Advice for 1st time mums

[lealea85]

Are you looking forward to becoming a mum for the first time?
Anything that is on ur mind?

And mums who have more than one child, is there any advice you could spare us?


I'm looking forward to being a mum, just worried I'm gonna do something wrong but not sure what that is. Its all nerves as I'm slowly creeping up to my due date.
I can't wait for baby to arrive as I'm bored of being pregnant n I just want to see n hold my son.

 

[midnight]

dont get overwhelmed with everyones advice i mean you will be told about 100 different ways that you should do thing but find your own way that you and baby are comfortable with and if someone say no you should wind them this way or that way just tell them well the way you do it works hee hee

that many people will tell you how they did it but its best to find your way to do it

its suprising how much stuff comes naturally and we will all be here if you need any advice or you are not sure about something

also remember to cherish every minute because they grow too quick my eldest goes high school this year but it doesnt seem like 2 minutes ago that i was bringing her home from the hospital xxx

 

[mikid]

I feel the same lealea ... it is very daunting but despite that i jus CANNOT WAIT to get LO here and give her a big snuggle!

So many people say it comes naturally that it must do, but it is hard to imagine how you'll just know, when you feel like there is so much you don't know

Midnight, I think you're right, already i've had so many conflicting things advised that you could get yourself in a right state worrying about who to listen to about what, so think i'm going to 'try' and be laid back about it all and see what rhythm we fall into... sure it won't be quite that easy though!!

 

[midnight]

your midwives will help you loads whilst your in hospital and you will learn loads from just a short stay

the guide lines on how to do things have changed on everyone of my children lol i no longer listen to half of them you cant learn from books how to be a mum its a very much hands on learning experience, babies are alot tougher than we think and if something isnt quite right your baby will soon let you know you think your scared try watching a man changing a newborn nappy with their 1st poo my ds pooed so he changed him then as he had the nappy off he wee'd then threw up too i couldnt help him i was laughing so much at him getting flustered and screaming for help lol but he is a fab dad and does practically everything for him (my ds is very much a daddies boy)

 

[mikid]

my ds pooed so he changed him then as he had the nappy off he wee'd then threw up too i couldnt help him i was laughing so much at him getting flustered and screaming for help lol but he is a fab dad and does practically everything for him (my ds is very much a daddies boy)

I think my hubby would run screaming from the room if that happened to him

 

[midnight]

it was fun even his mum sat there laughing

 

[lealea85]

I'm petrified of my OH doin anything with a newborn as he isn't used to being round babies.
I left him on nappy duty with my god daughter n I always knew when he was changing her as she would scream blue murder. Instead of using 2 wipes he uses like 5 :/
I'm not the most patient person when it comes to most things except children.
I keep having the same dream that hubby (being the nob he at times) will kick over the baby bed or roll over on baby or sit on him.....as my other half doesn't look what he's doing so I'm scared as hell.
I'm just worried that I'm not gonna be able to tell the difference between hungry cries n I'm sick cries.
Or that my mum/friends/family are gonna try n take over my role :/....... I can imagine me blowing a fuse at that.
It's so silly I know.

I'm anxious n nervous at the same time. I've asked mum to not let anyone come to the house for the first week.
Ppl can come to the hospital but that's it. I just want to bond with baba n relax.

Midnight, that's the best advice I've been given believe it or not. So thank you.

 

[midnight]

you will be a fab mummy dont worry

 

[PinkPunch]

Lealea you will understand your babies cries better than anyone else, it doesn't matter if they are a mum or not, you will learn your babies noises and will form a strong bond. You'll be a great mum.

 

[lealea85]

I've got too many "what ifs" going thru my mind so I'm going to talk to my bottle of 7UP n drink it lol

 

[PinkPunch]

I've got too many "what ifs" going thru my mind so I'm going to talk to my bottle of 7UP n drink it lol

If it talks back, don't drink anymore of it lol

 

[midnight]

if it talks back rinng the dr lol

 

[cosmicgirl]

You will be a fab mum and when your baby comes you will know exactly what to do. If people try to talk you into things you arent comfortable with, put your foot down. That includes your family, in-laws and basically everyone who will have an opinion about how to do this and that! (my nan is the worst for that).

Relax and most importantly enjoy your gorgeous baby xx

 

[flexilexi394]

Lealea i am in the same boat as yoU! first time mum, not a bloody clue, also worry about other people taking over like my mum or MIL but i tell you i wont let them! i dont want them telling me how to do things, as if Im completely honest, i feel quite confident about the whole thing! not that im going to know exactly what to do, but how much of a learning curve its going to be and what kind of a world bringing up a child opens up! i cant wait if im honest, and i do understand there will be mega ups and downs, but all in all i am so looking forward to it, and am not getting bogged down with cot death etc, as i think its not necessary to worry about it. I am so looking forward to trying to breastfeed and labour and all that stuff!
Try and think positive about it, its gonna be fun! one of the best parts is we have the forum and we can ask anyone anything we like basically! hope that helps xx

 

[lealea85]

The bottle of 7UP didn't talk back it just hissed at me Loool

It feels good to know that im not the only person feeling all this.

