesday) I had my midwife appointment so started work an hour later then usual (I told her way in advance about it obviously). I went straight to her office and gave her my matb1 form, she said "oh i dont think ive seen one of these before" :S The lady has been in H.R for a long time! And she hasn't seen a matb1 before? hmmm strange.

Also, I gave her a small note I'd typed up, which basically confirmed my maternity leave ideas so far. Then as I was leaving she mentioned the medical report consent form and I said I wasn't wanting to give consent as I don't see it as relevant, so she replied with "ok lets forget it this once, but if you're off again before your baby is born then I will be asking for your consent for it again". Also I mentioned that my midwife keeps asking if they've done a risk assessment yet, to get a response of "well your job doesn't really have any risks, as long as you keep to the safety walkways through the factory and have access to the kettle for drinks, then you should be ok". She also implied that being pregnant doesn't make me anymore important then the next working person. She said that risk assessments have been done in the past and even though I'm pregnant, I'm still also a woman and those risks are there still whether im pregnant or not, so the risks aren't particularly heightened cos I'm expecting.

The H.R woman in question also had to ask ME about maternity leave details, as she wasn't aware how long we're allowed off (paid and/or unpaid) so I had to tell her as she didn't have a clue!

I just don't know how to deal with it. I don't want to come across as trouble causing as it will look bad on me, but obviously my health and my babies is very important to me.

 

[Olive]

Has your company got a maternity policy hun? It's so shocking

Look at acas website.


Xxx

 

[dyscochick]

Def make sure you have your rights, and even if she asks again do NOT give her consent to see your medical records its irrelevant and I would be tempted to put in a complaint about her to her line manager, her treatment of you is plain ignorant! If she took it further you would have the law behind you I'm sure. Get all the info together that you need just in case. xx

 

[kellylou]

I agree get in touch with Acas, make a diary of everything that has been said to you, dates and times etc its important you do this incase they try to force you out of your job. May sound extreme but I have just had problems like this with my lst job when returning from mat leave and I had to resign in the end but almost took them to a tribunal until they backed down. If you have a diary of events it helps when you have a formal meeting and you can alsoraise a grievance. Acas are fab for advice please don't put yourself under extra stress, companies pray on people not knowing their rights thus allowing them to get away with murder.