 

[xshauna_bazx]

Hi popping in from tri 2
I feel exactly the same...about OH aswell, he is sooo clumsy all of the time. I'll be scared incase he drops the baby or hurts it. Plus he is clueless with babies. He won't hold anyone elses baby atall...i know he will be a good dad but the clumsiness worries me! x

 

[midnight]

just bear in mind everyone with kids male or female have been a been a 1st time parent at some point you are sooo not alone

 

[emma_85]

I'm also in the same boat as you lealea. It's so hard to judge how best to handle situations, and know what is best for your baby at any given time. I do believe though that you will know. It wont seem like that now, it doesn't to me either, but in time to come you will know every noise and each little demand.

I was quite anxious about the whole Mum taking over and MIL sticking her nose in. I have to say though that my in laws have been fab, listening to decisions hubby and I have made (breastfeeding, nappies etc) and been supportive. In fact I would go as far as saying, I have been VERY upset by in laws "not bothering" much attitude. They are yet to buy 1 thing for the baby, who will be their first grandchild.

My own Mum on the other hand has been a complete nightmare, the eaxact opposite to my in laws. I would go as far as saying she is completely OBSESSED by the baby already and is constantly buying things for the baby. In the end I had to tell her that there were some things that me and hubby want to get ourselves and could she stop buying things. We made the mistake of telling my Mum the name we were thinking of for our little man, and at Christmas she bought my husband a dressing gown and had embroidered on it "Wake up Daddy, Elliott needs a feed!" she also bought a baby blanket with "Elliott" embroidered on it. Then was very upset when we told her we were spelling it with one t not two, and that it wasn't a definate name choice! To say she saw here arse is an understatement!
My Mum is one of these people who has an opinion about EVERYTHING. We did have a rather large barney some months ago where she disagreed with something, and rang up somewhere to proove her point (disposable nappies against re-usuable/washable ones being cheaper in the long run etc) I blew up in flames saying "anyone would think you had had 10 kids Mum (i'm an only child!)"
In the end I had to cool down and say to myself that these bickerings were causing a wedge between me and her and that I should approach it differently. So I sat her down and said quite amicably "I don't expect you to agree with everything that Simon and I choose to do regarding our baby, but I do expect you to respect our wishes and accept the route we choose to take" She took this better - she was still sour about it - the 'hurt' expression, but since then her attitude with things have been much better.

I'm still very concerned about how she will be when the baby is here, but I have distance on my side as she lives in Manchester and I'm in Bristol! lol Evenso I think the visits will become more frequent, but at least I always have notice of her coming over and can mentally prepare for polite nods, then just do my own thing anyway.

I've found the most difficult thing to be my Mother during my pregnancy. But I would advise anyone to not "flip out" because things can be said that can be hurtful and cause harm. My midwife was the one who advised me to nod and agree politely and thank for the input, but then do what YOU feel is right.

So sorry for the waffle btw!!!

 

[don-don]

AWWW, im the opposite with my mother, shes been such a good mum i only hope i can be as good as her, Ive got alot to live up to!!! Shes prob the only person i listen to with regards to advice and suggestions, oh and my cousin, shes been fab fab fab!!!xxxxxxx

 

[lealea85]

My in-laws haven't brought a thing. My mum n dad brought everything (I got got to buy all the clothes as that's all they allowed me to do lol)

My parents are very old Skool in some sense where they believe the grandparents are suppose to buy all the baby needs (ie: Moses basket, pram etc) n they were very suprised at my other halfs parents.
I know this is their 6th grandchild but I don't think they are really bothered.
At this point it's been a great help as I got made redundant from my job in insurance in feb last year n by the time I found another job I was 5 months pregnant n they wouldn't hire me. So I'm out of work.....hubby got laid off 4 months ago so neither of us are working. His mother could never come n tell me how to do anything bcos I would go mental. ESP for someone who hasn't helped. Even if it was offering advice or support id be happy but nada. I didnt expect much anyway.

Hubby will always be a clutz n that scares me big time.
If he drops or sits on baby you may see me on crimestoppers for gluing him upside down to a wall somewhere in south London. Lol

I spoke to my mum about my fear of her stepping in n taking over my role n she said it doesn't mean cos I'm staying with het for a few months that she will over step the mark but if she feels I need to sleep ESP after I come out of hospital n in the first few weeks she will take Lil man so I can rest but other than that will only step in when she is really needed. It was a weight off my chest to hear that.

I said for tue first week I didnt want anyone at the house visiting as I want to relax n have some Quality bonding time with baba.
But if I have to stay in hospital who wants to visit, can do so.

I've got quite a few things on my mind but my main ones hopefully will subside